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Author Topic: Law school stress and relationship  (Read 3531 times)

themman87

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Law school stress and relationship
« on: September 25, 2010, 03:06:36 AM »
I'm sure this is mentioned somewhere but! Long story short. My girlfriend of years left to law school a month ago, and within the first week she said we should take a break for at least year one is over. The old saying goes; let her free and if she comes back shes yours. I want to know if there were any success storys of getting back with your s.o. after you get use to the stress or so. Its my last year of college and its killing me.

amassherst

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Re: Law school stress and relationship
« Reply #1 on: September 30, 2010, 06:55:31 PM »
I know you asked for success stories, but I don't have one personally.  I'll share my story anyway.  I'm a 1L, like your girlfriend.  I'm a 1L just like your girlfriend, rather.  Not a 1L who likes your girlfriend.  I probably don't even know her.  Anyway, my girlfriend came to visit me after about two weeks of my being away at law school.  A couple of weeks later, I broke it all off.  The stress, the new long distance, the workload, the new friends, the new cool city, all of that contributed to the decision.  She started a new grad program, too, so she had all this newness, but not quite as much as I did.  It was the right decision because we had only been together for about six months and, honestly, there are some very attractive women in my law school and city. 

That being said, look at it as a blessing.  When she's in law school (even if you're not doing the long distance thing, although I take it that you are since you wrote that she "left" to law school), you'll probably be fighting a lot.  If you're not fighting a lot, you'll probably be missing each other a lot.  And she'll feel guilty that you're missing her and you'll both want the relationship to be how it used to be, but it just can't be.  Skype sucks because you can see the person but you can't touch them.  That makes it even worse than gchat for me.   

I know you have been together for years, which makes it hard.  But, if you're a traditional-age student, you must be 20-22, so very young.  You have a lot of living ahead.   Pursue your dreams just like she pursued hers and the rest will fall into place. 

Law school is a meat market.  Any chick with halfway decent looks has a Russian breadline of dudes trying to get a piece.  You don't want to be stressing all about that.  Have fun during your senior year with a relaxed mind.  Because, really, you want her to make new friends in law school but you don't want to be questioning whether she's boffing them all. 

Yes, maybe if it's meant to be, you'll be back together.  But if she's wanting to take a break after the first WEEK?  Um, yeah...

BikePilot

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Re: Law school stress and relationship
« Reply #2 on: October 16, 2010, 10:43:06 AM »
I was married when I started law school and am still married now.  As far as I know law school didn't strain the relationship at all.  I didn't find law school any more stressful than most anything else in life.  IMHO its probably less stressful than actually being a lawyer.

I don't know about the meat-market theory, IIRC there are more girls than guys in law school.
HLS 2010

bigs5068

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Re: Law school stress and relationship
« Reply #3 on: October 16, 2010, 08:47:25 PM »
Yea I would not say law school is any more stressful than anything else in life. It is hard, but far from impossible you read some cases and take some tests. I imagine over 1 million people have graduated from law school in the past 20 years so it can and is done. I know a lot of people that were in relationships when they started and still are to this day. I also know a lot of people that started with bf/gf's and did not stay together. However, people who are not in law school also go through break ups probably at the same rate. People are people and if a relationship can't survive a few years of school it probably would have ended for some other reason.

Haynes7

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Re: Law school stress and relationship
« Reply #4 on: October 17, 2010, 03:36:54 AM »
I know you asked for success stories, but I don't have one personally.  I'll share my story anyway.  I'm a 1L, like your girlfriend.  I'm a 1L just like your girlfriend, rather.  Not a 1L who likes your girlfriend.  I probably don't even know her.  Anyway, my girlfriend came to visit me after about two weeks of my being away at law school.  A couple of weeks later, I broke it all off.  The stress, the new long distance, the workload, the new friends, the new cool city, all of that contributed to the decision.  She started a new grad program, too, so she had all this newness, but not quite as much as I did.  It was the right decision because we had only been together for about six months and, honestly, there are some very attractive women in my law school and city. 

That being said, look at it as a blessing.  When she's in law school (even if you're not doing the long distance thing, although I take it that you are since you wrote that she "left" to law school), you'll probably be fighting a lot.  If you're not fighting a lot, you'll probably be missing each other a lot.  And she'll feel guilty that you're missing her and you'll both want the relationship to be how it used to be, but it just can't be.  Skype sucks because you can see the person but you can't touch them.  That makes it even worse than gchat for me.   

I know you have been together for years, which makes it hard.  But, if you're a traditional-age student, you must be 20-22, so very young.  You have a lot of living ahead.   Pursue your dreams just like she pursued hers and the rest will fall into place. 

Law school is a meat market.  Any chick with halfway decent looks has a Russian breadline of dudes trying to get a piece.  You don't want to be stressing all about that.  Have fun during your senior year with a relaxed mind.  Because, really, you want her to make new friends in law school but you don't want to be questioning whether she's boffing them all. 

Yes, maybe if it's meant to be, you'll be back together.  But if she's wanting to take a break after the first WEEK?  Um, yeah...

Thats a terrible thing to say about chicks and meat markets and whatnots.  Jeez grow up.  I know guys like you at my law school and they are super annoying, constantly whining about how ugly the girls are and generally trying to keep women-kind down.  If that is your strategy for beating out the competition then you are screwed.  These women are spending their spare time studying and not taking hours getting their hair perfect so you will be impressed.  You are bitter and stupid.  I hope you marry someone gorgeous who spends all her time "boffing" your friends and then sticks you will alimony payments. You deserve it.   

I doubt your girlfriend is getting off with someone else immediately.  She's probably broken up about the break up. 

Thane Messinger

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Re: Law school stress and relationship
« Reply #5 on: October 18, 2010, 03:05:50 AM »
I was married when I started law school and am still married now.  As far as I know law school didn't strain the relationship at all.  I didn't find law school any more stressful than most anything else in life.  IMHO its probably less stressful than actually being a lawyer.

Quite right.  One reason the law (both school and practice) are so hard on relationships is that there is stress.  How you both handle it is key.  A strong relationship will likely last, and perhaps be strengthened.  A weaker one . . . well, that's up to you both to determine, as painful as this might be to read.