I've been feeling so depressed for the past year... I am a 2L. I am not so sure what is causing the depression, it could be schoolwork, or maybe because Im super lonley because Im away from my family and barely have any friends... I do know some people at school, but I don't really talk to them much. Some are just annoying. If they are nice, I avoid them anyways because I don't want to get too close to them. The materials I learn don't seem too bad, I understand most of the concepts fairly well, my grades are mediocre.
It's so strange because I have so many obssessive thoughts, like I think about what happened in the past over and over again. Like the girl I broke up with, some people who did bad things to me, or sometimes I feel super guilty because I feel like Im so self-centered. sometimes I get super angry and punch the wall and yell. I seem to think a lot about how there is no purpose in doing anything, like what I am gonna do if I get a law degree, like I literally have no plans or goals, I just want to finish law school and stay sane.
I sometimes can't sleep or wake up after sleeping like 3 hours. I remember playing lots of video games and sports as an undergrad, I now realize how fun those days were. Nowadays, even if i have time to do such things, I don't really enjoy it. Im like whatever...
I also have trust issues, probably got a lot worse since i got here. I cant seem to trust anybody. Like when someone approaches me, i feel like they are going to take advantage of me or something. I do think it's irrational for me to think this way, but thats just how i feel, what can I do.
Anyone has similar stories or how they overcame depression? or is this really depression? Do people start to feel better after they finish law school? maybe take a leave of absence? actually start earning money?
I really appreciate your kindness... thank you