Law school girlfriend will probably be dismissed

[hellhounds88]

Just thought I would share something.

My girlfriend and I met in law school as 1Ls last year, and we've grown extremely close. We support each other and are best friends as well as lovers. I love and value her more than I can convey on an internet discussion board. We generally didn't study together because our study methods and learning styles are rather different, and we both study most efficiently within our own study groups. Despite her incredible intelligence, she struggles in this environment. I don't really know the reason why, and I did try to help her in tangible ways. However, even though she has put immense effort into her studies, she hasn't been able to turn her grades around. As a result, should she fail to earn high enough grades in her summer courses, she will be dismissed from law school.

She truly wants to be a lawyer. Law school has been her ambition for a long time, but it looks as though she may for the time being admit defeat and go back to her previous career. This would take her out of the United States for the foreseeable future. We both understand that if this happens, we have to break up and move on with our lives, as it seems to us foolish to continue our relationship when there is no foreseeable hope of seeing one another again.

I know that I may lose her at the end of the summer, as she departs and I remain. I am becoming very emotional over this, and although I haven't yet figured out how this situation has affected me, I can say now only that I feel deeply sad and terribly disappointed for her. As I imagine how she must feel and how her family will shame her (she has a very harsh and ambitious family), I feel myself falling almost into the same malaise that must have afflicted her when she learned that she will likely be dismissed.

I write this only to share a law school experience with prospective and current students alike, and to ask whether something similar has happened to anyone else. I absolutely do not regret our relationship, and may come to remember it as one of the best experiences of my life.

EDIT: I would also like to add that despite my sadness over this, my studies have not been affected in any way that I can now notice. Perhaps some of you will say that it is unwise to enter a relationship with another law student. From a career perspective, this is probably empirically true. Remember, however, that we may not all share the same ambitions, and I would absolutely choose to have this experience again. In life some painful things are necessary for one to truly enjoy the pleasurable things, and for one to experience all of what life has to offer.

[fortook]

GGU?

[hellhounds88]

What's GGU?

EDIT: Ah, Golden Gate University. No, I'm not a student there. Why do you ask?

[NiceOne]

I really hope she can turn it around.

Not to sound cold, but perhaps you guys could break up now, and that may help her with her studies and reach her dreams.

[Julie Fern]

or maybe could help her study...

[NiceOne]

or maybe could help her study...

Exactly.

[hellhounds88]

I do help her study, but I think her friends and I have reached the limit to how much we can help her. Unfortunately, at this point it's all up to her. She must feel very alone. I'm trying some other things at her suggestion but I don't want to rattle her confidence too much. I don't think I'm writing so as to ask for advice, but this is a stressful situation so maybe I was subconsciously looking for advice when I wrote original post.

[jack24]

What attrition rate does your school have?  My school had a 2.9 curve and you had to get below a 2.0 in your first 45 credits to be kicked out.  Some kids dropped out, but nobody was forced out.

I don't know you and I don't know your girlfriend.  I also don't know what your school is like.  So forgive me for saying that I can't believe anyone who is of "incredible intelligence" could fail out of law school unless there is an insane forced attrition policy.  Get a supplement and an outline from a prior year and cram for a couple days and take the tests and get B's and C's.  If she's diligent and smart and failing, she's over thinking it.  She should try to memorize the general rules and just BS the rest without getting bogged down on any one question.

I guess I just assumed during law school that if you end up in the bottom 10% of your class you are usually both dumb and lazy.  You said she's from another country?  Is English her second language?

The following is a stereotype based on limited information (it's basically a joke)
Top 10% at my school = Very Smart and Very Diligent
25% - 10% = Two of the following three: Smart, Very Diligent, Lucky
50%- 25% = Either very diligent and dumb, very smart and lazy, average intelligence and average diligence, or Lucky
75% - 50% =  Either Dumb and average diligence, lazy and average intelligence, average at both and unlucky
90%-75% = Dumb, lazy, lucky or Dumb, average diligence, and unlucky. 
Bottom 10% = Dumb, lazy, unlucky.

[hellhounds88]

Sorry I think you're just gonna have to take my word for it. I just wanted to share that this is something that can happen in law school, and that it sucks. Not a reason not to go; just makes you think. Try not to judge too harshly.

[FalconJimmy]

So forgive me for saying that I can't believe anyone who is of "incredible intelligence" could fail out of law school unless there is an insane forced attrition policy. 

I was thinking the same thing until he said she would have to leave the country.  Quite possible that English is a second language to her.  That would put even an incredibly intelligent person at a significant disadvantage since, basically, law school is essentially entirely language-based.