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Author Topic: Open relationships?  (Read 1598 times)

headmachine

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Open relationships?
« on: July 06, 2004, 01:30:35 PM »
godsend or vice of the devil? in theory these type of relationships tend to benefit both parties and cause drama (only?) at the end. but i just wanted to get some general feedback on this situation.  :-*
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dsong02

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Re: Open relationships?
« Reply #1 on: July 06, 2004, 01:57:06 PM »
open relationships are only open until you sleep with someone else.  then all hell will break loose.

stay away.
'why does it hurt so much when i poke it?'

headmachine

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Re: Open relationships?
« Reply #2 on: July 06, 2004, 02:42:00 PM »
open relationships are only open until you sleep with someone else.  then all hell will break loose.

stay away.

haha f*ck i forgot about that whole relationship part of open relationship...sigh...so does that mean im in a real one? crud.  :-\
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guyutegirl (Jew-Lo)

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Re: Open relationships?
« Reply #3 on: July 06, 2004, 02:53:06 PM »
R u in this 'open' relationship with a new chick or is this the ex-gf, but under new circumstances? Either way, it seems like ur being a little quick to put a title on it. Whomever came up with the idea of having the open relationship (i'm guessing it's u), i GUARANTEE that the other person (musta been the chick) agreed to it reluctantly, only cuz she realized that was the only type of relationship she was gonna get outta you at this time. In reality, she hates it, she's gonna hate u for it, and she's not gonna be seeing anyone else...and she's gonna wait to see what u do. as soon as u start seeing someone else she's gonna freak out. she's gonna try and turn this whole thing into a monogamous relationship and things are gonna end shittily. (that's gotta be a word. if it's not, it should be) If i am wrong about who wanted what, then i apologize for emasculating u-and just apply everything in reverse and don't get mad at me.  :-*
Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop-heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow.

headmachine

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Re: Open relationships?
« Reply #4 on: July 06, 2004, 04:25:08 PM »
R u in this 'open' relationship with a new chick or is this the ex-gf, but under new circumstances? Either way, it seems like ur being a little quick to put a title on it. Whomever came up with the idea of having the open relationship (i'm guessing it's u), i GUARANTEE that the other person (musta been the chick) agreed to it reluctantly, only cuz she realized that was the only type of relationship she was gonna get outta you at this time. In reality, she hates it, she's gonna hate u for it, and she's not gonna be seeing anyone else...and she's gonna wait to see what u do. as soon as u start seeing someone else she's gonna freak out. she's gonna try and turn this whole thing into a monogamous relationship and things are gonna end shittily. (that's gotta be a word. if it's not, it should be) If i am wrong about who wanted what, then i apologize for emasculating u-and just apply everything in reverse and don't get mad at me.  :-*

good read, actually everything u said makes sense. this happens to be the new chick that knows all she can get out of me right now in terms of commitment is a open relationship...well we talked about it and i said i cant offer her anything right now so instead of an open relationship we have an "i dont know" that shes gonna tell her friends when they ask about us. this is arguably better/worse? than the open relationship..but i can see her tryin to get into the monogamous part of the whole thing and im tryin to fight it off as long as possible for me to figure out what exactly i want.

one things for sure i def do not want a serious relationship right now so is dating/eating dinner/ movies/ boning down all allowed under the assumption of dating? sigh...and how could i ever get mad at u jewie? all u really do is tell it like it is  :-*
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guyutegirl (Jew-Lo)

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Re: Open relationships?
« Reply #5 on: July 06, 2004, 04:42:24 PM »
lol, nah, u never get mad at me. i was just remindin u in case u forgot.  ;) All of the food, drinks, movies, copulation stuff is definitely acceptable behavior although it usually seems sorta datey in which case the chick will likely think that casual dating will evolve into exclusive dating which will evolve into monogamous relationship which will evolve into a proposal, engagement, marriage and babies. If i were u, with that good-lookin grill of yours, i'd just stick to the drinkin, the copulation, and the booting out the next morning. That gets the message across pretty clearly and sets u up for future encounters of the same kind if that's what u want. If u like the dating thing-ya know, the dinners and all that crap, then ur gonna have a lotta chicks who are looking for somethin more than just casual dating/sex-which, is just something u'll have to deal with. But they're gonna keep pressing u to put SOME sorta title on ur relationship-whether it's open, or non-existent, they'r gonna wanna put somethin on it which makes it thiers. Life is much easier if u go with the getting wasted and having sex avenue-but maybe u kinda want a little more than that? sometimes its kinda nice to know you could have someone fill that position if u wanted to, even if u don't want to?
Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop-heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow.

headmachine

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Re: Open relationships?
« Reply #6 on: July 06, 2004, 05:22:05 PM »
lol, nah, u never get mad at me. i was just remindin u in case u forgot.  ;) All of the food, drinks, movies, copulation stuff is definitely acceptable behavior although it usually seems sorta datey in which case the chick will likely think that casual dating will evolve into exclusive dating which will evolve into monogamous relationship which will evolve into a proposal, engagement, marriage and babies. If i were u, with that good-lookin grill of yours, i'd just stick to the drinkin, the copulation, and the booting out the next morning. That gets the message across pretty clearly and sets u up for future encounters of the same kind if that's what u want. If u like the dating thing-ya know, the dinners and all that crap, then ur gonna have a lotta chicks who are looking for somethin more than just casual dating/sex-which, is just something u'll have to deal with. But they're gonna keep pressing u to put SOME sorta title on ur relationship-whether it's open, or non-existent, they'r gonna wanna put somethin on it which makes it thiers. Life is much easier if u go with the getting wasted and having sex avenue-but maybe u kinda want a little more than that? sometimes its kinda nice to know you could have someone fill that position if u wanted to, even if u don't want to?

hmm good points. i believe that it would prolly be easier not to get into another relationship and just kick chicks to the curb but the only problem is im not really the type of person that can do that so i always get a little overinvested into my relationships. the story this time is that i dont want much and she does and im not used to this feeling because i usually give in..the chick that i am with is a lottt better for me in many ways than my exs but i dont think i want to jump from relationship to relationship nemore as i have been doin for the last 6 years. and for some reason in all my relationships things go too quickly whether its me or the chica getting too serious about certain subjects much too soon.

so what do i do about it now? am i just making this a less commited relationship simply because i dont want a serious relationship and making a mistake by just goin with the flow or should i instead get back into the house and no more playin the game? and its always arguable that the right one is the right one because she comes at the right time...so if i dont think its the right time, its not, right?  :-*
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guyutegirl (Jew-Lo)

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Re: Open relationships?
« Reply #7 on: July 06, 2004, 06:26:51 PM »
lol, nah, u never get mad at me. i was just remindin u in case u forgot.  ;) All of the food, drinks, movies, copulation stuff is definitely acceptable behavior although it usually seems sorta datey in which case the chick will likely think that casual dating will evolve into exclusive dating which will evolve into monogamous relationship which will evolve into a proposal, engagement, marriage and babies. If i were u, with that good-lookin grill of yours, i'd just stick to the drinkin, the copulation, and the booting out the next morning. That gets the message across pretty clearly and sets u up for future encounters of the same kind if that's what u want. If u like the dating thing-ya know, the dinners and all that crap, then ur gonna have a lotta chicks who are looking for somethin more than just casual dating/sex-which, is just something u'll have to deal with. But they're gonna keep pressing u to put SOME sorta title on ur relationship-whether it's open, or non-existent, they'r gonna wanna put somethin on it which makes it thiers. Life is much easier if u go with the getting wasted and having sex avenue-but maybe u kinda want a little more than that? sometimes its kinda nice to know you could have someone fill that position if u wanted to, even if u don't want to?

hmm good points. i believe that it would prolly be easier not to get into another relationship and just kick chicks to the curb but the only problem is im not really the type of person that can do that so i always get a little overinvested into my relationships. the story this time is that i dont want much and she does and im not used to this feeling because i usually give in..the chick that i am with is a lottt better for me in many ways than my exs but i dont think i want to jump from relationship to relationship nemore as i have been doin for the last 6 years. and for some reason in all my relationships things go too quickly whether its me or the chica getting too serious about certain subjects much too soon.

so what do i do about it now? am i just making this a less commited relationship simply because i dont want a serious relationship and making a mistake by just goin with the flow or should i instead get back into the house and no more playin the game? and its always arguable that the right one is the right one because she comes at the right time...so if i dont think its the right time, its not, right?  :-*

lookie heaya-i think that relationship hopping is a not so good. I don't do that sorta thing because it's takin the easy way out and it's doin it at someone else's expense. I'm no saint <no *&^%> but having one relationship after the other is kinda selfish <cringe>. If ur walking across the street, it's usually a good plan to either make ur way at a decent pace to the other side, or, if u change ur mind, turn back. But you don't wanna be sorta wandering in the middle, trying to make up your mind and only going two thirds one way or the other cuz ur gonna get hit every time. Or ur just going to be in an endlessly precarious position. This is the way i see it: so i was really interested in this dude back in college, i liked him so much (which  meant that i never talked to him and avoided him at all costs) but i was totally stoked on this guy. Eventually, we started talking and he ended up dumping his girlfriend for me (totally on his own volition, things had not been sexual with us at that point or anything, even tho i wanted to bone the *&^% outta him). A lotta people were like "this guy's crazy about u, he dumped his gf 4 u, especially if he didn't know if something was gonna happend between the two of u" and i was like wtf? how can i be assured that a year down the road, when i'm with this dude, he won't dump me for someone else? So after that i could never really allow myself to be into this guy because i always had that thought in the back of my mind, that why would he ever be together with someone, if he wasn't sure he wanted to be her? And that's sorta the way i look at relationships. I don't have to be sure that i'm gonna marry the guy but i have to at least know that i like this guy enough so that i can be pretty dern sure that something better won't come along-at least not too often. If u continue to get in these quasi-relationships, then ur gonna leave a trail of broken hearts and ur not gonna be satiated urself. If ur unsure about whether u want a relationship with someone that means that there's always someone else u'd rather b with. Does that make any sense to u cuz it doesn't make a lotta sense to me. my usual articulate manner is not coming though 2day much 2 my own dismay.  What i'm tryin to say is *&^% or git off the pot.  :-*     
Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop-heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow.

neverends

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Re: Open relationships?
« Reply #8 on: July 08, 2004, 07:00:46 PM »
F what J just said.

I've always gotten too serious with my girls. I suggest developing those muscles, those upfront totally honest muscles, and when the chick flips on you, you flip it on her, you state that you told her what was up, you were totally honest, you didn't play her, and it was her own need which got her into the f'd up situation.  Good for her to know, you know?

Plus the stronger you get, the less you'll have to use it.  (don't ask, its a karate thing)
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