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Author Topic: Write your own rejection  (Read 40888 times)

kmpnj

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #90 on: January 30, 2006, 10:49:34 PM »
Dear Applicant,

    Your application was horrible.  At no point in our review process did we even come close to admitting you.  In fact, we are all dumber now for having read your PS regarding the book "See Spot Run."  We awarded you no points toward admission or our waitlist and may God have mercy on your soul.

Sincerely,

Dean X
Too Good For You Law School

P.S.  We hope you don't mind, but we've added your application to a collection we're putting together for a book about how not to apply to law school.

The Poster

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #91 on: January 30, 2006, 11:39:22 PM »
Dear Applicant,

     We are unable to take favorable action on your application. You have reached the final frontier of rejection. We have tainted this letter with anthrax. If that does not kill you, please use the enclosed cyanide tablet.

This letter will self-destruct in 15 seconds.

kmpnj,
Dean of Admissions, People's College of Law






love it!!!!! 
quote Stanley J. Watson III
you are doomed in the fated sense, but that's completely irrelevant because that's only from the viewpoint of someone who is not constrained by time. since you are temporal, for all intents and purposes you have the power to change your future

cyberrev

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #92 on: January 30, 2006, 11:49:27 PM »
Dear Applicant,

Your admittance decision has been posted on our website:

                 www.unqualified.loser.die.die .die.edu


Happy_Weasel

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #93 on: January 31, 2006, 03:41:09 PM »
Dear applicant,
     
             I'm sorry. You're just not tall enough.

                                                         :-*
                                              Deans Purple and Red Tallest

Happy_Weasel

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #94 on: January 31, 2006, 04:44:03 PM »
Your Welcum.

Dear Applicant,



There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.

If a sperm is wasted,...

...God get quite irate.


Every sperm is sacred.

Every sperm is good.

Every sperm is needed...

...In your neighbourhood!


Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.

God needs everybody's.

Mine!

And mine!

And mine!


Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.

God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.


Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!
                                              :P
                                          Catholic Law Skool

Mr Shears

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #95 on: January 31, 2006, 04:58:25 PM »
Finally, some Monty Python!

Your Welcum.

Dear Applicant,



There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.

If a sperm is wasted,...

...God get quite irate.


Every sperm is sacred.

Every sperm is good.

Every sperm is needed...

...In your neighbourhood!


Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.

God needs everybody's.

Mine!

And mine!

And mine!


Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.

God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.


Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!
                                              :P
                                          Catholic Law Skool

Beatnik

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #96 on: February 01, 2006, 09:25:22 PM »
Dear Applicant,

CONGRATULATIONS!  You are IN!

Dean Stock at Harvard forwarded your application to us and we absolutely agree that YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO SUCCEED as a second shift floor manager at one of our many nation-wide superstores!

We'll see you on March 1 at new employee orientation.  Save the date!

Sincerely,
S. Burke
Wal-Mart Recruiting
"We are surrounded by insurmountable opportunity." - W. Kelly

Happy_Weasel

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #97 on: February 04, 2006, 04:36:54 PM »
Dear Applicant,


            Pissants aren't allowed at our school.

                                                     :P
                                                        Dean

lightessenz

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #98 on: February 05, 2006, 11:56:01 AM »
Dear Applicant

worst. application. ever.

Sincerely

Ralph, Senior member of the janitorial staff

The Poster

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #99 on: February 05, 2006, 12:46:37 PM »
Dear Applicant,

We would be happy to offer you a seat in the entering class of 2006 at The George Washington University Law School. Please send a seat deposit to the enclosed address.

Sincerely,

Dean of Admissions,
Georegetown
quote Stanley J. Watson III
you are doomed in the fated sense, but that's completely irrelevant because that's only from the viewpoint of someone who is not constrained by time. since you are temporal, for all intents and purposes you have the power to change your future