You should lie.
Two F's will lower your overall GPA by as much as .3! That could be the difference between T2 and T3. Not to mention you will have to account for the totally bombed semester in an addendum which will only emphasize your irresponsibility and doom your entire application.
First you lie about the F's by omitting them.
Then you lie on your resume to account for the semester that you bailed out of school.
Then you lie to the bar.
Then you lie to cover up these lies and quickly resort to murder for hire if someone pesky reporter tries to expose you.