Non-Traditional Financial Decision

[queencruella]

I think it's best to buy what you can afford right now.  It's definitely not a wise idea to go all out on the ring or the wedding right now, but there's nothing that says you can't upgrade the ring later or have a small ceremony now and renew your vows in a bigger ceremony once you can better afford it. I have one friend who had a tiny ceremony when he got married and gave his wife a small pendant, but 4 or 5 years later gave her a nice ring. 

[UGAfootballfanatic]

whether or not you agree with upndown's statement (which I happen to think makes some real sense) this is an anonymous internet chat board, and I believe posting a new message pretty much obligates you to comments from the peanut gallery. comes with the territory, folks.

[SkullTatt]

STRAIGHT PEOPLE !!!

I think what the OP should do depends on the girl. She may be charmed by a "no ring" romantic proposal scenario. Or she may be embarrassed or mortified in front of friends or family to have no ring, or even a ring that's not big enough. I have a friend who just got a big rock from her BF, and they seem to be getting married for reasons similar to what another poster brought up -- all her friends are doing it. I think in that competitive type of situation, rock size matters.

Two more cents, I think many (if not most) women if presented a ring that was a little too expensive, would protest about the cost, but they would secretly be thrilled. I think it is an investment that would pay off.

[slp]

The previous poster is right, it does depend on the girl.  For me, i didnt care a whole lot, but ask some of my friends and some of my relatives and u get a whole different story.  In some ways it is like buying a hose or a car.  for some, they arent satisfied unless it is a new Mercedes and for others, it could be a used Hyundai.   What is traditional in your family and in your circle has some bearing on your decision as well. 
To the OP, what have u decided?  Or have u become even more confused:)

[plaintext]

Here's an interesting topic.  Say 1.5 years into law school it's time to "pop the question."  If you don't know what "the question" is, then this probably isn't a good topic for you to chime in on.  I believe the "suggested" amount is about two months salary.  Now as a grad student do I consider two months salary for what I was making before graduate school, two months salary of what I'm expecting to make when I graduate, or maybe buy something small and simple with the promise that once I have the first paycheck we'll go together to buy something.  There's a big part of me that doesn't like that last choice and would rather take a loan out to buy "the ring."  What do you guys think?

This clearly falls within the Statute of Frauds.  After you're down on your knee and before the ring is transferred, make sure she signs the dotted line.

My advice is to get a ring for under $500 and a marriage date less than a year.

[dbk10]

Also, perhaps I wasn't explicit enough in my original post, but the plan is to get engaged during law school so that I can marry after I graduate, not while still in school.  My girlfriend is a sentimental person and she would want to keep whatever I gave her during a proposal.  She is traditional when it comes to something like this and a ring is what she would want versus some other type of token; she would want to be able to signify a traditional engagement in some way.  Therefore, I am thinking of going in possibly one of two routes: to either go all out and go for the perfect ring or to get the perfect band and setting with the plan of replacing whatever I put in there with something better down the road.  I think my father has already figured this out as on the phone the other day he made a comment, "you would say something to me before going ring shopping, right?"  That complicates the situation because I have a feeling that both my family and hers would expect a nice ring.  And I believe that the ring needs to come from me, not from someone else offering to provide funds for it.

I appreciate everyones' feedback.  Thanks!

[plaintext]

dude.. wtf.. you're talking about 1.5 years from now!

the only thing worthy of consideration that far in advance is the bachelor party 

[dbk10]

dude.. wtf.. you're talking about 1.5 years from now!

the only thing worthy of consideration that far in advance is the bachelor party 

Ha ha ha, I have 4 of those to go to this summer, so I am not  quite concerned with mine yet.  I know she's the one, but I don't want to have a 3 year engagement that's why I'm thinking about this now, but not going to do anything for a little bit.  Now that I've filled out my FAFSA, and learned of my EFC, I probably should have bought the ring now, left it in a safe deposit box for a year, and then correct my FAFSA with updates to my savings.

[UGAfootballfanatic]

I agree that engagements should be short. If that person is the one, then wait long enough to plan the wedding and get it over with before you kill each other during engagement (my hubby and I fought more while we were engaged than we ever did before or after; it's a stressful time, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise). We planned for around 8 or 9 months from engagement in early May to wedding in late February.

[slp]

Thanks for the defense lincolnsgrandson, but I didn't put much stock into upNdown's comment as I am a card carrying member of the real world and actually have 6 figures in my savings account (not including my IRAs and 401K). 

OP, Knowing the info that u do have money in the bank, the info regarding what ure family and her family are probably expecting, and the info u provided on your girlfriend, it is easier to give  u better feedback.  In your unique situation, it sounds to me that you will probably want to buy the real ring u want her to have, not a smaller one or something to upgrade later.  i was under the impression that you were surviving on loans for law school because u had to and taking a loan out through some chain store with high interest rates,etc. while in school  was not the best idea.  If you ahve the money in savings, get what u want to get her. Just curious,  if u do have $$$ in ure savings already, then why are you even concerned  about this?  I mean, in my husband's situation, we were both in school and depending solely on loans for school and living expenses with no other financial cushion at the time.  There was no option but to get something small or just wait.  Your situation is different.  You have the money, it won't put u in a financial bind,  and you have plenty of time on ure side to get the ring.  Get her what you want to get her (the big rock) and enjoy life:)