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Author Topic: spouse and kids  (Read 2768 times)

lawrookie

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spouse and kids
« on: May 10, 2010, 10:08:41 PM »
I survived the first term  but am starting to feel strung out more this term. Is that normal for lawschool in general?
I dont think the text is harder just my ability to focus on it.
Same feeling with the spouse and kids.

This pretty common?

C4rd0z0Attack!

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Re: spouse and kids
« Reply #1 on: May 14, 2010, 02:35:49 PM »
yeah, during finals this Spring, I fought with my wife daily. I got four night classes and 30 hours/week of work. School is 1 hour away from my home. No energy! If I had kids too... I don't even know. (my wife is 19, so its like dealing with a kid sometimes, but don't tell her  ;)).

I mean, youve just gotta flow with it as best you can. You can't schedule with all these responsibilities unless you're some sort of control freak, and if you are, then you're dying inside with all of this. You just have to take some time here and there to give them love and attention. Also, talk to people in law school. Sometimes it makes you feel lonely and drains your motivation that no one in law school knows what you're going through at home, and no one at home knows what you're going through at law school. You've gotta talk to other lawyers and law school students, and you've gotta deliver some love to your family members.

Its hard, but find some motivation within in you for both family and law school, and keep going

legalized

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Re: spouse and kids
« Reply #2 on: May 16, 2010, 02:00:06 PM »
yeah, during finals this Spring, I fought with my wife daily. I got four night classes and 30 hours/week of work. School is 1 hour away from my home. No energy! If I had kids too... I don't even know. (my wife is 19, so its like dealing with a kid sometimes, but don't tell her  ;)).

I mean, youve just gotta flow with it as best you can. You can't schedule with all these responsibilities unless you're some sort of control freak, and if you are, then you're dying inside with all of this. You just have to take some time here and there to give them love and attention. Also, talk to people in law school. Sometimes it makes you feel lonely and drains your motivation that no one in law school knows what you're going through at home, and no one at home knows what you're going through at law school. You've gotta talk to other lawyers and law school students, and you've gotta deliver some love to your family members.

Its hard, but find some motivation within in you for both family and law school, and keep going

Wow why the one hour commute? Ouch.

cooleylawstudent

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Re: spouse and kids
« Reply #3 on: May 16, 2010, 02:59:51 PM »
I bet the 19 year old wife makes up for it though.  :-*

How old are you?(I've seen 70 year olds with 20 years olds more than once, that is for sure :o)

cvtheis

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Re: spouse and kids
« Reply #4 on: June 14, 2010, 09:47:20 AM »
It takes its toll on the family - I did it with 3 young ones and an extremely tolerant wife.  Looking back, I can see some of the negative impacts it had on the family.  If not going to a higher Tier school, consider the financial burden you are taking on, the sorry state of legal profession and career opportunities, and emotional toll on your family.  By nature someone going to law school is not a quitter; however, look at the big picture and consider the optimal path.

cooleylawstudent

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Re: spouse and kids
« Reply #5 on: June 14, 2010, 11:41:19 AM »
so you'd advice someone feeling stress would feel less stress if they quit part way into it and just had 5-6figures in debt with nothing to show for it and no better way to pay it off?

It takes its toll on the family - I did it with 3 young ones and an extremely tolerant wife.  Looking back, I can see some of the negative impacts it had on the family.  If not going to a higher Tier school, consider the financial burden you are taking on, the sorry state of legal profession and career opportunities, and emotional toll on your family.  By nature someone going to law school is not a quitter; however, look at the big picture and consider the optimal path.

cvtheis

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Re: spouse and kids
« Reply #6 on: June 14, 2010, 03:17:43 PM »
1 term and (very low) 5 figures in debt?  Then yes.  Especially if you are talking about compromising your family.  Kids need their dad around being a dad as much as possible.  I determined that I would not take a pay cut to work 80 hours a week at some firm - missing baseball games, going and having lunch at school, and generally just "being there."  I paid my dues, make good money, make bkfst for the kids when I dont have meeting or am not on the road.  THATS the important stuff.  If I was Marty McFly I would go back and tell myself drop out now - save the heartburn.  The education is nice, sense of accomplishment finishing top 20% and passing the bar feels good, the law school experience counts for something - but it was not worth the time away from home and the stress on the family. 

Better to be low-5 figures in debt with little to show for it than to be 6 figures in debt with a wrecked family, unmanagable financial situation, AND nothing to show for it.

As you know, my advice to anyone not going to a T1 and wracking up 6 figures of debt is to think twice about quitting now before they put themselves in a hole they cannot get out of.

If one is motivated to go to LS, then their personality is not to be a quitter - I get it.  Sometimes you need to step back and take a pragmatic and disinterested view of the facts of your situation and "adjust your plan."

so you'd advice someone feeling stress would feel less stress if they quit part way into it and just had 5-6figures in debt with nothing to show for it and no better way to pay it off?

It takes its toll on the family - I did it with 3 young ones and an extremely tolerant wife.  Looking back, I can see some of the negative impacts it had on the family.  If not going to a higher Tier school, consider the financial burden you are taking on, the sorry state of legal profession and career opportunities, and emotional toll on your family.  By nature someone going to law school is not a quitter; however, look at the big picture and consider the optimal path.

cooleylawstudent

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Re: spouse and kids
« Reply #7 on: June 14, 2010, 10:54:48 PM »
kids also need a dad who is able to support them and not just be some middle position go nowhere at best pee-on.
Lots of jobs require you to be away, lawschool is not worse than overtime at some factory or office gig. The only guys that are home all the time without a PHD tend to be 30hour a week guys who worry about keeping the lights turned on. Those families tend to  have their fare share of issues equal to if not beyond that of a lawstudent or a lawyer.

Toss in studentloans with no degree, that can't help.

Cicero

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Re: spouse and kids
« Reply #8 on: June 14, 2010, 11:16:04 PM »
I thought it was harder to juggle family (husband, no kids) and law school the second semester. Some of it seemed to be that our reading load doubled and that my husband and I knew what we were in for the 2nd semester--me being busy with LS practically all of the time.

cvtheis

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Re: spouse and kids
« Reply #9 on: June 15, 2010, 06:28:10 AM »
So you are saying law school is the ONLY other option or the BEST other option for a post grad career?  Again, unless going to a T1 or getting serious financial help, my answer is 'NO' to both.

Presently the unemployment rate for college grads is about 5%.  The unenployment rate for new JDs is about 10% - and climbing.  Tack $150K in debt and a messed up family and I can not see how it is a good choice.

kids also need a dad who is able to support them and not just be some middle position go nowhere at best pee-on.
Lots of jobs require you to be away, lawschool is not worse than overtime at some factory or office gig. The only guys that are home all the time without a PHD tend to be 30hour a week guys who worry about keeping the lights turned on. Those families tend to  have their fare share of issues equal to if not beyond that of a lawstudent or a lawyer.

Toss in studentloans with no degree, that can't help.