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Author Topic: Anyone planning on kids during law school?  (Read 9271 times)

Highway

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Re: Anyone planning on kids during law school?
« Reply #10 on: December 18, 2005, 12:08:35 PM »
Just remember that just because a woman CAN have children later in life doesn't mean it is a good idea.

My wife had our second daughter at age 37, and she was born with a genetic disorder (not Down's, but pretty bad). The geneticist said it was just a spontaneous genetic mutation. They aren't sure if my wife's age had anything to do with it or not, but when you get a kid with a 1 in 100,000 disorder, we can't help but wonder.

If you are planning to have a kid after 35, and you aren't absolutely pro-life, I would definitely suggest an amnio. At least you'll have a choice. We skipped the amnio and, although we love our daughter, life has been a living hell for the past few years (several doctor visits a month, special formula and foods, surgeries, sleepless nights, overwhelming anxiety, depression, etc.). Can you imagine trying to work crazy lawyer hours and deal with a sick child? Or even go to LS and deal with a sick child? It ain't easy, by far.

Thankfully, our first daughter is as healthy as can be.

As for having kids after you start working, the problem is that you may kill your chances of making partner. Sad as it is, I'm sure it happens. You may be forced to make a choice between the so-called "partner" track or the "mommy" track. If you don't plan to work BIGLAW, though, this may not be a problem.

lighteninghopkins

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Re: Anyone planning on kids during law school?
« Reply #11 on: December 19, 2005, 11:11:32 AM »
I have thought about this a lot, asked a lot of questions of those who have been through law achool, and in the past 11 months watched seven friends go through pregnancies from easy to ridiculously difficult.  The plan my fiance and I have is based on the idea that year three is light in terms of workload and the amount of time that you actually have to be in class. So, if our timing were impecable, I would have the baby during winter break of year three.  I figure that the toughest part of the pregnancy would be mostly during the summer before that when I wouldn't be taking classes anyways.  Of course, this assumes that a lot of things work out just right, but, if they don't, we'll deal with it.  I really feel that for professional women, there is no perfect time to be pregnant, and no perfect time to have a new born.  If you want it, you just have to do it, and adjust life to fit.  I have the added advantage of a supportive future husband and retired-with-nothing-to-do-but-babysit parents near by.  Oh, and I don't have to take the bar.  Every time I start to think it's nuts, I just think of all the single moms out there who work through their pregnancies on their own, take six weeks off to have their baby, and then go back to work.  It helps me get over myself.
LSAT: 168 UGPA: 3.78

ljl3y

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Re: Anyone planning on kids during law school?
« Reply #12 on: January 03, 2006, 11:41:35 AM »
CONGRATS!!!
173/2.97
5 yrs WE NY Law Firm
Non-trad (2 sons)
C'ville-bound!

IN: VIRGINIA (off the WL)!!! Wisconsin($), W&L($), Fordham PT, Richmond($, w/d), UIUC($$, w/d), Cardozo($$, w/d), Miami (w/d), Hastings($, w/d)
OUT:Chicago, NYU, Columbia
WL: Michigan, Emory, Fordham FT, W&M, UT Austin, Vandy

lincolnsgrandson

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Re: Anyone planning on kids during law school?
« Reply #13 on: January 03, 2006, 04:09:30 PM »
The law school has been pretty good about it.  I was able to reschedule an exam so I could attend my wife's sonogram.

pnkldy

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Re: Anyone planning on kids during law school?
« Reply #14 on: January 03, 2006, 04:36:25 PM »
I've been thinking about getting pregnant while in school; if I get to do big time law, it will only get harder, not easier. My girlfriend at Chicago says there is a little baby boom there (shes a 2L) ... but if the pregnancy is difficult, or parenthood is more difficult than I imagine: what are your options. Can you defer for a year medically? what happens to your job prospects, school loans, etc, if that occurs? Anybody know?


lincolnsgrandson

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Re: Anyone planning on kids during law school?
« Reply #15 on: January 04, 2006, 08:19:01 AM »
I know someone who deferred to have a baby, and now the baby is more than a year old and she has not gone back. She's single. 

lincolnsgrandson

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Re: Anyone planning on kids during law school?
« Reply #16 on: January 04, 2006, 08:21:41 AM »
Will there really be a perfectly convenient time?  You're entering 1L, then you're applying for jobs, then you take finals, study for the bar, begin your new job - a new career, you have to write a brief, try your first case, etc. etc.  I don't know about the rest of you, but my wife and I knew that there would always be something.  So we just let nature decide. 

LostMyMonkeys

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Re: Anyone planning on kids during law school?
« Reply #17 on: January 05, 2006, 03:08:22 PM »
I took a year leave of absence the first time I went to law school (not for pregnancy, but rather I was dealing with a divorce). I went back and made honor roll, and there were no issues with financial aid, etc.

As far as when to have kids, well, I am happily remarried and have a 2 year old and will be going back as an L1 starting next week.

It is going to be tough at times, mostly due to scheduleing issues (daycare pick ups and drop offs adn what not) in fact, I already had to beg my neighboor too pick up my son on monday which is my first day of orientation because my husband is getting called out of town suddenly. *&^% happens. You deal.
I have a VERY supportive husband who is willing to make some personal sacrifices to get me through school and I think that is a major key. It also hels that my son sleeps throught the night (has since he was 7 months old though), is starting to become more independent , etc. I am not a sleep deprived new mother of a colicky newborn. That helps.

I can't imagine going to school when I had a newborn, but I was raging to go back to work after 3 months, so its al relative to your situation. If you want to do it, do it, make it happen. Like has been stated, there is no perfect time.

Nice ass won't get you through your whole life. When you turn 30 you better have a personality

jvan2619

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Re: Anyone planning on kids during law school?
« Reply #18 on: January 16, 2006, 03:40:55 PM »
This is an interesting thread, and something that my husband and I have talked a great deal about.

I agree with the posters that said there will never be a "perfect" time to have children.  If you want them, have them whenever and you will figure it out.  We have a six month old right now.  I had a REALLY tough pregnancy during the first trimester.  I thought at the time that it would be a good thing because I had just quit a job and wasn't starting another for a few months.  Perfect right?  DEAD WRONG!  I found that when you have nothing to do, you truly do nothing.  I spent all day feeling ill and sleeping.  The day that I went back to work and had something else to focus on I felt fine.  Point of my story is that you'll make it work and sometimes being really busy helps.

We still think we want four children...not the best career move, but family is important to us.  We know that it will mean that we have to sacrifice other things, but it's worth it.  I probably won't make it to the top of a large law firm, but that is alright. 

One thing I did learn from being pregnant is that no matter how tough of a chick you were before, people suddenly think of you as a "Mom".  If you are "tough" then people think it's because you are hormonal (no joke, our CEO said this to me once).  If I could, we would have all of our children before I get out of law school so that I'm not looked upon like that, but we'll see!

Best of luck to you all! ;D

simaba

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Re: Anyone planning on kids during law school?
« Reply #19 on: January 17, 2006, 05:42:57 AM »
Yes, having a child in law school is possible.

Just remember one thing, nothing can prepare you for "parent's guilt.."  You can never do enough to feel like an adequate parent and if you toss that in to the equation going to law school just makes matters worse.

On the other hand, I have read about a few schools that are conducive to those wanting children.  Hey, if you want it badly enough you'll find a way to achieve all your dreams.

What really helps is having extended family around.  Trusting on just you and your spouse .... well, the two of you will need your rest.   ;)