Girlfriend in Law School

[seaco711]

So, as the title suggests, my girlfriend is currently a 1L in a T14. She's dealing with all the typical stressors, especially starting exams in the coming days. I know that retreating to the library, not having time to keep in touch with me more than a brief phone call or a few texts each day, being constantly stressed, etc etc is all normal. I'm just trying to figure out what to do to best support and help her, and what the best way for me to cope with all of this is. Any suggestions from people who have been there or have had significant others when you've been in school?

[IrrX]

Making something like this work is pretty simple to understand, but can be hard to actually do. Be there when she needs you. Don't complain or pout when she isn't there for you; keep your big boy pants on. There isn't a lot of compromise available in this situation, so just deal with it, and be as consistent and understanding as you can. Fix dinner for her on occasion; she'll need it. Send meals with her to school, maybe, so that's at least one less thing she'll have to think about. Offer to help her with whatever you can do, even if it's just printing out flash cards or doing dishes/laundry when she can't. Big things take time--which, if she doesn't have, neither of you will have--so everything will rest on how well each of you take care of the little things. The fewer things not related to law school she has to worry about, the better it's going to be for both of you.

[seaco711]

Yeah, I'm trying to do all of that. I guess I should have mentioned that we're a little over an hour apart, so I'm not actually present with her, which throws another wrench in the works.

[livinglegend]

Anyway to move closer?

Another thing to know or at least in my law school experience is that after first year and particularly first semester law school gets a lot less stressful. I remember freaking out first semester everything is so new and you have no idea what to expect I personally felt first semester of law school was even harder than the bar, but once 1L was done with 2L and 3L I had much more time and my relationship with my girlfriend a non-lawyer/student got a lot better. That is not a guarantee that it will, but I believe most law students would agree law school gets much easier after 1L. Hopefully that is somewhat encouraging.

[seaco711]

Yeah, that is encouraging, and that's what I've heard. Unfortunately, I can't move closer, as I'm in school as well. I'm only about an hour and a half away, but that still makes travel (especially during exam time) pretty prohibitive.

[lawsupport]

Seaco,

I know exactly how you feel. Currently, I'm living in Los Angeles while my girlfriend (1L) is in Chicago. She's absolutely miserable most days, and I get the EXACT same types of communication that you do too! The minimal text messages, and brief phone calls all sound exactly like what we're going through.

One thing that has helped us (me) a bit is just setting a time when you both can speak during the day. Though many days we have to scrap this plan, it really helps me to not look for her messages or phone calls all day. After all, it's terrifying, right? There's so much change happening that you don't know what's going to happen.

One other thing that seemed to help her a lot was getting in touch with a bunch of her friends, sending them cards, and having them fill them out and send them to her. She really appreciated the fact that so many people in her life really believe in her ability to succeed, and it helps her to feel a bit more secure in a constantly changing environment.

I hope all works out well with you two, especially since I am in a very similar and familiar boat!

[seaco711]

Damn - that's a really great idea! Wish I had thought of it sooner. I'll have to do it for next semester. Any chance you'd like to share your email and we could chat outside the forum? Send me a private message or something if you'd like!

[jame22]

Yeah, I'm trying to do all of that. I really a great idea and that is encouraging,the tittle suggestion of Girlfriend in Law School is good.

[Julie Fern]

Yeah, I'm trying to do all of that. I really a great idea and that is encouraging,the tittle suggestion of Girlfriend in Law School is good.

"tittle"?  so julie guessing pictures.