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Author Topic: Non-Traditional Financial Decision  (Read 3044 times)

dbk10

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Non-Traditional Financial Decision
« on: February 14, 2006, 02:44:07 PM »
Here's an interesting topic.  Say 1.5 years into law school it's time to "pop the question."  If you don't know what "the question" is, then this probably isn't a good topic for you to chime in on.  I believe the "suggested" amount is about two months salary.  Now as a grad student do I consider two months salary for what I was making before graduate school, two months salary of what I'm expecting to make when I graduate, or maybe buy something small and simple with the promise that once I have the first paycheck we'll go together to buy something.  There's a big part of me that doesn't like that last choice and would rather take a loan out to buy "the ring."  What do you guys think?

jvan2619

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Re: Non-Traditional Financial Decision
« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2006, 02:52:36 PM »
Here's my take...take it for what it is worth since I'm a girl :)

When my husband was buying my ring, his Father gave him what I consider the best advice ever...a ring is not an "investment".  Spend whatever you possibly can because is you average it out on a per-day basis, it is nothing.  Think how much you spend on clothes, haricuts, etc...well, a ring is something that she will always be wearing. Always!

GO FOR BROKE!
 ;)

thenextstep

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Re: Non-Traditional Financial Decision
« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2006, 03:34:59 PM »
I think it's worth talking to your prospective ring-wearer about what she likes (I assume she, could be wanting to buy a ring for a guy I suppose).  Anyway, you might be surprised at the cost (in a wow too high or wow lower than I thought way) of what she wants - which helps you plan.  Also, she may not want a diamond ring, which would really change your money considerations.  Just food for thought.  But I would really not spend much on the ring - do what is financially reasonable at the time.  But I am also perhaps an atypical girl... I think my ring is too big, too expensive and it was pretty cheap by engagement ring standards.  Also shop around and tell stores that you are - I had a friend get a ring for about half the price by bargaining with the sales people of two stores.

Phatmal

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Re: Non-Traditional Financial Decision
« Reply #3 on: February 14, 2006, 04:08:51 PM »
My brother gave his wife a family heirloom....

I've seen women wearing all sizes of wedding rings with the same level of pride.  It's not the "size" that matters IMO.  I don't even have an engagement ring (but there were only 5 days between engagement and marriage (no one was pregnant  :P) so I'm not the typical example).  If you can't afford or don't want to buy the big ring, then get creative with the way you ask her.  Show that you've put some time into it and that it really mattered to you.

dbk10

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Re: Non-Traditional Financial Decision
« Reply #4 on: February 14, 2006, 05:15:05 PM »
I actually have a jeweler I would use, that's not the problem.  I was more curious about what others' thoughts were on the whole proposing while in grad school.  It sounds as though people suggest to just go all out when I'm ready and not to do a little token while in school with the promise of something else later.

Thanks all.

UGAfootballfanatic

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Re: Non-Traditional Financial Decision
« Reply #5 on: February 14, 2006, 05:33:01 PM »
I also say skip the 2 months salary consideration. Depending on your budget you can be flexible with diamond size and adjust your budget by quality. Also, consider what line of work your wife will be in, and that if you decide to do biglaw you might need to "upgrade" her ring. In the long run, it will be a status symbol that people in biglaw would judge you on. Painful and materialistic? yes. but true. If you status won't matter, get her whatever you want to. One carat is a nice round number... My husband bought me a ring well below 2 months salary btw, and I love it.

thenextstep

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Re: Non-Traditional Financial Decision
« Reply #6 on: February 14, 2006, 05:43:07 PM »
I'd like to just say that proposing when you are ready to get married is the key - the ring is secondary.

cayberr

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Re: Non-Traditional Financial Decision
« Reply #7 on: February 14, 2006, 05:46:11 PM »
I actually have a jeweler I would use, that's not the problem.  I was more curious about what others' thoughts were on the whole proposing while in grad school.  It sounds as though people suggest to just go all out when I'm ready and not to do a little token while in school with the promise of something else later.

Thanks all.

The key is that you're completely ready.  Whether you're going all out or doing it in a small token manner, that takes a backseat to you being ready.

See what's more important to her, to be engaged sooner or have a bigger ring later?

FWIW, my SO and I are getting married, but we just don't know when.  He's in med school and I'm going to LS.  If we wait, I can surely have a fat rock and we can have an elaborate wedding, but I'm not really into all that.  I don't need $30k on my finger.  Now a down payment on a house, that I can drool over.  You can always get more baubles and trinkets for her right hand.  ;)


cayberr

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Re: Non-Traditional Financial Decision
« Reply #8 on: February 14, 2006, 05:47:54 PM »
I'd like to just say that proposing when you are ready to get married is the key - the ring is secondary.

Just what I wanted to say!  But you were quicker and to the point.  :D

dbk10

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Re: Non-Traditional Financial Decision
« Reply #9 on: February 14, 2006, 06:05:45 PM »
She's definitely not a showy person and would probably rather a lower key ring.  To go the heirloom route, I think my grandmother's ring would be too big for her finger and would look awkward and showy, thus I would want to buy something new.  Plus, I think she'd want to have some say in the shape of the diamond.  She's currently getting her PhD and we would graduate at the same time if I started school next fall.  I don't see myself getting married while in school, but shortly after.  This would probably entail getting engaged while in law school.  And I think I am now leaning towards going all out up front as opposed to doing some sort of "promise ring" type of thing.  We'll be moving in together when I start graduate school.  And I've been thinking about this next step for about six months now, but I feel like I just don't know what will happen/change with the whole moving in together and the whole grad school thing so I just assumed I wouldn't be buying the ring until after 1L.