Law School Discussion

"Marriage is for white people" ?

"Marriage is for white people" ?
« on: March 31, 2006, 04:27:24 PM »
Did anyone see Joy Jones' article in the Washington Post this week about marriage in the Black community?

Its headline was "Marriage is for white people."   i was just curious to see if anyone else read it and what you thought of it.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/03/25/AR2006032500029_2.html

Burning Sands, Esq.

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Re: "Marriage is for white people" ?
« Reply #1 on: March 31, 2006, 04:42:54 PM »
I think she's got just a twinge of the bitter black woman syndrome but she def makes some valid points.  We are just not willing to settle anymore.  We are becoming more independent.  For the brothers too.  I could have been married like 3 times already years ago but not with my soul mate, just a convenient mate.
 
Especially for those of us in higher education, we have it the worst. We want a mate who is bringing something to the table to compliment what we have accomplished in life and there's not a strong pool to draw from in that regard.

Terabithia

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Re: "Marriage is for white people" ?
« Reply #2 on: March 31, 2006, 05:27:41 PM »
This makes me sad, I want to get married and have children and prefarably before I hit 40.

Victor

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Re: "Marriage is for white people" ?
« Reply #3 on: April 01, 2006, 08:43:42 AM »
Actually considering the divorce rates marriage isnt for anybody.

And heres a little tidbit . . . . marriage is 90 percent monetarily based.

cyberrev

Re: "Marriage is for white people" ?
« Reply #4 on: April 01, 2006, 08:47:21 AM »
Actually considering the divorce rates marriage isnt for anybody.

And heres a little tidbit . . . . marriage is 90 percent monetarily based.



damn, did i back the wrong horse.  we're both broke as hell.

23 year anniversary tomorrow, though!

Re: "Marriage is for white people" ?
« Reply #5 on: April 01, 2006, 08:52:52 AM »
Ah the sacred institution of marriage where over FIFTY percent of the agreements end in failure. I suppose at this point in my life I don't really understand the desire to enter into marriage - but then again I'm young and haven't really been in love before.

Biglaw lawyers are the most "single" people in the country - they have divorce rates that exceed those of NAVY SEALS. Strikes me as a semi-unbelievable statistic given the nature of the work performed by the Seals: killing people in small, far away countries 6 months at a time. I attended a biglaw firm reception (Morgan Lewis) last week - the people seemed nice enough but they looked exactly what you'd expect a workaholic to look like: soft, if not fat then "doughy", pale, and tired. Me: "what do  you guys do outside of work?", them: "Hahaha, yeah - good one." Go figure. It became apparent that they lived for the firm. I suppose maybe this course of action is semi-reasonable given the obsecene money they are being paid but eh

discouraging i guess

but yeah marriage and the law - two seemingly incompatible concepts

cyberrev

Re: "Marriage is for white people" ?
« Reply #6 on: April 01, 2006, 08:55:31 AM »
marriage and ministry havent been all that compatible either, but we've still made it work.  at least my wife never tried to off me in the parsonage

Victor

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Re: "Marriage is for white people" ?
« Reply #7 on: April 01, 2006, 09:03:20 AM »
Actually considering the divorce rates marriage isnt for anybody.

And heres a little tidbit . . . . marriage is 90 percent monetarily based.



damn, did i back the wrong horse.  we're both broke as hell.

23 year anniversary tomorrow, though!


Yes, but the question is do you guys plan on staying that way? Hmmm?


Rev: Umm . . . . hey muffin, I know I said I wanted to be a big time lawyer and all, and I told you I was going to feed you caviar at the majestic Alps of Argentina and travel to places like Parieeeeee (Paris), but ummmm . . . looks like ummm, I'm having a little change of heart . . . . ummm ya see, I want to be a public school teacher for the rest of my life.

Rev's Wife: *jumps up in mid-air and strangles Rev like Jack Bauer does on 24* YOU WANT TO DO WHAT?!?!?!?!  >:(

Rev: *tries to gather words* Hahaha . . . umm April Fools?

Rev's Wife: Ohhhh that wit of yours! You little goober!  :D

Rev:  :-[

Burning Sands, Esq.

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Re: "Marriage is for white people" ?
« Reply #8 on: April 01, 2006, 09:07:20 AM »
Ah the sacred institution of marriage where over FIFTY percent of the agreements end in failure. I suppose at this point in my life I don't really understand the desire to enter into marriage - but then again I'm young and haven't really been in love before.

Biglaw lawyers are the most "single" people in the country - they have divorce rates that exceed those of NAVY SEALS. Strikes me as a semi-unbelievable statistic given the nature of the work performed by the Seals: killing people in small, far away countries 6 months at a time. I attended a biglaw firm reception (Morgan Lewis) last week - the people seemed nice enough but they looked exactly what you'd expect a workaholic to look like: soft, if not fat then "doughy", pale, and tired. Me: "what do  you guys do outside of work?", them: "Hahaha, yeah - good one." Go figure. It became apparent that they lived for the firm. I suppose maybe this course of action is semi-reasonable given the obsecene money they are being paid but eh

discouraging i guess

but yeah marriage and the law - two seemingly incompatible concepts

LOL at that.

Yeah that's pretty much the size of it for those planning to go into big law.  Good luck with that.

"V"

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Re: "Marriage is for white people" ?
« Reply #9 on: April 01, 2006, 09:20:19 AM »
Actually considering the divorce rates marriage isnt for anybody.

And heres a little tidbit . . . . marriage is 90 percent monetarily based.


Source for that data?

Nor would I consider divorce rates valid in claiming marriage isn't for anybody. The failure rates at any venture would rarely make those who find success wish they had not. For instance, the failure rate at starting a successful business would not dishearten those who have done so successfully. Nor would the dropout rate at high schools or colleges (specific or across the board) be a major drawback to those who wish to begin it, or have made it through successfully.

Marriage is a venture that two people make together. In most cases, that venture is made in the good faith that the marriage will work - but in the complexity of human interaction, in growth and change, often these risks will not pay off. It is worth noting that money is often cited as a major source of CONFLICT in relationships, not as the basis for them. When a marriage does fail, it also does not seem to discourage people as a whole - most people in a failed marriage will resume relationships, and many will attempt marriage again.

This speaks to me, at least, that marriage (and I speak of marriage as a 'union' not as a legal institution, because we are discussing marriage/divorce) can be a risky business - but its benefits far outweighs any of its costs. Love, support, encouragement, protection, and the opportunity to form a closer mental, emotional, and physical bond than you would ever otherwise have the opportunity.