Allow me to give you some advice, and related experience. A friend of mine graduated law school with a wife and child. He went MCGeorge, and graduated with more than 120K in debt. He borrowed extra to live on. Federal loans will only cover 18.5k, so you will have to take a private student loan. Salliemae s/p?, etc, are willing to give them out to potential lawyers. So, live cheap, but make sure your child and wife eat.
As for me, I have 3 children, and obviously a wife. I am leaving the military and will have the GI bill which will be about 1300 a month, so that will give us a place to live, with a little left over for whatever. I will have to take private loans to cover school, but am hoping for needs based grants, etc. If not, I will get loans, and place them into savings immediately. If I use it, ok, if not, it will sit in my savings until I graduate, upon which I will pay them back. Also, some schools have loan repayment and assistance programs, to assist paying off student loans. You will have to work in a public service job, but they will pay off a lot of your loans.
You have to think about your family and insurance for them, etc. I am not sure about the insurance part, but if they don't have any, I am sure I don't need to tell you how much more financially ruined you may become, so, as the old saying goes, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Or, in the realm of law school, 10k in private loans is worth 100k in medical bills!
I was always told, since my youth, that I should make EXTREME sacrifices in order to gain an education. If that means I need to take out extra loans to do so, I MUST. Additionally, those EXTREME sacrifices must also include living as cheaply as possible in order to get out of school with the least amount of debt as possible.
To answer your questions...
1. YES, wife should always stay home with children! (personal opinion)
2. NEEDS BASED GRANTS--get your financial aid in as of YESTERDAY!!
3. I DON"T KNOW
4. GRANTS, SCHOLARSHIPS AND PRIVATE LOANS
GOOD LUCK, where are you looking at attending??