THE MOST OFFICIAL LIST:
2. Doesn't impress people nearly as much as you thought it would ("It's ranked #1. Even above Harvard.")
3. Connecticut battles with Delaware for the most irrelevant state on the NE Corridor.
1. Colder than a caribou's nutsack
2. "I actually wanted to go here instead of Yale"
3. Way too prestigious, your head might explode
1. Having to explain how it's actually just as prestigious as Harvard or Yale
2. Motherf*ckin' East Coast 4 Life, Biyatch!
3. "Instead of sending a hold letter or a waitlist or rejection or something, maybe we'll just not say sh*t and assume they'll get the point."
1. Hey guys, in case you didn't notice, you're in New York City!
2. Having to sign and send in the "Agreement to go into BigLaw" contract with your tuition deposit
3. "I actually wanted to go here instead of Harvard"
1. "Why did you go there instead of Columbia?"
2. "I want to study International Law. Or Entertainment Law." Yeah, and I want to study Oral Sex Law.
3. "No actually it's ranked #4. Yeah, right behind Harvard. It's really prestigious."
1. "Hahaha! What? Oh, that? It's called laughter. Just having fun. F-U-N. It's a noun. It means..."
2. Nerdiest nerds in the city of Nerdville
3. Becoming dependent on Prozac and Adderall
1. Joe Pa probably doesn't have many years left in him (stolen from Pancho, it's too perfect)
2. If NYC is your successful father, Philly is your uncouth crackhead failure of an uncle
3. "I actually wanted to go here instead of Columbia"
1. Not white? Not preppy? Not an a**hole? Tough sh*t.
2. Don't like what tiny Charlottesville has to offer? Tough sh*t.
3. Possibly 2nd most obnoxious undergrads (Newsflash: You aren't "Ivy-caliber", "Southern Ivy" or "Public Ivy", you're "Ivy rejects")
1. Knowing if you were there 20 years ago, you'd be in a top-3 school.
2. No, seriously. This isn't funny. Windchill is negative what?!?
3. Who the f*ck is trying to move to Michigan?
1. "I actually wanted to go here instead of Stanford. Stanford sucks, dude."
2. That garbage "Go hyphy, go stupid, go retarded" slang and music
3. "University of California does not care about black people"
1. Worst undergraduate population ever (Highest "Do*chebag Rating" in US News)
2. Lacrosse team is having a down season
3. Coack K (aka Ratface), Redick, Laettner, Ferry, Collins, Wojo, etc., etc.
1. Kellogg's b*tch
2. Those winter winds are more oppressive than Mussolini
3. Ivy League athletics, Big Ten conference
1. Literally located in the worst place in the western hemisphere
2. The sky only varies between shades of gray
3. The butt of the Ivy League
1. Admitting to a layperson that it isn't quite that prestigious. "No, it's not really in the top 10, but it's in the top 14!"
2. "Hold up, it takes how long to get to the real Georgetown area?"
3. "I actually wanted to go here instead of [every other T-14]"