I can't believe these obnoxious Michigan students, who use the board not to share information, but to socialize (as pathetic as that is)
Dear Capt'n Morgan,First of all, we just want to say right off the bat that you are INCREDIBLE. The wry sense of humor and persuasive writing style you have demonstrated in your application are second only to your stellar numbers and breathtaking extracurriculars. The fact that you have managed to develop such a sparkling personality and stay focused on your studies while putting yourself through school by working 30 hours a week is more than slightly impressive. And the pictures we found while stalking you on Facebook and Myspace have convinced us that you are also hot as hell. All in all, we think you are, if you will pardon the expression, absolutely kickass. Unfortunately, we think you are overqualified for our law school. Only ugly, nerdy people study here. If we offered you admission, you would come to admitted students weekend and scare them all off. You are clearly brilliant, hot, and studly...and that combination is admittedly just a little bit too much for us to handle. Plus, you shot me down at the bar the other night when I offered to buy you a Coke. I was the bald guy in the light gray, ill-fitting suit sitting by the Pabst Blue Ribbon tap. I thought I had a chance, since I counted as you slung down SEVEN Anchor Steams in a row before I approached you, but you are apparently also a tank of a drinker...you were somehow impervious to my stinky old man charm. You are the perfect woman, and I wish you were coming here so that I could try my "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" bar pick up line again (but, lesson learned, I would wait for the tenth beer this time). It sucks, but you're just way too good for me...and for the shoddy establishment of a law school I represent. Oh, by the way, sorry for that status checker "decision" joke. We wanted to see how many days we could squish between changing your status and actually sending the letter before you actaully cracked. In keeping with your level of general awesomeness, you didn't give in. Perfect female dog. Enjoy Harvard.Best,Dean Fugly D. Umbass, III
Dear [applicant],On seven prior occasions we have denied your admission in writing. We now deny it for the eighth time. You must be stupid, stupid, stupid.Sincerely,Great Benefit Law School
PennyLane invented sweet. She has the patent on it. I tried to act sweet one time and she sued me.
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