Write your own rejection

[paratactical]

Dear Mr. xxxx,

When we review applications, we're looking for one that will draw a lot of water in the USNews. You don't draw sh*t, xxxxxx. Now we got a nice, quiet little law community here, and I aim to keep it nice and quiet. So let me make something plain. I don't like you sucking around, bothering our citizens, xxxxx. I don't like your jerk-off name. I don't like your jerk-off LSAT. I don't like your jerk-off PS, and I don't like you, jerk-off. Do I make myself clear?

-Dean Treehorn

[beeker]

Dear ____,

Thanks for making us laugh.  It's been a long admissions season.

$75 is a lot to spend on a joke but we appreciate it.  Best of luck at Cooley.

Sincerely,

Dean ____

[yongsoo]

To the sender at:

123 Going Nowhere St.
Podunk, State 456

You may have already received admission to OUR LAW SCHOOL! All you need to do is send us a copy of your bank statement and identification records. You could already possibly have admittance!

Sincerely,

D.ick Clark and EdMcMahon
Dean of Admissions
At fill in the blank Law School

[ApesAMB]

Dear Applicant,

  After reading your application, we would like to clear something up for you.  This is the University of Michigan.  I think you were looking for Michigan State.  Don't worry, lots of people get this confused.  I know you worked really hard on this application, so I will forward it to them for you.  You might want to call them to see if they'd like an application fee, since we will definitely be keeping that.

  Sincerely,

    Dean of Admissions, UNIVERSITY OF Michigan