Law School Discussion

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Re: Something NEW! Hot White/Other? Men for the Sistas
« Reply #60 on: February 06, 2006, 01:27:05 PM »
That's how I feel...if a white guy happens to charm you (there are some of us that won't let that happen though- perhaps missing out but hey still a preference  :) )then let it be because of the man..and his traits... don't just seek him out because he's "Something new"

What's up with the "if this, then that" stuff.  Date who you wanna date and not because "they" are doing it.  And in the end, do we REALLY care?

Right. That's what I was saying earlier.  The "two wrongs make a right" argument is weak.  Just because one side is doing it does not justify the other side to join in the same bad conduct.

Do it because it makes you happy, or that is your preference or a million other reasons, but don't make the argument, well I can date white men because black men date white women.  That is not a sound argument.

Muse

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Re: Something NEW! Hot White/Other? Men for the Sistas
« Reply #61 on: February 06, 2006, 01:28:50 PM »
At the end of the day, I think men and women alike just wants someone to love, respect, and appreciate them.

In the movie Something New, the white dude appreciate the neurotic black woman.

petitschoque

Re: Something NEW! Hot White/Other? Men for the Sistas
« Reply #62 on: February 06, 2006, 01:31:06 PM »
last point. The fact that there are good black men out there should not be a factor when deciding to date white men. If you prefer white men, or if your white and you prefer black men etc... it shouldn't matter. The thought that you should give our own race preference is just insecurity creeping in. Why does it matter. Love and be with who you want. Race isn't so important. Its one facet that gets full billing, and we need to step back a bit and stop making it the king of the hill when defining our lives.
What a sweet way of looking at things :) I totally agree with you.

Burning Sands, Esq.

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Re: Something NEW! Hot White/Other? Men for the Sistas
« Reply #63 on: February 06, 2006, 01:41:52 PM »
I am Jack's complete lack of surprise. :-\

petitschoque

Re: Something NEW! Hot White/Other? Men for the Sistas
« Reply #64 on: February 06, 2006, 02:10:38 PM »
And what is stopping us, really?  Why must Black women cling to racialized definitions of love?
Probably because for some, that's the way love has been defined for them--racially--and they won't think past that. For others, maybe because they feel that they can't contribute fully to their race if they're not married to someone of the same race. People who make duty and obligation to external forces a significant parts of how they construct love will always find some way to hem themselves in out of what they 'owe' somebody else.

Re: Something NEW! Hot White/Other? Men for the Sistas
« Reply #65 on: February 06, 2006, 02:25:38 PM »
perhaps people aren't physically attracted to guys of other races though..

And what is stopping us, really?  Why must Black women cling to racialized definitions of love?
Probably because for some, that's the way love has been defined for them--racially--and they won't think past that. For others, maybe because they feel that they can't contribute fully to their race if they're not married to someone of the same race. People who make duty and obligation to external forces a significant parts of how they construct love will always find some way to hem themselves in out of what they 'owe' somebody else.

seu2002

Re: Something NEW! Hot White/Other? Men for the Sistas
« Reply #66 on: February 06, 2006, 02:47:28 PM »
ah i missed this entire discussion and have no time to go back and read it all.

all i know is that i will not marry a hispanic man.  after 4 years of making myself unavailable to them, i caved in and dated one in law school.  i was shocked to see that hispanic men, regardless of particular background (mexican, puerto rican, etc), geographic location, and educational background, are ALL the same.  macho, chauvinist assholes who feel that all women are inferior to them and made to serve the man.  ugh...  dont even get me started on that *&^%.   >:(

the 3L puerto rican from the bronx treated me the same way the mexican state investigator with only an undergrad degree from texas treated me.  they're all the same *&^%.  i refuse to date them again. 

i'm open to dating men of all other races.  i've dated only one black man in my life and i was never happier.  it's a shame that the relationship ended, but it is bc of him that i am so partial to black men.  eh, i gave my number to the white man 2 weeks ago and there's actually an asian man who caught my eye out here.  oh boy...


Muse

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Re: Something NEW! Hot White/Other? Men for the Sistas
« Reply #67 on: February 06, 2006, 04:10:49 PM »
ah i missed this entire discussion and have no time to go back and read it all.

all i know is that i will not marry a hispanic man.  after 4 years of making myself unavailable to them, i caved in and dated on in law school.  i was shocked to see that hispanic men, regardless of particular background (mexican, puerto rican, etc), geographic location, and educational background, they are ALL the same.  macho, chauvinisit assholes who feel that all women are inferior to them and made to serve the man.  ugh...  dont even get me started on that *&^%.   >:(

the 3L puerto rican from the bronx treated me the same way the mexican state investigator with only an undergrad degree from texas treated me.  they're all the same *&^%.  i refuse to date them again. 

i'm open to dating men of all other races.  i've dated only one black man in my life and i was never happier.  it's a shame that relationship ended, but it is bc of him that i am so partial to black men.  eh, i gave my number to the white man 2 weeks ago and there's actually an asian man who caught my eye out here.  oh boy...



WOW at this posts.  :o

I'm speechless. (For once right?) LOL

petitschoque

Re: Something NEW! Hot White/Other? Men for the Sistas
« Reply #68 on: February 06, 2006, 04:45:09 PM »
perhaps people aren't physically attracted to guys of other races though..
Oh of course. I wasn't including those who have an actual preference attraction-wise in my previous statements. I had in mind some that I have come across who don't really have an exclusive preference for their own race but will not act on their attraction to other groups for race-related reasons.

Re: Something NEW! Hot White/Other? Men for the Sistas
« Reply #69 on: February 06, 2006, 05:02:40 PM »
WOW HB...So here is my question to you, do you consider yourself a good man worthy of a good black women? If so why? Just a question....


Being that I have dated white guys before (nothing sexual though, there is a big difference...)and had really positive experiences with them. THey treated me with respect, appreciate my quirky habits, and valued my intellect. HOWEVER I had issues with the relationship becaues I worried about what my friends and family would think. Black men would give me the most horrific looks if they saw me walking down the street with a white man as if I sold out or something.  There are some legit white guys out ther who will treat any woman regardless of her race and economic background with love and respect. A large part of me believes that people are entitled to date and love who they want but at the same time there is the pressure from society to "Date your own". I know in Southern California interracial dating isn't that much of a big deal but once you leave the happy sunny state, it becomes a real issue. At the end of the day, I think a black women should be with the man who loves and respects her unconditionally. I'm not bashing all black men, becaues there are lot of great guys out there, but some of you  really don't appreciate a good black women when you meet her. Some of you play games, pull the pimp card, and DON'T COMMUNICATE.  I also noticed from some black men that just because they have a degree and make major bucks I'm suddenly supposed to compromise myself just because he is a rarity and I should be grateful for being with him.

At the end of the day I do prefer black men just because I'm more attracted to them. My father is a black man, a great father, and a wonderful human being. If I find someone fits that criteria, I'll marry him.

I'm more curious to see how the posters on the board who are biracial feel about interracial dating. I would think biracial kids will find it more acceptable considering that they wouldn't be here unless their parents of different races didn't get together.


Well, I definitely feel like I should respond to this thread as a biracial  woman in an interracial relationship.  In a perfect world, I think that people should be able to date whoever they want with no strings attached.  HOwever, we obviously live in a world with racism and ignorance, and these are factors that need to be understood in a historical context before considering the effects of interracial relationships.  I.e. white men need to know about and acknowledge white priveledge and the history of white men exoticizing black women.  I had never dated a white person before my current boyfriend, and I can say that I would never date a white man because black men aren'tgood enough.  If my white boyfriend didn't respect my natural hair or my intellect or my culture, he wouldn't be my boyfriend, plain and simple. At the end of the day, it is about who loves you, respects you, encourages you, and is more than willing to put themselves on the line for you.  When you have that, you have love, regardless of color.