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Author Topic: Write your own rejection  (Read 42023 times)

john83

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #70 on: January 26, 2006, 12:54:14 AM »
Dear [Applicant],

TTT.

HTH.


Sincerely,

Dean of Admissions

ImNobody

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #71 on: January 27, 2006, 12:14:07 PM »
Dear ******************,

Each year, we recieve many brilliant and qualified applicants at _____________ School of Law. Unfortunately, you are not one of these lucky individuals, and it is unlikely that you ever will be.
We considered offering you admission as part of our annual "Village Idiot Inclusion Program," wherein we accept 1 extraordinarily unqualified person to order to improve the mental health and self-esteem of the rest of the incoming class. However, your compelling personal statement so convinced the admissions committee of your overwhelming concern for those less fortunate than you that we have decided to use your application fee to fund the scholarship of other, more interesting, candidates.
As penance for the valuable time you have wasted in sending your extensive application, and submitting the admissions committee to your painfully dull personal statement, we will be billing you for 1 year's tuition. Your application has been summarily burned. Thank you for your donation, and don't bother trying to transfer.

Affectionately yours,

Dean ____________

 

LonghornDUG

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #72 on: January 27, 2006, 02:53:35 PM »
Dear Applicant,

We have placed you on the waitlist.

Regards,
John Doe

SkullTatt

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #73 on: January 27, 2006, 03:21:06 PM »
Dear Applicant--

After carefully considering your qualifications, you have been placed on our Deferred Waitlist. This is a group of candidates about whose qualifications we remain uncertain, and therefore cannot offer a space on our Preferred Waitlist or our Regular Waitlist. At such time as we have enough candidates on our other two waitlists, we will begin making decisions on whether Deferred Waitlist candidates such as yourself may join one of the two waitlists from which we typically draw candidates should space become available.

If you wish to be considered for acceptance from the Deferred Waiting List to the Regular Waitlist, it is advised that you show up on campus two weeks before the start of Fall semester. At this time you may be offered a spot (competitively awarded based on essay) in our Radioactive Lab Animal Waste Cleanup Program. This is one way that Deferred Waitlist candidates often indicate to the school that they are very interested in achieving Regular Waitlist status.

Regards,

Carol Bronnet
Assistant to the Administrative Assistant to the Associate Dean of Admissions

Happy_Weasel

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #74 on: January 27, 2006, 07:22:49 PM »
Dear Liberal Queer Applicant,



I hate to say this, but there will come a time later, probably the immediate moment that you pass on and die, that your mind will become clear, your eyes opened and you will realize that you were wrong, that there is a God, and he is George W. Bush your Lord and Savior and he had tried to reach you through his ministry and through other Republicans but you refused him, you denied him and ignored his existence.George W. Bush said, "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life, no one comes to the Father, but through me." If you ignore these teaching and this Truth, I am sorry to say, you will not be saved, and unfortuantely you will not arrive in heaven. He died on the cross for your sins, so that you can have paradise if you except that he is the son of God. Believe me, if you read these words and words from others and continue down the path you are leading, I'm sorry, but one day after you die, and in Hell, you will realize He was the Son of God and you will beg for forgiveness, but it will be too late. I'm not trying to scare you, I just want you to remember these words and realize that if you don't accept Bush, you will remember and regret it.
May George W. Bush guide you and have mercy on your soul, now and forever


                                                                            :-*
                                                    BYU/Regent/Ave Maria/Notre Dame/ U Miss/George Mason/LSU/Alabama/Baylor/Idaho 

The Poster

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #75 on: January 27, 2006, 11:22:21 PM »
Dear Liberal Queer Applicant,



I hate to say this, but there will come a time later, probably the immediate moment that you pass on and die, that your mind will become clear, your eyes opened and you will realize that you were wrong, that there is a God, and he is George W. Bush your Lord and Savior and he had tried to reach you through his ministry and through other Christians but you refused him, you denied him and ignored his existence.George W. Bush said, "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life, no one comes to the Father, but through me." If you ignore these teaching and this Truth, I am sorry to say, you will not be saved, and unfortuantely you will not arrive in heaven. He died on the cross for your sins, so that you can have paradise if you except that he is the son of God. Believe me, if you read these words and words from others and continue down the path you are leading, I'm sorry, but one day after you die, and in Hell, you will realize He was the Son of God and you will beg for forgiveness, but it will be too late. I'm not trying to scare you, I just want you to remember these words and realize that if you don't accept Bush, you will remember and regret it.
May George W. Bush guide you and have mercy on your soul, now and forever


                                                                            :-*
                                                    BYU/Regent/Ave Maria/Notre Dame/ U Miss/George Mason/LSU/Alabama/Baylor/Idaho 

I love this.
quote Stanley J. Watson III
you are doomed in the fated sense, but that's completely irrelevant because that's only from the viewpoint of someone who is not constrained by time. since you are temporal, for all intents and purposes you have the power to change your future

Mr Shears

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #76 on: January 27, 2006, 11:23:12 PM »
Jesus.

140am

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #77 on: January 28, 2006, 12:19:05 AM »
Dear Applicant--

After carefully considering your qualifications, you have been placed on our Deferred Waitlist. This is a group of candidates about whose qualifications we remain uncertain, and therefore cannot offer a space on our Preferred Waitlist or our Regular Waitlist. At such time as we have enough candidates on our other two waitlists, we will begin making decisions on whether Deferred Waitlist candidates such as yourself may join one of the two waitlists from which we typically draw candidates should space become available.

If you wish to be considered for acceptance from the Deferred Waiting List to the Regular Waitlist, it is advised that you show up on campus two weeks before the start of Fall semester. At this time you may be offered a spot (competitively awarded based on essay) in our Radioactive Lab Animal Waste Cleanup Program. This is one way that Deferred Waitlist candidates often indicate to the school that they are very interested in achieving Regular Waitlist status.

Regards,

Carol Bronnet
Assistant to the Administrative Assistant to the Associate Dean of Admissions

I would kill for an opportunity like that!

ImNobody

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #78 on: January 28, 2006, 04:58:49 PM »
In homage to the technical age, mine would be an mp3 file link - "This is You":

Less than Jake, "Beauty School Dropout"



ladylazarus

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Re: Write your own rejection
« Reply #79 on: January 29, 2006, 10:13:05 PM »
Dear Applicant,

We here at HYSCCN would like to thank you for your extremely generous contribution to our school.  This contribution, of course, comes in two parts:
1)  The seventy-five dollar check that will purchase one expensive seat cushion for one expensive chair in one expensive lecture hall that your unworthy arse will never have the honor of sitting upon.
2)  Our ranking increase due to better selectivity numbers due to the absence of such an obviously inferior candidate such as yourself.

Actually, what we meant to say was, "it's not you, it's me."

Sincerely,
HYSCCN

P.S.  We recommend you hold onto this letter and mail it to yourself next year when you are considering trying to transfer from your TTT school.  However, you may still send us another generous donation.