Hello all,
I could really use some helpful advice and friendly constructive feedback please. I have written two personal statements. There is one that I prefer which represents my latest efforts, but I think it could be better. If I had to grade it, I think I would give it a B. I will gladly critique another personal statement if you provide your private email and your personal statement as an attachment. Thanks for your time.
Note: Since I originally posted this, I have noticed quite a few views, but no replies :'(so I have considerably modified this topic and removed my personal statement from the public. If you are interested in assisting me, that would be greatly appreciated! Please send me a PM with your statement, and I'll be happy to exchange mine for yours ok?

Many thanks!
