Law School Discussion

Econ Major, sucks at writing...HELP PLEASE!

Econ Major, sucks at writing...HELP PLEASE!
« on: October 04, 2005, 07:14:10 AM »
   I'm thinking about adding on to this but does anybody have any feedback or critiques? what do you guys thing about what i have so far?

Bright and early one Saturday morning, I sat on the cement curb, in front of my house lacing up the shoestrings in my new, sparkly, purple in-line skates. It was my first time wearing them. After putting on the skates, a light gust of wind resulted in me falling. I looked up, and saw the silhouette of a gentle giant figure, my father. For hours in the blazing sun, my father held my hand and helped me stabilize my weight until I was able to balance my weight. The goal was for me to stand without his help. It took hours in the hot sun but eventually I was able to stand alone. By late in the afternoon, I could in-line skate. His voice resonates firmly amidst the wind, “Don’t stop pushing, Tamika!”
   Reflecting on this event, I hear my father’s voice telling me, “Push Yourself,” and, “Don’t Quit.” My father has always been a stabilizing force in my life. For the past twenty years he has served as a law enforcement officer for the Washington D.C. Metropolitan Police Department. He serves the community as a civic leader and public servant. He has instilled in me the importance of civic engagements in community involvement. At least one Saturday of each month, I serve as a volunteer for Food and Friends, a non-profit organization that delivers meals for people with the HIV/AIDS virus and other terminal illnesses. I aspire to such loyalty and commitment in my education and professional careers, of which I have financed seventy-five percent through loans and employment. It is my intention to use the lessons I have learned from him and apply them to become a leader that helps others in their communities. I seek to pursue a career in law because it is all I know. I have learned many lessons from my father. At the top of the lessons is the importance of helping others and the continuous fight for justice. As an officer of the law he fights for justice and that is what I intend to do.
   His consciousness, moral integrity, and commitment to justice inspired me, to apply for a position an intern position in the United States Department of Justice.  I was accepted in the Attorney General’s Summer Intern Institute in DOJ under the leadership of Former Attorney General John Ashcroft. This great experience further inspired my desire for a career in law. In addition, my desire to attend law school came from my father who has always demonstrated by example. My intellectual curiosity and interest in humanity are the focuses of my life, calling me toward a career in the legal field. Building upon my firm commitment for equality, justice and helping others, I seek to employ academic reason as a vehicle to promote the pursuit of justice.