I have asked four people for letters and two of them have suggested that I write a draft and or bullet points that list main topics in order to point them in the right direction. Bullet points I don't have a problem with doing, and if I had no life and an abundance of time, I wouldn't (ethically) have a problem with writing the letter itself...but I don't.
Honestly - I just feel annoyed when people respond in that way. I feel like it should be somewhat flattered when someone asks them for a LOR. I have enough work to do...
but to answer the ethics question, I don't have a problem with it.
The only thing I have a problem with is that I feel like it's a bit inconsiderate or even lazy when someone replies like this. Bullet points fine - but that's it.