Yale 250 that got a kid in last year--critique it

[jg983]

Wow. I didn't think it was off the charts, but it's definitely not as bad as some are saying. Some of the comments reek of "it-would-crush-my-ego-to-admit-anyone-else-can-do-anything-right" insecurity. It's a little wierd to see someone call it "thesaurusy," and then proceed to use the words "palimpsestuous" and "banality."
It's not a Pulitzer piece, but it does OK within the constraints.

I was too harsh last night (I get excited when I've been drinking). The essay is just really pompous and silly. Ironically, my Yale 250 (which I won't post, for fear of responses like mine last night) was about how my writing style has changed from my days as a self-obsessed freshman columnist. My favorite line: "I sounded like an angry little girl with a big thesaurus."

[bloomich]

Wow. I didn't think it was off the charts, but it's definitely not as bad as some are saying. Some of the comments reek of "it-would-crush-my-ego-to-admit-anyone-else-can-do-anything-right" insecurity. It's a little wierd to see someone call it "thesaurusy," and then proceed to use the words "palimpsestuous" and "banality."
It's not a Pulitzer piece, but it does OK within the constraints.

I was too harsh last night (I get excited when I've been drinking). The essay is just really pompous and silly. Ironically, my Yale 250 (which I won't post, for fear of responses like mine last night) was about how my writing style has changed from my days as a self-obsessed freshman columnist. My favorite line: "I sounded like an angry little girl with a big thesaurus."

yea seriously...you'd have to have some thick skin to leave your 250 for the wolves...

[FossilJ]

Wow. I didn't think it was off the charts, but it's definitely not as bad as some are saying. Some of the comments reek of "it-would-crush-my-ego-to-admit-anyone-else-can-do-anything-right" insecurity. It's a little wierd to see someone call it "thesaurusy," and then proceed to use the words "palimpsestuous" and "banality."
It's not a Pulitzer piece, but it does OK within the constraints.

Is it?  Because I use those words frequently.  Also, "banality" is a pretty common word.  And "palimpsestuous" fit perfectly.

It's "theraususy" because banal themes are being window-dressed with big words to give them an inflated importance.  There's no specific "accuracy" involved, other than clever deception.  You think what he or she is saying is grand because the words are grand, rather than vice versa, which should, ideally, be the case.

Many people write better essays than I do.  It's not that difficult.  It doesn't bother me, either.  But this one is trash.  It doesn't even do OK within the constraints, and I told you why. 

[FossilJ]

Wow. I didn't think it was off the charts, but it's definitely not as bad as some are saying. Some of the comments reek of "it-would-crush-my-ego-to-admit-anyone-else-can-do-anything-right" insecurity. It's a little wierd to see someone call it "thesaurusy," and then proceed to use the words "palimpsestuous" and "banality."
It's not a Pulitzer piece, but it does OK within the constraints.

I was too harsh last night (I get excited when I've been drinking). The essay is just really pompous and silly. Ironically, my Yale 250 (which I won't post, for fear of responses like mine last night) was about how my writing style has changed from my days as a self-obsessed freshman columnist. My favorite line: "I sounded like an angry little girl with a big thesaurus."

 

I'm sticking to my guns here.  Writing samples like these anger me.  I'm so tired of regurgitated bull - I'm just as tired of it when I do it as I am when other people do it. 

I think redemption called the piece "vapid".  That's the perfect word, speaking of thesauruses.  hahaha

[Chitown]

The intro is a load of pseudo Pynchon-esque crap that I'd expect to hear out of Dennis Miller's retarded maw.  The rest is eloquent, but says little of significance or originality.

[Chitown]

This is the kind of original, ground-breaking philosophy my friends and I would come up with in college after taking some bong rips and watching Aussie Rules Football.

If you were a woman I would propose.

[Pythagoras]

You guys sure aren't shy with your opinions.  Perhaps, you can direct some of that brutal honesty my way?  I would like a critique of my 250 from someone who doesn't feel the need to be nice to me but I'd rather not post it for all the world to see.

Does anyone have 5 minutes of their time to spare?

[jg983]

I can read it too, if you want another set of eyes.

[FossilJ]

As will I, if you're still online.  I'm brutally honest, but I do think I'm fair. 

[FossilJ]

OMG IT SUX 2!!!!!


Actually, this one is pretty damn good.  I'll elucidate when I return to these parts.  This may be tonight, tomorrow, or the day after.  I do have reasons, though.