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Author Topic: breakup before/after bar exam?...  (Read 1738 times)

dubsy

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breakup before/after bar exam?...
« on: May 20, 2011, 10:53:39 AM »
my boyfriend and i just graduated this week from law school.  i've realized that i want to break up with him for the past few weeks now, but because of not wanting to jeopardize his concentration on finals, and the joy of graduation on the horizon, i haven't had the guts to do so.  now that graduation is over though, we have the bar exam ahead... in 2 months.  things are fine between us, so it wouldn't be like we were staying together in a tumultuous relationship if i decided not to end it before then.  but on the other hand, i think it's unfair to me to remain unhappy and to him to not have a genuine relationship for the next 2 months... although again, i don't want to jeopardize his focus on the bar exam (and of course mine, if it turns out to be a bad breakup).  i fear that if i do break up with him before then, HE might even be like, "couldn't you have at least waited till after???" 

Extremely tormented.  Not sure what to do.  Advice?  What would YOU do???
seeing king midas everywhere.

FalconJimmy

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Re: breakup before/after bar exam?...
« Reply #1 on: May 20, 2011, 10:57:03 AM »
Although my gut feeling is to say to break up the minute you know you need to, this might be an exceptional case.  If you feel like it might truly devastate him and make it harder for him to graduate, this might be one of those rare exceptions where I waited until after a significant even to drop this on him.

dubsy

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Re: breakup before/after bar exam?...
« Reply #2 on: May 21, 2011, 09:58:47 AM »
I have that gut feeling too... but I do agree this might be an "exceptional" case too.  Sigh.  Really, no other thoughts out there?   :-\
seeing king midas everywhere.

the white rabbit

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Re: breakup before/after bar exam?...
« Reply #3 on: May 21, 2011, 11:35:49 AM »
Extremely tormented.  Not sure what to do.  Advice?  What would YOU do???

I would not think about it for the next two months. Right before the bar is no time for needless distractions or drama.
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Kelly Li

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Re: breakup before/after bar exam?...
« Reply #4 on: May 22, 2011, 09:20:24 AM »
If I were you, I would wait and tell him that we'd better not see each other in the next two months so that we can prepare for the bar exam well. And after that, I would wait for him to break up with me... I think two months is long enough to reconsider the whole relationship.

BikePilot

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Re: breakup before/after bar exam?...
« Reply #5 on: May 25, 2011, 09:25:07 AM »
Its just a test and not even a terribly demanding one.  Actual practice is much more work and requires more care - you can screw up a huge portion of the test and pass, screwups aren't so well tolerated in the real world. I'd say get it over with now.
HLS 2010