Great Law School1 Law School RoadBeutiful City, USAApril 1, 2005Dear --, I really wanted to admit you. Honestly. I could just tell by looking a your application that your LSAT isn't representative of your abilities, you didn't even need to include your brilliantly-worded addendum. And, let's face it, who doesn't party for their first three years of coolege? It's perfectly normal. That 3.7 you pulled in your final year is all that I really looked at. Unfortunately, the evil people at US NEws have us trapped by numbers, and when we pugged your stats into our computers, it dropped our ranking by 10 spots. Thus, this is the hardest letter I'll have to write this year, but admitting you would cost this school millions. Nevertheless, I fought for you all the way to the Provost. I almost got fired! But that's how much I believed in you. In fact, I am so confindant that you'll have a great career that I included my home phone and AIM name at the bottom, sothat when you get rich and famous, I can tell people I was your friend. Make me proud, Dean ---P.S. Please, please apply for transfer admission next year! Those numbers don't count against our rankings! I might even be able to let you start your second year as a 1L, so you can ace all of your classes and make Law Review. That would be sweet. Phone: (555) 867-5309AIM: koolawguy
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