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Author Topic: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school  (Read 2569 times)

Julie Fern

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Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
« on: June 22, 2012, 03:19:10 PM »
NOTICE:  THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN TRANSLATED INTO REGULAR ENGLISH BY THE JULIE-IZER GRX 4000-L 1/2 (PAT PENDING,  AS WELL AS HIS SISTER, MARCIA PENDING).

     As those of you with even a modicum of intelligence should know, Julie is the Dean of the Caribbean-based Whotsamotta U. School of Law and Leisure Studies.  From time to time, she has made herself available for silly persons such as yourself to endeavor to ask her questions about her school.

     Because this site currently can't be any more dull, frankly, Dean Julie is, once again, willing to take inquiries from anyone who's not a Republican.

     Good luck to you all....

                         Dean Julie
                         Whotsamotta U. School of Law and Leisure Studies
                         Somewhere in the Caribbean Sea

Cher1300

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Re: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
« Reply #1 on: June 22, 2012, 06:14:51 PM »
Independent ok?

legend

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Re: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
« Reply #2 on: June 22, 2012, 08:27:12 PM »
What scholarship packages do you offer?

More importantly have you accounted for every single graduates employment status, and has every single one started making 100k immediately upon graduation? 

Has any graduate ever been rejected after going into interview? Or not gotten a call-back after sending in an application? If that happened Julie's law school should get sued!

Julie Fern

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Re: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
« Reply #3 on: June 23, 2012, 09:46:31 AM »
Independent ok?

NOTICE:  THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN TRANSLATED INTO REGULAR ENGLISH BY THE JULIE-IZER GRX 4000-L 1/2 (PAT PENDING, AS WELL AS HIS SISATER, MARCIA PENDING).

     Whotsamotta U. certainly expects independence from its students--in particular, independence from attempts to make finely-honed interpretations of the law.  We prefer that you stick to basics.

                       Dean Julie
                       Whotsamotta U. School of Law and Leisure Studies
                       Somewhere in the Caribbean Sea

Julie Fern

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Re: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
« Reply #4 on: June 23, 2012, 09:54:39 AM »
What scholarship packages do you offer?

More importantly have you accounted for every single graduates employment status, and has every single one started making 100k immediately upon graduation? 

Has any graduate ever been rejected after going into interview? Or not gotten a call-back after sending in an application? If that happened Julie's law school should get sued!

NOTICE:  THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN TRANSLATED INTO REGULAR ENGLISH BY THE JULIE-IZER GRX-4000L 1/2 (PAT PENDING, AS WELL AS HIS SISTER, MARCIA PENDING).

     We offer no scholarship packages whatsoever, as any applicant with a brain larger than a hamster recognizes what a good deal we offer.  Our costs still will be well below any other three-year vacation that you might imagine taking.

     We know exactly where our graduates end up, which tends to be substance abuse programs.

     None of our applicants ever has been rejected because none of them ever apply for jobs.  Rather, they simply slide into an associate's position at Mommy or Daddy's law firm.  And no one ever could litigate against us anyway, as it's very difficult to obtain jurisdiction over our floating Carribean campus.  Today it's Martinique, but tomorrow it's St. Kitt's.  (We also regard the word "sue" to be vulgar and encourage everyone to avoid it.)

                        Dean Julie
                        Whotsamotta U. School of Law and Leisure Studies
                        Somewhere in the Caribbean Sea

legend

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Re: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
« Reply #5 on: June 23, 2012, 04:44:58 PM »
Quite a sales pitch, but are these substance abuse programs top 100 or not? Also what substances are they doing in most recent U.S. News rankings the top 10 addictive drugs were.

1. Bath salts
2. Meth
3. Crank
4. Crack
5. Heroin
6. LSD
7. Acid
8. Booze
9. Shrooms
10. PCP

I certainly don't want to end up in a tier 3/4 substance abuse program with some weak addiction to pot or something at graduation. I want to make sure that all Whotsamotta grads are working in jobs that require some kind of parole/condition rehabilitation program for re-entry into society. If your grads are not working in official substance abuse programs you need to disclose that remember you are personally responsible for the severity of each student's addiction and they play no part in their own substance abuse success stories.

Potential Applicant to Whotsamotta

NiceOne

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Re: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
« Reply #6 on: June 23, 2012, 05:04:25 PM »
Save your money. Get a dog. Name it Sue.

Julie Fern

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Re: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
« Reply #7 on: June 24, 2012, 09:39:27 AM »
Quite a sales pitch, but are these substance abuse programs top 100 or not? Also what substances are they doing in most recent U.S. News rankings the top 10 addictive drugs were.

1. Bath salts
2. Meth
3. Crank
4. Crack
5. Heroin
6. LSD
7. Acid
8. Booze
9. Shrooms
10. PCP

I certainly don't want to end up in a tier 3/4 substance abuse program with some weak addiction to pot or something at graduation. I want to make sure that all Whotsamotta grads are working in jobs that require some kind of parole/condition rehabilitation program for re-entry into society. If your grads are not working in official substance abuse programs you need to disclose that remember you are personally responsible for the severity of each student's addiction and they play no part in their own substance abuse success stories.

Potential Applicant to Whotsamotta

NOTICE:  THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN TRANSLATED INTO REGULAR ENGLISH BY THE JULIE-IZER GRX 4000-L 1/2 (PAT PENDING, AS WELL AS HIS SISTER, MARCIA PENDING)

          Dean Julie is afraid that your naivite shows in many ways, Li'l Grasshopper.  LSD and acid are the same substance by different names.  Neither that drug nor the mushrooms--presumed to be psilocybin--ever have landed anyone in a rehab program.  On the bright side, your lack of research bodes well for your application to Whotsamotta U., I must say.

          You're also under the endearing misimpression that our graduates don't find gainful employment in the law but, rather, in substance abuse programs, and even then only after criminal prosecution.  Not to put too fine a point it, but this is silly.  Our graduates go into "country club" programs that are so exclusive that U.S . News and World Report doesn't even know about them.  Yes, our graduates abuse substances, but they are all sorts of substances;  we're very big on diversity at Whotsamotta U.   But then they dry out like ordinary rich people and, as already mentioned, join Mommy or Daddy's firm.  Their intensive training in substance abuse helps them to pass the many long hours from 10-2 (don't forget the lunch hour!) known as "work."  Really, it's quite like being Mitt Romney (coke and meth, by the way).

     Please do apply to Whotsamotta...and don;t forget your $20,000 application fee!

                  Dean Julie
                 Whotsamotta School of Law and Leisure Studies
                 Somewhere in the Caribbean Sea.

kellykinn

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Re: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
« Reply #8 on: June 24, 2012, 12:28:52 PM »
What's happened to this forum? I remember coming here in 2008 when I was in undergrad and it was bumpin. Now? Julie is right, it can't get any more dull.

Julie, how did this happen?

Julie Fern

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Re: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
« Reply #9 on: June 24, 2012, 01:30:52 PM »
Save your money. Get a dog. Name it Sue.

NOTICE:  THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN TRANSLATED INTO REGULAR ENGLISH BY THE JULIE-IZER GRX-4000-L 1/2 (PAT PENDING, AS WELL AS HIS SISTER, MARCIA PENDING)

     Dean Julie cannot help but note that your meaning is absolutely unclear.  Thus, you would appear to be an excellent candidate for admission to Whotsamotta U.   Remember:  your check is the only application form you need!

              Dean Julie
              Whotsamotta U. School of Law and Leisure Studies
              Somewhere in  the Caribbean Sea