Law School Discussion

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faith2005

Re: Something NEW! Hot White/Other? Men for the Sistas
« Reply #30 on: February 06, 2006, 11:58:55 AM »
oooh HB that hurt :'(   In my humble opinion, I think they would, as society gets more comfortable with the idea of it.  And they appreciate black women for who they are, minus the perms and the weaves (not knocking those who have them). 
I see you girls as being the problem. I know a gang of educated sistas who are smart, attractive, and down to earth, who don't have any problems finding good black men. Get the chip off your shoulder. Lose the attitude. Stop holding your ass so tight and then you will be able to have a conversation with a blak man for more than 5 minutes.

And this is why I have also started to think i should also open myself up to men who aren't black... ::)
 
i thought the movie was cute. the guy went out of his way for her, and thats why she ended up marrying him, not because he was white. if a man that i was attracted to and cared about went out of his way for me, I'd go out with him as well, whatever race he was. also, in my experience, there are plenty of women with horrible attitudes who I've seen plenty of black men fall all over themselves to be in relationships with, while passing over women who were positive, educated and sincere. maybe its black men who have their priorities screwed up.

crazy8

Re: Something NEW! Hot White/Other? Men for the Sistas
« Reply #31 on: February 06, 2006, 12:06:40 PM »
oooh HB that hurt :'(   In my humble opinion, I think they would, as society gets more comfortable with the idea of it.  And they appreciate black women for who they are, minus the perms and the weaves (not knocking those who have them). 

That's so much BS. "they appreciate black women for who they are". I mean, I can't believe the amount of sh*t I hear on this board sometimes. I'm trying to be a good HBCU.EDU but you guys are making me want to pimp slap you. Listen.....if you want to have sex with white men I say go for it! Be my guest. But, don't go out and get into a relationship with a with man because "black men this and black men that and black men don't do this and black men don't do that." I mean, if you are that naive to think that white men are going to treat you better then you guys are in for a sad sad experience.

I've got news for you women. A good MAN is hard to find. Period. A white man will beat your ass and cheat on you just as quick as a black man will. They don't do anything better than us. Besides, white men are not attracted to black women like that anyway. They don't want to put a ring on your finger. You guys are lifting them up and washing their b*lls but at the end of the day, they don't want to make you their wife. Seriously, why would a "hot" white man marry a black woman when he could have a hot white girl, or asian, or indian, etc. ?

I see you girls as being the problem. I know a gang of educated sistas who are smart, attractive, and down to earth, who don't have any problems finding good black men. Get the chip off your shoulder. Lose the attitude. Stop holding your ass so tight and then you will be able to have a conversation with a blak man for more than 5 minutes.

Right, and black men are lined up around the block to marry black women, which is why 40something odd percent of black women have never been married. Whatever. And I'm glad you can speak for what white men are attracted to, being that you are one, correct?  ::) Furthermore, YOU are making it pretty explicit that YOU consider Black women to be at the bottom of the totem pole - "why would a "hot" white man marry a black woman when he could have a hot white girl, or asian, or indian, etc." Maybe because they don't consider black women to be inferior to the races of women you just named. But its pretty obvious that you think that.


Your response was very simplistic and crass and I would hope that given ppl's respect for you on this board, that you would have come with something better HBCU. I want to give you the benefit of the doubt and say that your main point - which is that white men may have less than sincere reasons to date black women - is a very valid point. However, that mere suspicion is not worth Black women cutting off that potential option. Especially given that BLACK men are no less prone to only having a sexual interest in black women. As you put it so eloquently, good men are hard to find regardless of color.  No one here is under any illusion that white men are some kind of holy grail and the cure to Black women's problems. All that is being said is it would do sisters some good to expand our horizons.


OMG...I was only gone for an hour! ::)  Sounds like this has gotten personal.  I brought this topic up yesterday just because I watched the movie.  This was only suppose to be a friendly, light-hearted conversation of thoughts (I talk a good game, but to date I'm yet to date a white guy).  Maybe we need to bury this thread before it spirals out of control.  It was fun while it lasted!! :'(  Valentine, I defer to you since you are the creater of the thread.

MorehouseMan

Re: Something NEW! Hot White/Other? Men for the Sistas
« Reply #32 on: February 06, 2006, 12:11:43 PM »
Whatever. The post on this thread state specifically that white men do this, that and the other better than black men. Whit men "step correct". You guys co-sign that and look at me like I'm crazy? All I'm saying is that if you want to date a white man go for it. But, don't do it because black men are below white men. It's you guys who are saying that black men are at the bottom. Whatever. I'm done....no need to argue with a black woman anyway. Especially when she is talking about why she wants to date white guys. I say date all of the white men you want. 9 times out of 10 you guys are not the kind of black woman that black man wants anyway. I guess you got to do what you got to do when you are not good enough for a black man anyway. Thank you and goodnight.

crazy8

Re: Something NEW! Hot White/Other? Men for the Sistas
« Reply #33 on: February 06, 2006, 12:14:26 PM »
I'm done....no need to argue with a black woman anyway. Especially when she is talking about why she wants to date white guys. I say date all of the white men you want. 9 times out of 10 you guys are not the kind of black woman that black man wants anyway. I guess you got to do what you got to do when you are not good enough for a black man anyway. Thank you and goodnight.

WOW :o ::) :-X

Burning Sands, Esq.

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Re: Something NEW! Hot White/Other? Men for the Sistas
« Reply #34 on: February 06, 2006, 12:22:03 PM »
Wow is right.

My first thought upon seeing the subject matter of this thread was "oh lord ::)  Sistas done made a thread dedicated to the white man."  lol

Now I see the arguments being presented by both sides and I'm actually curious to hear the ladies' perspective on this one.

I had a good long debate with one of my best female friends (a sister) who saw this movie and agrees whole heartedly with the proposition that love is blind and we should all be able to date and marry whoever we want, regardless of race.  Which it sounds like is one of the main underlying propositions being offered by the movie and by this thread's debate.

On the other hand, I am conflicted because I can't quite get past the notion that there is a duty to culture that exists that you, more or less, breach when you date & marry outside your culture.  Ladies, I'm curious to hear how you reconcile this propositon with the proposition that you can date whoever you want.


faith2005

Re: Something NEW! Hot White/Other? Men for the Sistas
« Reply #35 on: February 06, 2006, 12:26:54 PM »
wow is right crazy8...don't respond...it does no good.

yeah sands--i believe that there is a responsibility to your culture. i've never really dated outside of my race so i can't speak to the conflict one would feel if you do. one of my closest male friends is a half-white (but looks totally white) guy who almost exclusively dates women of color and we've talked about this issue before. his opinion is that him and his s.o. would have to discuss and hash out issues of privilege and whiteness etc. in order to make sure that neither one feels like they're leaving behind their culture or anything like taht.

Re: Something NEW! Hot White/Other? Men for the Sistas
« Reply #36 on: February 06, 2006, 12:29:26 PM »
hmm a level head..

I don't think that there should be an unwritten rule that blacks should only date blacks...however I do feel that one should desire to date/marry someone of their likeness... I'm not going to say that a white man cannot be good to a black woman... but regardless of what we say about love being blind.. and 'he loves me for me" etc etc...there will always be some matters that the white man cannot relate to that a black man can...

and regardless of there being some bad apples in the mix... I'll never turn my back on the brothas... I just refuse to let a few guys taint my view.. especially when I have a strong relationship with my father...

Wow is right.

My first thought upon seeing the subject matter of this thread was "oh lord ::)  Sistas done made a thread dedicated to the white man."  lol

Now I see the arguments being presented by both sides and I'm actually curious to hear the ladies' perspective on this one.

I had a good long debate with one of my best female friends (a sister) who saw this movie and agrees whole heartedly with the proposition that love is blind and we should all be able to date and marry whoever we want, regardless of race.  Which it sounds like is one of the main underlying propositions being offered by the movie and by this thread's debate.

On the other hand, I am conflicted because I can't quite get past the notion that there is a duty to culture that exists that you, more or less, breach when you date & marry outside your culture.  Ladies, I'm curious to hear how you reconcile this propositon with the proposition that you can date whoever you want.



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Re: Something NEW! Hot White/Other? Men for the Sistas
« Reply #37 on: February 06, 2006, 12:37:01 PM »
WOW HB...So here is my question to you, do you consider yourself a good man worthy of a good black women? If so why? Just a question....


Being that I have dated white guys before (nothing sexual though, there is a big difference...)and had really positive experiences with them. THey treated me with respect, appreciate my quirky habits, and valued my intellect. HOWEVER I had issues with the relationship becaues I worried about what my friends and family would think. Black men would give me the most horrific looks if they saw me walking down the street with a white man as if I sold out or something.  There are some legit white guys out ther who will treat any woman regardless of her race and economic background with love and respect. A large part of me believes that people are entitled to date and love who they want but at the same time there is the pressure from society to "Date your own". I know in Southern California interracial dating isn't that much of a big deal but once you leave the happy sunny state, it becomes a real issue. At the end of the day, I think a black women should be with the man who loves and respects her unconditionally. I'm not bashing all black men, becaues there are lot of great guys out there, but some of you  really don't appreciate a good black women when you meet her. Some of you play games, pull the pimp card, and DON'T COMMUNICATE.  I also noticed from some black men that just because they have a degree and make major bucks I'm suddenly supposed to compromise myself just because he is a rarity and I should be grateful for being with him.

At the end of the day I do prefer black men just because I'm more attracted to them. My father is a black man, a great father, and a wonderful human being. If I find someone fits that criteria, I'll marry him.

I'm more curious to see how the posters on the board who are biracial feel about interracial dating. I would think biracial kids will find it more acceptable considering that they wouldn't be here unless their parents of different races didn't get together.

crazy8

Re: Something NEW! Hot White/Other? Men for the Sistas
« Reply #38 on: February 06, 2006, 12:44:00 PM »
Sands:

When I picture my future SO an image of a dark skin (or light skin) brotha comes to mind. I do intend on finding a strong black man one day (may sound contradictory to what I said previously) but if it doesn't happen that way, I'm going to be more open to it.  

I do believe there is a duty to culture, but if I have a white guy who is willing to give me the things I need to be happy, I don't think I'll turn him down just so I can keep myself available for when the right black man comes along.

I would love to raise that strong black family with two powerful black parents, raising some well-to-do confident kids, but if it doesn't turn out that way, I'm okay with that.

Blk:

I have to disagree with you on this one.  I still believe there are quality men (of all races) out there (a few of my blk male friends are doing the damn thang), and I'm happy that you had a great male role model to look up to.  Unfortunately, not all of us did, and that could play a role in one's perspective.  But I'm not turning my back on the brothas, all I'm trying to say is I'm not turning my back on happinness no matter which shade it comes in. I don't need my man to have to relate to every situation I go through, I just need him to be there for me and support me in whichever way he can.  

disclaimer: Now I'm talking all this now, but maybe if/when I date a guy outside of my race, I may come back and post something of the contrary.

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Re: Something NEW! Hot White/Other? Men for the Sistas
« Reply #39 on: February 06, 2006, 12:53:52 PM »
Here is a question to the guys lurking on the board.

What is your definition of a good black man? Hell a good man PERIOD?