Here's the one I wrote last year. Enjoy:Dear Admissions Committee:I recently received your letter of rejection for admittance in to the School of Law, and I was relieved to learn that you did not find me to be a qualified applicant. I am actually quite used to rejection. You should have seen me last night! Apparently cute girls only go for guys with a median GPA of 3.8 and an LSAT of 172. Or maybe that's you.The real reason I am writing you is to tell you that while most other students are rushing to their mailboxes to see if you guys sent them an update on their application status, I am actually going to check for my newest Netflix. I was extremely stoked to find a copy of I Heart Huckabees in my mailbox this week. Have you seen it? There's this dynamic duo of existential detectives that help various characters figure out the significance of their beings. Also, in the movie Jason Schwartzman almost makes it cool to have chest hair again, which I am pretty stoked about. Can chest hair count as a subjective factor in your admissions decisions? It should. I am totally 99th percentile material there.I also wanted to send you an update on my applicant profile. Since I last wrote, I retook the LSAT and improved my score by like a bagizillion points. Furthermore, I am currently gainfully employed in a variety of different positions. I deliver subpoenas as a bike messenger, which has given me an insider's view of the legal process and a newfound appreciation for traffic laws. I am a host and bouncer at a café, which has given me an opportunity to enforce the law. And finally, I work in a bakery, which probably has no relevance at all to any future legal career that I might have. Although, as a cake salesman, I have learned how to lie effectively, which I have heard might come in handy one day in the court rooms.For example, last night this guy came in and asked for a cake. He asked me to write "Happy Birthday Ed" on the cake. Simple enough. I'm pretty much an amateur in the world of cake-decorating but it would be unprofessional for me to tell people this, so I am basically living a lie. Usually I decorate the cake quickly, tape up the box and send people on their way. After I was done writing "Happy Birthday Ed" sloppily in cursive blue icing, I looked up and the man was staring at me like I had just scribbled in magic marker all over the upholstery of his living room furniture or something. I felt obliged to ask, "How does that look sir?". He said, "Honestly? I didn't want to tell you this earlier but I used to do this professionally." He was quite nice about it, but I felt like a moron. I gave him a free cookie for giving me his honest opinion. I asked him what he does now and he told me he was a writer.My point is, if this whole law school thing doesn't work out, there's other options.Sincerely,Me
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