yeah, yeah, yeah

[chrisfield]

yeah

[futurejd20]

it's really good man congrats.

["Legapp" Stands for "Legal Application"]

I have to have my boss mail it tomorrow.  Is this a good letter?  My boss e-mailed me a copy to look over before he sends in the final draft.  I already have two academic references but am thinking about using this if I get put on any waitlists.  Thanks in advance for any comments

*A recent study showed that 85% of Americans could not tell you who won the Miss America competition last year, the recipients of the Oscars, or any Grammy winners. However, 97% could name their 5th grade teacher, their high school coach, or a community leader who had made a difference in their lives. All this goes to say that Chris Field is the kind of person that the 97% remembers.  In fact, I am one of the 97% that has been greatly influenced and inspired by this young man with a purpose and vision.*

This is confusing... the 85% stat isn't necessary.  Shorten to: "Many Americans are unable to remember last year's Oscar winners, but they will never forget a community leader who made a difference in their lives.  Chris Field is the kind of person they will remember, and am but one of the many who has been greatly influenced and inspired by this young man with a purpose and vision."

I have always been impressed by Chris’s public service to our community. Chris will graduate from Abilene Christian University with an extensive extracurricular background in service. I am in awe of his capability to be a leader and advocate for the children of our youth center.  I have been the Recreation Center Supervisor of the College Station Boys’ and Girls’ Club (Lincoln Center Branch) for more than eight years.  Through this time I have overseen more than 150 staff members, and Chris worked for me in the capacity of a recreation assistant for two of those years.  I would place Chris in the top five percent of all my employees for a number of reasons.  Chris *obviously* (omit--"obviously" tends to come off as condescending) distinguished himself as a staff member as someone who was professional, a team player, dependable, and innovative in his approach to serve our children and their families. He worked in many areas at the center and was very involved in our after-school tutorial program. All the children responded to Chris in positive ways in each of the capacities in which he worked.

I have also been able to observe his continued work with children from disadvantaged circumstances through his service as the director of an urban youth summer camp.  I have taken children to be campers at Camp of the Hills for the last five years.  During this time, I have seen Chris handle a job of great responsibility with both dignity and poise.  His work at the camp is yet another example of his commitment to serving the marginalized of our society.       

Certainly, I am careful in using the term role model to describe those who are selfless, caring, honest, compassionate, and above all, *servants* (strange word choice for a role model--wouldn't it be more like a "leader?"). I will say that Chris Field professes to do as much as he can, for as many as he can, for as long as he can. In my five year affiliation with Mr. Field, I have witnessed his development and emergence as a person of great character, distinction, and service to disenfranchised youth and adults of all ages.

Chris has always had a mission to serve those who are less fortunate. He often volunteered his personal time to expand opportunities not otherwise afforded to poverty stricken children and families.  I recall one Saturday when he took time from his busy schedule to take five middle school boys from the center to a high school football play-off game two hours away.  It was an act of compassion and friendship that those young boys will not soon forget.   *This is a great example; should be moved to the second paragraph*

Because he is humble in all his works, he will not mention that he participated in a public election as a City of College Station, Texas mayoral candidate at age 19. His platform was to make a difference in lives of people.  He did not win the election, but his platform has not changed. 

For the aforementioned reasons, I am both proud and honored to give the highest recommendation for Chris Field to xxxx.  Based upon his previous commitments to public service of all types, I have no doubt that Chris will be an attorney that is always most concerned with those who have the least.  Please contact me if I may be of further assistance in any way.

I know it's weird to edit a LOR, but if you're close to your boss, I'd ask him to clean up these few things so your accomplishments don't get buried.  Overall, it's quite nice. 

[chrisfield]

Ok, so the consensus is that this letter is worth sending in to supplement my two academic letters of recommendation?  Thanks a ton for your input by the way.

[SWM]

It's great in the sense that it is credible testimony to your impeccable character; however, I don't believe it gives the ADCOMS everything they are looking for.  In my experience, most schools list a set of qualities for the recommender to expound upon. Although there is a slight variance regarding exactly what the ADCOMS of the particular school are looking for, the jist is universal.  The University of Montana web page has a great example of such a list, and it is as follows:


  1. native intelligence (analytical powers, rigor of thought, critical faculty,
     reasoning ability);
  2. independence of thought (originality, imagination, creative intelligence);
  3. effectiveness of oral communication;
  4. effectiveness of written communication;
  5. industry and motivation (persistence, self-discipline, study techniques);
  6. judgment and maturity (conscientiousness, common sense); and,
  7. leadership ability.

While your recommendation does an outstanding job of adressing the qualities numbered 5,6, and 7, it seems to be neglecting the first 4.  Nevertheless, with the exception of minor proofreading points, I wouldn't change the recommendation at all; however, I would make sure to balance this recommendation with an "academically oriented" recommendation from a College Professor so that your portfolio, as a whole, addresses all of the aforementioned qualities of the set.  This way, your recommenders can "specialize" as oppossed to writing ineffective generic LOR's that attempt to address all aspects of your life.  HTH     

[chrisfield]

SWM-

Thanks for your reply.  As I mentioned earlier in the thread, I already have two other LOR that address my academic strengths.  Those were written by two of my college profs.  This is one that I wanted to specifically address my commitment to public service.  Thanks again for your comments.

[CoogEE]

Chris, that is a great LOR.  You should have no reservations about sending it in as is.

[SWM]

Oops, should have read your request before i dove into the meat.  Sorry.

[chrisfield]

thanks

[Typhoon Longwang]

I'd pull down the actual letter when you're done with the editing, some schools (if they saw it) might not appreciate knowing you edited your LORs.