Dear [insert applicant name here],
A junior staff member has personally reviewed your application for admission into [Law School Name]. To be quite honest, he's the one that wrote this letter, and I've given him permission to sign my name to it.
Unforunately, we cannot offer you admission at this time, nor any time, nor to your children. That being said, even if we had 500 seats to fill and only 50 applicants, we still would not have selected you for admission.
Thanks for your application fee, and for needlessly wasting precious natural resources in sending your application.
Cordially,
[Dean's name]
Director of Admissions
P.S. Please kindly use the preaddressed envelope to mail $.39 to cover the cost of postage for this letter by December 31st.