The fact that you applied to our Law School shows that you lack the judgement required for admittance.
In a rare unanimous decision, the Committe, having carefully reviewed your file, has decided that the utter naivete exemplified in your personal statement, your anemic numbers, your banal work history and your pathetic and belated attempts to demonstrate some commitment to voluntary service and extracurricular activities far outweigh the moderately positive impressions that your letters of recommendation may have painted.
Frankly, we don't believe that the recommenders were altogether honest in their descriptions of your suitability to study law at our School, and we are contemplating pursuing legal action against them.
Nevertheless, the Committee has, by a narrow majority, vote to wish you "Good Luck" with your applications to study law elsewhere. May we suggest Northwestern?