Deciding Where to Go > Denials

Letters in Response to Rejection Letters

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alphabet_soup:
Dear Admissions Committee,

I was actually using a pseudonym instead of my real name when I applied to your school.  I am actually Paul (Insert Name of School Here) Connecticut, grandson of the founder of your school.  When I tell my dad what you did, he will tell my grandfather and he will have your head on a platter.  I plan to to give you two weeks to send my acceptance and at that time if I have not received your acceptance letter I will be having a long talk with my dad.

Thanks,

Paul, CT

tttt:
OMG, this thread is a riot! :D Thanks, guys. LSD rocks.

nukelaw:
I'm just thinking in advance...

Dear adcomm and friends,

I know we haven't talked much in a while. Our relationship ended pretty suddenly when you said I wasn't "qualified" to be in your presence. Those words hit me pretty hard and I reconsidered the whole law school thing.

You'll be happy to know I took your suggestion and didn't bother applying for admission anywhere else. Instead, I've taken my love of the law to a related field: journalism. I am now a researcher at U.S. News and World Report for their annual law school rankings. The tough thing about this job is that there's a lot of math involved. Sometimes I forget to carry over a 1 or move a decimal in the wrong direction. Heck, just the other day I was looking at your reputation surveys and I forgot if 1 or 5 was the highest score. I'll probably just put you somewhere in the middle to be safe.

Best regards,

Nukelaw

legalprincesa:

--- Quote from: CamJansen on December 11, 2005, 09:43:49 PM ---Here's the one I wrote last year. Enjoy:

Dear Admissions Committee:

I recently received your letter of rejection for admittance in to the School of Law, and I was relieved to learn that you did not find me to be a qualified applicant. I am actually quite used to rejection. You should have seen me last night! Apparently cute girls only go for guys with a median GPA of 3.8 and an LSAT of 172. Or maybe that's you.

The real reason I am writing you is to tell you that while most other students are rushing to their mailboxes to see if you guys sent them an update on their application status, I am actually going to check for my newest Netflix. I was extremely stoked to find a copy of I Heart Huckabees in my mailbox this week. Have you seen it? There's this dynamic duo of existential detectives that help various characters figure out the significance of their beings. Also, in the movie Jason Schwartzman almost makes it cool to have chest hair again, which I am pretty stoked about. Can chest hair count as a subjective factor in your admissions decisions? It should. I am totally 99th percentile material there.

I also wanted to send you an update on my applicant profile. Since I last wrote, I retook the LSAT and improved my score by like a bagizillion points. Furthermore, I am currently gainfully employed in a variety of different positions. I deliver subpoenas as a bike messenger, which has given me an insider's view of the legal process and a newfound appreciation for traffic laws. I am a host and bouncer at a café, which has given me an opportunity to enforce the law. And finally, I work in a bakery, which probably has no relevance at all to any future legal career that I might have. Although, as a cake salesman, I have learned how to lie effectively, which I have heard might come in handy one day in the court rooms.

For example, last night this guy came in and asked for a cake. He asked me to write "Happy Birthday Ed" on the cake. Simple enough. I'm pretty much an amateur in the world of cake-decorating but it would be unprofessional for me to tell people this, so I am basically living a lie. Usually I decorate the cake quickly, tape up the box and send people on their way. After I was done writing "Happy Birthday Ed" sloppily in cursive blue icing, I looked up and the man was staring at me like I had just scribbled in magic marker all over the upholstery of his living room furniture or something. I felt obliged to ask, "How does that look sir?". He said, "Honestly? I didn't want to tell you this earlier but I used to do this professionally." He was quite nice about it, but I felt like a moron. I gave him a free cookie for giving me his honest opinion. I asked him what he does now and he told me he was a writer.

My point is, if this whole law school thing doesn't work out, there's other options.

Sincerely,
Me

--- End quote ---

I read this while at work eating a salad at my desk.  I almost choked on a tomato I was laughing so hard.  Thank you for making my day! 

CamJansen:
That letter wasn't fiction, by the way.

Sorry bout the choking incident.

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