Law School Discussion

Is this homophobic???

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Re: Is this homophobic???
« Reply #20 on: July 08, 2004, 10:53:18 AM »
I agree with you on the f word, and for that matter people who use "gay" to mean "lame".

But on another note I called my sis again and she's like "I just talked to Todd, and it sucks."  Come to find out he had to call his best frind who just broke up with his girlfreind and tell him he couldn't bring anyone.  In a weird way that makes me feel batter, not that they're hatin on gays, they're just screwed up.  Family politics suck somtimes.

That bites.  I'm glad your brother seems to understand how hurtful it is, and I'd consider just outclassing her family by having a great time at the reception (and looking for the inevitable gay cousin on her side, of course).  Don't let them make you feel like crap.

Quote
and here's a question... do gay people find the F word as offensive as black people find the N word? I realize the N word represents a whole lot more historical subjugation, but I'm wondering if the two elicit the same reaction.

I can only speak for myself, but I find it incredibly offensive when used as a slur, really annoying when used by cool straight people trying to express solidarity, and okay when used in an ironic or reclaim-y way by fellow GLBT people.

Rowgirl

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Re: Is this homophobic???
« Reply #21 on: July 08, 2004, 10:55:23 AM »
If the bride's aunt gets sick the day before the wedding and can't make it, does that mean that the groom's aunt can't come either?  What they did, regardless of the homophobic qualities or motivations, is just plain rude and classless.

daynee

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Re: Is this homophobic???
« Reply #22 on: July 08, 2004, 10:56:57 AM »
I agree with you on the f word, and for that matter people who use "gay" to mean "lame".

But on another note I called my sis again and she's like "I just talked to Todd, and it sucks."  Come to find out he had to call his best frind who just broke up with his girlfreind and tell him he couldn't bring anyone.  In a weird way that makes me feel batter, not that they're hatin on gays, they're just screwed up.  Family politics suck somtimes.


That is really weird, although I guess a little comforting, that unless guests are married or have serious SOs, they can't bring a plus-one.  Not that it's any of my business, but are they on some kind of strict budget or something?  I've never heard of that kind of policy before; either guests can bring guests or they can't, not some kind of selective guest policy.

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Re: Is this homophobic???
« Reply #23 on: July 08, 2004, 10:59:09 AM »
I think the invite list exploded.  But considering where it is I"m sure it's getting expensive.  And they just made a rule in the beginning and are stuck with it now.

I agree with you on the f word, and for that matter people who use "gay" to mean "lame".

But on another note I called my sis again and she's like "I just talked to Todd, and it sucks."  Come to find out he had to call his best frind who just broke up with his girlfreind and tell him he couldn't bring anyone.  In a weird way that makes me feel batter, not that they're hatin on gays, they're just screwed up.  Family politics suck somtimes.


That is really weird, although I guess a little comforting, that unless guests are married or have serious SOs, they can't bring a plus-one.  Not that it's any of my business, but are they on some kind of strict budget or something?  I've never heard of that kind of policy before; either guests can bring guests or they can't, not some kind of selective guest policy.

Re: Is this homophobic???
« Reply #24 on: July 08, 2004, 11:06:22 AM »
Yick.  I guess that's some comfort, then, and at least there will be other unaccompanied people there who will likely feel similarly adrift.

Re: Is this homophobic???
« Reply #25 on: July 08, 2004, 11:07:55 AM »
but you're still going, aren't you? and here's a question... do gay people find the F word as offensive as black people find the N word? I realize the N word represents a whole lot more historical subjugation, but I'm wondering if the two elicit the same reaction.


I'm not gay, but in my opinion, the F word is just as bad as the N word.  Here's a little history on the F-word:  In the witch trials of old, bundles of sticks were used to start the fires that burned the "witches."  Well, the F-word was derived from the word used to refer to these bundles of wood.  The idea was that homosexuals were so worthless that they weren't worth an "official burning" and that instead they should be bundled and used to burn witches.

 
To the OP: those people are totally homophobes.  You should go wearing nothing but a pride flag!

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Re: Is this homophobic???
« Reply #26 on: July 08, 2004, 11:08:44 AM »
I know right.  But at least now it's not a "no gays allowed," it's a "sorry your ass got dumped, but you're less important now."  What ever happened to 1st teir "and guest" 2nd teir "no and guest" 3rd teir "invite to ceremony only".

Yick.  I guess that's some comfort, then, and at least there will be other unaccompanied people there who will likely feel similarly adrift.

daynee

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Re: Is this homophobic???
« Reply #27 on: July 08, 2004, 11:09:29 AM »
Well, I guess you can chalk it up to poor wedding planners who have never read an etiquette book.  I still think it's lame to save money by telling you that you can bring a guest from the beginning and then changing their mind just because you're no longer with the person they thought you'd be bringing.  For propriety's sake, they need to stick with what they originally told you.

Still sucks, though.

I think the invite list exploded.  But considering where it is I"m sure it's getting expensive.  And they just made a rule in the beginning and are stuck with it now.

I agree with you on the f word, and for that matter people who use "gay" to mean "lame".

But on another note I called my sis again and she's like "I just talked to Todd, and it sucks."  Come to find out he had to call his best frind who just broke up with his girlfreind and tell him he couldn't bring anyone.  In a weird way that makes me feel batter, not that they're hatin on gays, they're just screwed up.  Family politics suck somtimes.


That is really weird, although I guess a little comforting, that unless guests are married or have serious SOs, they can't bring a plus-one.  Not that it's any of my business, but are they on some kind of strict budget or something?  I've never heard of that kind of policy before; either guests can bring guests or they can't, not some kind of selective guest policy.

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Re: Is this homophobic???
« Reply #28 on: July 08, 2004, 11:24:23 AM »
I think it's legit. There may be some anti-gay feeling behind it, but something like this happens a lot when it comes to weddings -- even to straight people!

For example, one of my roommates just got married. Myself and my other roommate were two of her 7 bridesmaids. We were intitially told we could have guests, but once the invitations came out, there was no "and guest." We were told it was because we didn't have boyfriends to bring along anyway. We were kind of annoyed because every other bridesmaid brought their boyfriends and the 5 groomsmen who have girlfriends brought them. We couldn't have brought other guy friends? It was kind of annoying.

But we dealt with it and had a wonderful time. It is also important to note that the bride did also rescind "and guest" invitations to family members who broke up with their SO before the wedding. Her reasoning was that she only wanted people that were important to her and her husband at the wedding. She saw no need to pay for 30 or so other people.

I'd say to just suck it up and not take a guest. No need to cause a scene at the wedding. Like someone else said, weddings are all about the bride. What the bride wants, the bride gets. And since you mentioned the thing was getting expensive already, it could be a legit reason.

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Re: Is this homophobic???
« Reply #29 on: July 08, 2004, 11:45:41 AM »
Like someone else said, weddings are all about the bride. What the bride wants, the bride gets.

THIS is why i hate weddings. Women entering marriages with that mentality r gonna get kicked to the curb. I CAN'T STAND bridezillas. If its all about the bride, she should be the only one standing at the alter, putting the ring on her finger, and vowing she'll love herself till death. Then she can consummate her marriage by herself, and carry her own ass across the threshold.

I apologize for the tangent. I just don't understand why the groom even needs to show up.