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Author Topic: Inter-Racial Marriages/Relationships, thoughts/opinions/concerns?  (Read 13050 times)

PaddyWack

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Re: Inter-Racial Marriages/Relationships, thoughts/opinions/concerns?
« Reply #40 on: March 28, 2006, 09:01:43 AM »
I don't see wanting to protect racial purity as a desirable goal - for anyone of any race.


You didn't directly answer my question.  I asked about culture.  Is it okay for our culture to be diluted into nothingness?  I presume that since, to some extent the duration of Af-Am culture is dependent on the existence of an Af-Am racial identity, you are fine with the elimination of Black culture.  Is this a fair presumption?

I don't agree with holding on to a culture just for its own sake.  On an individual level everyone should be free to choose what culture they choose to adopt and indentify with, without fear of being perceived by anyone as abondoning your group or culture.  After centuries of struggle, the option now exists to step across lines that would have previously meant death, and there are clearly reasons that are beneficial to both the individual and to society as a whole for doing so.  So why thumb our noses at someone who happily utilizes that option?  If you strongly identify with your race, be it Black or White, that's fine so long as there is no intentional negativity towards another race, or towards anyone of your race that does not share that identity, but likely uses other factors to define who they are.

I don't see wanting to preserve the Black bloodline as a lofty goal, anymore than I see wanting to keep wealth within a small group as a worthy endeavour.  I see nothing wrong with the assimilation of the Black culture into the dominant culture, because that's simply the way of things.  When two groups exist within proximity of each other for an extended period without much assimiliation, that familiarity eventually turns into contempt.  It's simply human nature.  Black culture will not suffer for it, anymore than White culture will.  The relationship will likely be dynamic with both cultures influencing the other.  There will be pros and there will be cons, but the pros of doing so will greatly outweigh the cons of not doing so.

Sometimes I think people, especially older people, hold onto their culture as they would a life preserver.  To them change is the equivalent of death, and so they treat those who might bring about change as those who would just as soon murder them during sleep.  The mentality runs something like "this is who we are".  That necessarily implies "that is who they are", and that is the genesis of seperatism and racism.  In-group/out-group bias.  There is us and we are good.  And there is them...and they are not us.

Nothing will change as long as people staunchly refuse to give an inch.  You must give up something in order to gain something.  It is for the dominant group to relenquish some measure of their power to us, and it is for us to be willing to leave something behind as we accept our roles and responsibilities and move forward.  Black people, as with any minority group dominated by a majority group, stand to lose a great deal more by refusing some measure of assimilation than to hold to misguided notions of group identity.

One Step Ahead

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Re: Inter-Racial Marriages/Relationships, thoughts/opinions/concerns?
« Reply #41 on: March 28, 2006, 09:18:31 AM »
something tells me not too many people are like Brian

"We laugh defiantly about how we are race traitors/mixers, but seriously, we fully understand the deep implications of having an interracial marriage. Brian is willing to change his last name to mine so that I won't have to lose a part of my cultural identity, allaying one of the biggest reservations my parents legitimately have"
http://www.lovingday.org/couples.htm
 

PaddyWack

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Re: Inter-Racial Marriages/Relationships, thoughts/opinions/concerns?
« Reply #42 on: March 28, 2006, 09:25:29 AM »
something tells me not too many people are like Brian

"We laugh defiantly about how we are race traitors/mixers, but seriously, we fully understand the deep implications of having an interracial marriage. Brian is willing to change his last name to mine so that I won't have to lose a part of my cultural identity, allaying one of the biggest reservations my parents legitimately have"
http://www.lovingday.org/couples.htm
 

I wouldn't do that.  But more for vanity than reasons of group identity.

Mr. Pink

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Re: Inter-Racial Marriages/Relationships, thoughts/opinions/concerns?
« Reply #43 on: March 28, 2006, 09:54:59 AM »
http://www.lovingday.org/index.html

here's a website about interracial couples. we did loving v. virginia today and someone in my section sent it to me. enjoy!

Im taking the LSAT on Lovings' Day, coincidence, maybe.
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cyberrev

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Re: Inter-Racial Marriages/Relationships, thoughts/opinions/concerns?
« Reply #44 on: March 28, 2006, 09:56:43 AM »
this thread is interesting, but it reveals a paradox to me.

if the african american culture is only manifested in the color of one's skin, then the argument against interracial marriage to maintain racial purity is appropriate.

yet from what i have seen, african american culture is so much deeper and richer than a mere outward physical manifestation.  a white child adopted, raised, and inculcated in the african american world is, in my view, african american. not because of what he looks like, but because of who he *is*.

being in an interacial marriage, i do struggle to understand the idea of racial "purity" --in asian cultures, strength is not in diversity, but in similarity.  an "us against the world" mentality, that has been in many cases, justified.  

i don't have the answer to this.  but there is something inside me that says the idea of an 'enforced' racial purity is wrong.  i believe we -- as the human race -- are made stronger and richer in combination, and not in separation.  i believe that we are all created in the image of god, who is neither black, white, arab, hispanic, asian, etc, but the finest qualities of each.

our anniversary is in five days, where we will celebrate 23 years.  we have always taught our children to take pride in who they are, and the dual cultures from which they come.  we don't believe either culture has been diminished by their having been 'mixed.'

jsia.




Nnamdi

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Re: Inter-Racial Marriages/Relationships, thoughts/opinions/concerns?
« Reply #45 on: March 28, 2006, 10:13:48 AM »
...

our anniversary is in five days, where we will celebrate 23 years....

jsia.



HAPPY ANNIVERSARY in advance
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cyberrev

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Re: Inter-Racial Marriages/Relationships, thoughts/opinions/concerns?
« Reply #46 on: March 28, 2006, 10:15:10 AM »
...

our anniversary is in five days, where we will celebrate 23 years....

jsia.



HAPPY ANNIVERSARY in advance


thanks!  gotta find a gift!   ;D

TopGunna

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Re: Inter-Racial Marriages/Relationships, thoughts/opinions/concerns?
« Reply #47 on: March 28, 2006, 12:06:18 PM »
if the african american culture is only manifested in the color of one's skin, then the argument against interracial marriage to maintain racial purity is appropriate.

yet from what i have seen, african american culture is so much deeper and richer than a mere outward physical manifestation.  a white child adopted, raised, and inculcated in the african american world is, in my view, african american. not because of what he looks like, but because of who he *is*.

Congrats on your Aniversary.  I do agree with what you say about African-American culture not being manifested in skin color alone.  Although, I also disagree with your statements ambiguity.  I feel that the culture of the African-American comes from our skin color.  If a white child was raised by African-American parents, lets say upper middle class and took advantage of all that priviledged life gave him/her, they would still not understand the culture because they would be treated as a white person by the world.  Therefore, only know of the blackman/woman's struggle by what they see or hear.  Therefore, emulating the culture, not living it.  This is where my argument lay.

After many attempts at finding an inter-racial partner that would be empathetic to our struggle, I finally realized that they can not be, and can only be sympathetic.

This is why having a black child is so important to me.  It is not for the "purity" of the race, it is for the documentation of our struggle to overcome the hardships of our society and the constant fight my family, as a microcosm of the race, has gone through to get where we are today.  If I were to have a mixed child and they actually did go on to marry and have a child with a white woman, the color of my line would seize to exist.  Ergo, the degredation of pride that my family, and I am sure, many black families, covet and is so hard to protect today.
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dbgirl

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Re: Inter-Racial Marriages/Relationships, thoughts/opinions/concerns?
« Reply #48 on: March 28, 2006, 12:19:55 PM »
Honestly this thread is upsetting me.

It seems that it is a venue for people to espouse distaste/disgust for fair skinned people.
If I started a thread promoting fair skinned purity everyone would be screaming at me. If I said that no one of a fair complexion should ever mix with anyone of a dark complexion, everyone would tell me what a horrible person I am.

I can bet that a lot of people reading -- but not posting -- on this thread are thinking about how hypocritical some black people are.


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redemption

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Re: Inter-Racial Marriages/Relationships, thoughts/opinions/concerns?
« Reply #49 on: March 28, 2006, 12:31:24 PM »
Honestly this thread is upsetting me.

It seems that it is a venue for people to espouse distaste/disgust for fair skinned people.
If I started a thread promoting fair skinned purity everyone would be screaming at me. If I said that no one of a fair complexion should ever mix with anyone of a dark complexion, everyone would tell me what a horrible person I am.

I can bet that a lot of people reading -- but not posting -- on this thread are thinking about how hypocritical some black people are.

Don't be upset. They're just being confused. It's funny; not upsetting.