I've become very pissed off at Cornell and was thinking about what I will do if I am finally accepted there. Cornellís status check page has said "Decision" since late December. I'm thinking if I am ever accepted I will send this series of letters to Cornell over a 6 week period.Week 1:Dear Cornell,I have received your admissions offer. Thank you for your offer. Please note that I have received many excellent offers this year and cannot accept all of them. Each offer will be looked at individually. I will send a letter when I have reached my decision.Again thank you for your interest in me as a student.MeWeek 2:Dear Cornell,It has come to my attention that your file is incomplete for the following reasons:You lack a scholarship offer.Please send the missing documents to me as soon as possible.Thank you,MeWeek 3:Dear Cornell,Your acceptance offer is now complete. Please understand that my decision making process can take up to 6 weeks from completion date. Please do not call and badger me.Thank you,MeWeek 4:Dear Cornell,I have reached a decision.MeWeek 5:Dear Cornell,I still have a decision. Please wait another week before I tell you what it is. MeWeek 6:Dear Cornell,I regret to inform you that I have accepted an offer elsewhere. Perhaps you should have included a better scholarship offer with your file. Please understand that half of my reason for applying to your school was to state that I had been accepted at an Ivy League law school.In the future try not to screw around with applications for 2 months for no reason at all.thank you,Me
Classical, I love it!