Snarky Haiku? Fukyu!

[Burhop]

Pretty much what the title says. Here's a place to flex those latent poetic muscles and vent all in one. Write a 'fukyu' about what ails ya. Same 'laws' as haiku (well, anglicized anyways): 5-7-5 syllables.

Here are some samples borrowed from my poetry brethren at PFFA to get the ball rolling:

I could write better
poetry than you if I
pithed my own brain stem


My speling isn't
bad, you fat facist mouron,
it's inovative.


if I ever write
as badly as you I have
friends who will kill me


Definitely is
spelled with an i not an a
you ignorant ass.


my purple-winged words
soar beyond your fatal grasp,
poetry nazis


It's not a typo:
"kepe writting" means "please post more"
in Klingon, stupid.


You worry easy.
Consider the birds, how they
aim sh*t like snowflakes.


So you can’t get laid.
Camilla Parker Bowles can.
It’s your fault, not hers.


it's content that counts,
you Thalassophiliac
slack-jawed buckethead


Your math is flawless
but we have this tradition
to skin nerds alive.


Shamans? Mushrooms? Please.
Sham hippie profundity
purchased by the bag.


unmitigated
circumlocution sounds good
next to your twaddle
__________

Here's my attempt at law-themed fukyu:

Oh, happy Yalie
Give the bragging a rest:
We all say fukyu

180 you say?
It's hard to believe that of
a big prick like you.


LSAT, you're killin'
me with those weird logic games--
diagrams, fukyu


Rejection letter
wallpaper--one more way to
recall that fukyu


ah, poetry...


~dani

[FossilJ]

I'd @#!* your mom if
she didn't smell like a damn
dumpster, that fat slut.

[FossilJ]

Harvard is for noobs.
X O X O H T H
Yale Law F T W!

[vegemitemama]

J, how many syllables does "W" have? In Texas it's two, "dub-ya." Is it only one for you saffies?

[vegemitemama]

Well I didn't know what it stood for.

[FossilJ]

it works if you actually say "for the win"

J- i hate your haiku.  i hate it with a passion. 

Bingo.

And you love it.  hahaha

[FossilJ]

Three-eight, one-eighty?
You have exactly no chance.
Cooley. HTH.

Hi, this is Toby.
I read your taunt and it blows.
No phone call for you!

Your f-ing dean's cert?
How about a f-ing search?
It's stickied, a-hole.

I started this thread
looking for new info, female dog!
(Click my LSN!)

Register and post.
And post and post and annoy.
Become Julie Fern.

Julie want to know
why such fine American
have such tiny male private part?

[Burhop]

heehee! SCOTUS fukyu:

O Harriet Miers
You are my hero, lady--
eyeliner and all

Scalia, my man
can I be your Liberal?
No, you say? Fukyu!

Ginsburg always pouts--
laugh meter? You lose! Times has
no sense of humor.

O'Connor--will she
retire? Yes no yes no
yes no yes no yes

Alito--so not
as hot as newbie John and
his perfect bald spot

[vegemitemama]

internet scrabble
proves that scotty is smarter
when i have no vowels.

i am not snarky
enough to write mean things
to other people.

i also am bad
with poetry writing
of any old sort.

but haiku wins o'er
iambic pentameter
'cause it's easier!

[vegemitemama]

on purpose! duh. sheesh. it's MEANT to be funny.

wait, let me rephrase:

On purpose, of course!
Why else point out I am bad?
It's meant to make laughs.