Survey on Polish jokes.
My name is Paweł Cymbalista. I live in Poland and I am a third year student of English philology. This year I am writing my BA degree paper on Polish-American jokes. I am conducting a survey concerning this issue and I would like to include your opinion in this study. This is anonymous questionnaire for research purpose only.
1. Provide the following information about yourself:
SEX (Male or Female):
EDUCATION (choose): none, primary, secondary, higher, graduate, other
2. Are you familiar with the term Polish joke ? Yes No
3. How many Polish jokes do you know?
4. What kind of Polish jokes do you know?
5. How do you understand the following Polish American jokes and anecdotes listed below.
a) Polish firing squad, stands in a circle.
b) New Polish navy has glass bottom boats, to see to the old Polish navy.
c) Polish kamikaze flew 48 successful missions.
d) Q. How do you sink a Polish battleship?
A. Put it in water.
e) Q. Have you seen the Polish mine detector.
A1: Put your fingers in your ears and start stamping the ground with your foot.
A2: Start backing up and waving the detector in front of you.
Polish, American, French, Russian, German, Black, White
a) A Pole, English, and French guy are running away from the German
soldiers when they come up to a forest and they decide to hide
climbing a tree. When the Germans arrive, they go to the first tree
where the English guy is, and shout, "We know you're up there; come
The English guy, thinking fast, says, "Twit, twit, twit..."
The Germans, thinking that it's a bird, move on to the next
tree where the French guy is and once again shout, "We know you're up
there; come down."
The French guy, thinking fast, says, "Woo, woo, woo..."
The Germans, thinking that it's an owl, move on to the next
tree where the Polish guy is and once again shout, "We know you're up
there; come down."
The Polish guy thinks for a while and then says, "Moo, moo,
b) Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a
Polak, and they get captured by some Amazons. The head of the tribe
says to the German, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?"
The German responds, "I will take oil!"
So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him 10
times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his
back, and he can hardly move.
The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Polak, "What
do you want on your back?"
"I will take nothing!" says the Polak, and he stands there
straight and takes his 10 lashings without a single flinch.
"What will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the
He responds, "I'll take the Polak!"
c) An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Polak were captured by the
Germans and thrown into prison. However, the guard was rather kind
towards them, and said, "I am going to lock you away for five years,
_but_ I'll let you have anything you want now before I lock you away."
The Englishman says, "I'll have five years' supply of beer!"
His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his beer.
The Frenchman says, "I'll have five years' supply of brandy!"
His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his brandy.
The Polak says, "I'll have five years' supply of cigarettes!"
His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his cigarettes.
Five years later, the Germans come to release their
prisoners. First, they release the Englishman, who staggers out
totally drunk. Then, they release the Frenchman, who also rolls out
rather inebriated. Then, they release the Polak, who comes out and
says, "Has anyone got a light?"
d) Three guys work on a construction site. One is white, one is black and one is Polish. The bell rings for lunch and the white man opens his lunch bag and sighs deeply, saying, "If my wife packs me a ham sandwich again tomorrow I'm jumping off the building." The black guy opens up his lunch, glares and says " If my wife packs me a ham sandwich again tomorrow, I'm going with you." The Polish man opens his lunch, pulls out another ham sandwich, and says "I'm with you guys."
The next day the lunch bell rings. The white man opens his lunch. He says, "Turkey sandwich. I love my wife." The black guy opens his lunch. He says, "Chicken sandwich. I love my wife. The Polish man opened his lunchbox, looked stricken, and said "HAM AGAIN! See ya guys." With that, he jumped off the building. The black guy says " I feel sorry for him." The white man replies, "I'm not, he packs his own lunch."
a) What do you call a Polish guy wearing an $500 hat? Pope.
b) What does it say on the bottom of a Polish soda can? "Open other end."
c) Did you hear about the lazy Pole? He married a pregnant woman.
d) How do you get a one armed Polak out of a tree? Wave to him.
e) These two Polish men rent a boat and go fishing in a lake. They are amazed at the number of fish that they caught that day, so one says to the other, "We'll have to come back here tomorrow!" The other asks, "But how will we remember where this spot is?"
The first guy then takes a can of spray paint, paints an X on the bottom of the boat, and says, "We'll just look for this X tomorrow." The other guy says, "You idiot! How do you know we'll get the same boat?"
f) Hear about the Polish 727 that crashed into a cemetery outside of Warsaw?
So far theyve recovered over 7000 bodies.
6. After reading these jokes what is your attitude towards Polish people.
7. Use three adjectives to describe the Poles presented in the jokes above.
8. Do you think that Polish jokes influence the image of Poland? Create a image of Poland and Polish people.