I think it is a good personal statement although I personally am not a big fan of the occupy movement and there is a good chance an admissions officer may not be as well. However, that is who you are and you should own it as there will be plenty of admission officers in support of I am sure.
Also the reality is law school admissions is really about numbers the personal statement helps, but your GPA/LSAT will what gets you into law school. I think this personal statement helps and can get you in if your on the fence. Good luck.
As for feedback I know space is tight on these things, but it might be helpful to explain how you fought for tuition freezes, increased janitor wages etc. It is kind of a list of things that occured, but no explanation of the details as you did in your intro which I thought was good.