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Author Topic: Write your own rejection  (Read 41274 times)

kmpnj

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #100 on: February 05, 2006, 05:10:14 PM »
Dear Applicant,

CONGRATULATIONS!  You are IN!

Dean Stock at Harvard forwarded your application to us and we absolutely agree that YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO SUCCEED as a second shift floor manager at one of our many nation-wide superstores!

We'll see you on March 1 at new employee orientation.  Save the date!

Sincerely,
S. Burke
Wal-Mart Recruiting

Awesome!!

ImNobody

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #101 on: February 09, 2006, 01:17:00 PM »
Really, how about instead of lying to me about how I am almost qualified enough to attend your school, you lie and tell me that at least all the money I keep sending you will go somewhere useful?
Like: Unfortunately, your bid for admission has been rejected. However, the proceeds from this year's application process will go towards solving world hunger and curing cancer. Thank you for making a (tax-deductible) difference!
Alternatively: Congratulations - you're a winner! Although you won't taking home a Harvard diploma in 2009, you are one of 8 lucky drawing prize winners to recieve this beautiful "I got rejected from Harvard...and look at me now!" size XXL T-shirt. Congratulations - at Harvard, there's no real losers!

Emolee

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #102 on: February 09, 2006, 01:39:03 PM »
Dear [applicant],
On seven prior occasions we have denied your admission in writing. We now deny it for the eighth time. You must be stupid, stupid, stupid.

Sincerely,
Great Benefit Law School

So bored waiting for apps to go complete and/or decisions that I am reading all of these from the beginning and I am laughing out loud at my desk like an insame person... but I had to reply to this one 'cause I was totally thinking this while reading the others!!  PS I love that movie :)  PPS  It's eighth AND FINAL time.  Yes, I'm a nerd.
wrestling over tiny matters: UCLA vs. Columbia

LSAT 173!  Thank you, God!

http://www.lawschoolnumbers.com/display.php?user=emolee

Emolee

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #103 on: February 09, 2006, 01:50:27 PM »
I JUST did this one like yesterday !!! How random.

I did the one from legally blonde, and noticed while I was doing it.  I'm a little ashamed to say it, but I actually have seen that movie enough to remember the LSAT practice game problem.

Don't feel bad... every time I teach that game in class, I say "And this is the one she is doing in Legally Blonde..."  Have to admit I love that movie! :)
wrestling over tiny matters: UCLA vs. Columbia

LSAT 173!  Thank you, God!

http://www.lawschoolnumbers.com/display.php?user=emolee

john83

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #104 on: February 09, 2006, 02:01:17 PM »
Dear Applicant,

I have good news for you! After reading your application for admission, I quickly forwarded it to all members of the committee so that they, too, could share in the hilarity of your feeble attempt for admission to our law school. The good news, you ask? Unlike the rest of the rejected applicants, which are thrown in the trash, yours has been framed and placed on the wall in the admissions office.

I'm giggling right now just thinking of your personal statment.


Sincerely,

Dean of Admissions

Skeptic

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #105 on: February 09, 2006, 08:53:10 PM »
Dear Applicant,


Sorry, No Dogs Allowed




Yours,
XXX Law School

alexdn

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #106 on: February 10, 2006, 10:29:04 AM »
From: Dean of Admissions, Gopher Gulch Law School
To: Alexdn
In Re Application of Alexdn

Petitioner Alexdn applied for admission, and defendant Law School filed a motion for dismissal on the grounds of laziness and no work experience.  The court denied defendant's motion and proceeded to the merits, but upon reviewing the full application granted summary judgement against petitioner. 

On appeal to the full admissions committee, petitioner argued that the initial evaluation of application failed to take into account petitioner's cool "intangible factors".  The appeals court, however, noted that petitioner's LSAT score and GPA were too low to qualify for further review of such factors, and thus that the lower court lacked jurisdiction to rule on the merits.  The judgement of the lower court was affirmed, and judgement was entered in favor of Law School. 

...in other words, f*ck off. 

Best Wishes,
Dean of Admissions
Decision made: Harvard Law School '09 (or '10 if I defer)

Happy_Weasel

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #107 on: February 11, 2006, 10:53:35 PM »
From: Dean of Admissions, Gopher Gulch Law School
To: Alexdn
In Re Application of Alexdn

Petitioner Alexdn applied for admission, and defendant Law School filed a motion for dismissal on the grounds of laziness and no work experience.  The court denied defendant's motion and proceeded to the merits, but upon reviewing the full application granted summary judgement against petitioner. 

On appeal to the full admissions committee, petitioner argued that the initial evaluation of application failed to take into account petitioner's cool "intangible factors".  The appeals court, however, noted that petitioner's LSAT score and GPA were too low to qualify for further review of such factors, and thus that the lower court lacked jurisdiction to rule on the merits.  The judgement of the lower court was affirmed, and judgement was entered in favor of Law School. 

...in other words, f*ck off. 

Best Wishes,
Dean of Admissions


AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!


Dear Applicant,

           Sorry, our school is too rich for your blood and it does not help

that you are a muggle. Woah! I'm kinda running out of ideas here. But

seriously, how you use it is imporant, but you haven't much to use! I mean,

think about it, a 10 inch cock doesn't neccesarily get you into porn, but a

4 inch cock sure the hell keeps you out. 

P.S. I like tacos.

P.S.S. I like tacos such much, that I  WILL  EXPLODE!! That happens to me some times.

P.S.S.S. Im tall.

P.S.S.S.S. Your mom is hot.

P.S.S.S.S.S. Whose your daddy?
                                                                          :-*
                                                              Dean Moldybutt
                                                              Holy Chuch Of
                                                              The Everlasting
                                                              Abortion
                                                              College of Law

Happy_Weasel

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #108 on: February 11, 2006, 11:00:28 PM »
Dear Applicant,

           US=============))    (((0 : ) Your Application

                                                              :-*
                                                          Dean Phuck Off

Happy_Weasel

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #109 on: March 05, 2006, 09:52:22 PM »
What happened to this thread?