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Author Topic: Inter-Racial Marriages/Relationships, thoughts/opinions/concerns?  (Read 12935 times)

Nnamdi

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Hoping that my first thread will be on law school but is not since most of the threads on here answered most of my questions.
I'm interested in what folks out there like me think about interracial marriages/relationships...ofcourse you can see from my tar that I'm in one. While from my personal experiences I have not witnessed any downside to it. Maybe is because I'm removed from everyday life activities like most folks out there since I work for myself. Other than few incidents where  my wife and I go to somewhere and people always tend to address her instead of me when it comes to financial matters, like when we bought our home, the home was only in my name but when we got to the closing bank attorney';s office he was addressing the questions to my wife. Other this minor incidents that happen every now and then, which I know I can live with my marriage has been pretty great. Thoughts/opinions/concerns?
IN: BU, UVA, GWU, HASTINGS, CORNELL, STANFORD, NORTHWESTERN, DUKE, BOALT, CHICAGO, YALE, HARVARD, COLUMBIA & NYU
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OUT: BC (my f**king alma mater)

Slow Blues

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Re: Inter-Racial Marriages/Relationships, thoughts/opinions/concerns?
« Reply #1 on: March 27, 2006, 10:12:50 AM »
I've done it myself and have no problem whatsoever with anyone else doing it. I think you'll find most people have no problem with inter-racial dating in general, but won't do it themselves (or will do so only with certain races). I'm not sure how to feel about that.

ibroadrunr

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Re: Inter-Racial Marriages/Relationships, thoughts/opinions/concerns?
« Reply #2 on: March 27, 2006, 10:24:19 AM »
I'm interested in what folks out there like me think about interracial marriages/relationships...of course you can see from my tar that I'm in one.

Can't speak to that directly, don't know you.

My uncle thinks interracial relationships are well enough but probably shouldn't end in marriage and definitely shouldn't result in children--"because it's so hard for biracial kids."  His niece (on the other side), however, has two biracial children, and it's not like he condemns her for it or isn't supportive.  I think my uncle's not a bad guy, per se, but his perspective makes me a) see red, b) want to vomit.

I've had only one serious interracial relationship (out of three serious), and I can't exactly say that race was never an issue.  No problems from friends being upset over it, or that sort of thing, but we did have some minor intercultural issues.  More importantly, I think this person's parents didn't like it.  I think I may've been dumped because of the parents, even, but I never got an explanation.

One of my two non-serious, high school relationships was interracial.  Not a problem, but also a trivial relationship.
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Nnamdi

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Re: Inter-Racial Marriages/Relationships, thoughts/opinions/concerns?
« Reply #3 on: March 27, 2006, 10:56:41 AM »
The intercultural issues exists but it is subsidizing as the years go by 5 years so far. We both know that there are  couple of people out there in the family both sides that does not approve and won't come out and say it publicly. But with us is that we were not dependent on anybody for any kind of assistance...actually it is the other around so because of that we know that most of them will hide their true feelings just because of what they think they stand to loose from us if we find out. We both work for ourselves and very successful so far. This incident happened last summer: our local library was looking for volunteer math and science tutors, my wife went there and they were very excited because we both are over qualified and we were willing to give upto 20 hrs a week. Then when I went to meet the volunteer cordinator to bring in some documents that they asked for, you can see the shock on her face when I walked in, she was proably expecting a caucasian male? Well she never called us back and we figured is their loss not ours. We expect it to be tougher in years to come. The issue that bothers me a bit is that people always implicitly attribute our success to my wife, she never even worked until just last summer when she started helping me out in our business. I will like to hear from people that have bi-racial kids and what kind of experiences they have had so far, we plan to start having kids next year.
IN: BU, UVA, GWU, HASTINGS, CORNELL, STANFORD, NORTHWESTERN, DUKE, BOALT, CHICAGO, YALE, HARVARD, COLUMBIA & NYU
Finalists: Columbia & NYU
OUT: BC (my f**king alma mater)

ibroadrunr

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Re: Inter-Racial Marriages/Relationships, thoughts/opinions/concerns?
« Reply #4 on: March 27, 2006, 11:07:48 AM »
I should note, perhaps, that I've never been in a black/white relationship specifically.

That library incident is screwed, especially since we need more non-caucasian tutors.  I'm sad you and your wife experienced that, Nnamdi.
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Nnamdi

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Re: Inter-Racial Marriages/Relationships, thoughts/opinions/concerns?
« Reply #5 on: March 27, 2006, 11:12:50 AM »
I should note, perhaps, that I've never been in a black/white relationship specifically.

That library incident is screwed, especially since we need more non-caucasian tutors.  I'm sad you and your wife experienced that, Nnamdi.
Yeah it was really sad especially to someone that took my wife's number and said she will be calling to invite us to dinner because we just moved into that town then.
IN: BU, UVA, GWU, HASTINGS, CORNELL, STANFORD, NORTHWESTERN, DUKE, BOALT, CHICAGO, YALE, HARVARD, COLUMBIA & NYU
Finalists: Columbia & NYU
OUT: BC (my f**king alma mater)

Alicat17

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Re: Inter-Racial Marriages/Relationships, thoughts/opinions/concerns?
« Reply #6 on: March 27, 2006, 11:38:08 AM »

Iím in a serious interracial relationship, coming up on 3 years now.  When we were first getting to know each other, what was initially most surprising to me is that when it comes to culture and values, we were so in tune with each other from our most fundamental values (ie. religion/spirituality, politics, our feelings on community and commitment to building a life and career affirming to this, etc) all the way down to our shared love of hip hop and food, etc.  I say I was surprised because Iíd assumed that some major cultural differences would flare, but they havenít because culturally, we are very similar.

Both of our families are working class, and I can honestly say that we haven't disapproval from either side; my family loves him, and his adores me. This is probably because interracial relationships were not foreign to either of our families. The only time we encounter any hostility is from the occasional stranger, but nothing more severe than a cold stare.

Although we are very serious, we are, however, still dating, and thus have not encountered some of the financial issues you have faced, Nnamdi, in purchasing a home and conducting business transactions, etc.  Plus marriage and kids are a looong ways off for us :D. Iím sure these circumstances if/when we face them will likely introduce issues we havenít faced yet, but nothing we lose sleep over. Every couple faces challenges; this will just be another of ours.

Rudy Huckleberry

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Re: Inter-Racial Marriages/Relationships, thoughts/opinions/concerns?
« Reply #8 on: March 27, 2006, 12:58:59 PM »
Great idea.
Everyone should do it.
When you have somebody dying because they are poor and black or poor and white or because of whatever they are ... that erases everything that's great about this country.

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ibroadrunr

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Re: Inter-Racial Marriages/Relationships, thoughts/opinions/concerns?
« Reply #9 on: March 27, 2006, 01:02:44 PM »
Great idea.
Everyone should do it.

 :D
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