I'll give it a go
1. New. Haven.
2. Your friends/family think you're an idiot for going there over HARVARD (OMG!!)
3. You got in b/c you are special and unique. Just like everyone else.
1. You know in your heart that Yale is better, but you got rejected
2. You don't care about rankings, but FUUUCKKK USNWR (#3?!)
3. You meet classmates at a bar in Boston but don't know it b/c you tell one another that you go to school "outside Boston" or "in Cambridge" (just say the name of the damn school...)
1. No matter what you do, no one seems to think you're equal to H or Y
2. Palo Alto is wayyyy too expensive for what it is
3. You have a sneaking suspicion that people/schools/firms on the East Coast are talking behind your back
1. Morningside Heights was printed in grayscale
2. You are "Harvard Light" and you know it
3. Those uppity NYU bastards are tied with you in USNWR - whatever happened to Ivy prestige?
1. You would have gone to CLS if you had gotten off that mystical "reserve" list
2. The fire alarm in D'Agostino goes off every day b/c your crazy liberal classmates are lighting their bras/incense/bowls at all times.
3. Your kidney hurts from all the drinking you do in the Village ("at least we have the village..."). Note: you only have one kidney b/c you sold the other to afford life in GV.
1. You take consolation from your HYS rejection in your school's rigor. mortis.
2. Your library is hideous, but it stays as long as the St. Louis Arch still stands
3. Everyone obsesses about grades, but no one knows what they mean.
1. Philly sucks. That is all.
2. USNWR is your saving grace b/c you know that Mich/UVa/Boalt have better reps and are probably better overall
3. You give up and decide to ride the Joe Pa prestige. If you can't beat em, join em...
1. Schizophrenic culture: East Coast or South?
2. On a nice sunny day, your retinas are burned by intense sunlight reflecting off of the yellow and pink popped collar polos
3. UG sorostitutes are hot, but carry more diseases than you'd like to count.
1. Do not turn left. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Thank you for playing "Michigan Left: Or How to Pass Your Destination Only to Have to Make a Damn U-Turn to Get Where You Want"
2. UG population is pretty. ugly
3. HYM? Those were the days...
1. Your school is pissing away its historical reputation with silly admissions/administrative decisions
2. The student to your left looks like her face caught on fire and she tried to put it out with a fork.
3. The student to your right got extra time on the LSAT to get that 161.
1. Honorable alumns include: Nixon, Tucker Max, Claude Allen. Wonderful
2. Your school is now known for lacrosse more than basketball. #1 in RAPELAW!
3. You secretly spend weekends in Chapel Hill b/c the UG population at your school makes your eyes bleed (and they have the audacity to claim that they are hot *&^%)
1. Your classmates keep telling you how the commute to the school was nothing compared to 20 years ago: "Back in my day, I had to walk through 5 ft of snow, barefoot, uphill both ways..."
2. Your library looks out to Lake Michigan. You look down to 500 pgs of Con Law reading. Enjoy the view.
3. The administration secretly wishes it could call it the "Kellogg School of Law"
1. The only thing colder than the weather is the student body
2. Play the Ivy Card - but once it's played, it moves to the bottom of the deck. It'll be awhile before it will work again
3. Because of your location in Bumblefuck, NY, small class size, and ranking at the bottom of the T14, everyone seems to forget about you.
1. Laypeople are awed by your Georgetown prestige. You feel guilty. -1 for your karma count.
2. WTF is a "Law Center"? Your law "school" isn't even located in the center of anything.
3. GREAT Alumni network! Now only if you were able to actually get to know any of your 10,000 classmates...