Guys: How Would You Feel if Fiance Wouldn't Change Her Last Name?

[CJScalia]

Personally, I would not be interested in a woman who felt like she needed to keep her last name.  I think that displays too much type-A behavior and there is only room for one type A in a relationship(I being the other type A).  But I would support a couple who chose to go with the woman's last name.

So, in short; You = more important than her.

Which is sort of the point I've been trying to make all the way through this thread.

But I absolutely LOATH people who hyphenate their names because they can't figure out what to do.  Because of their lack of ability to communicate effectively before marriage and make a decision they make the GENERAL PUBLIC suffer by having us pronounce extremely long last names.

Yeah, I loath people who treat both parties in a relationship as equals. How f-ing outrageous. And yeah, it's so difficult to pronounce words longer than 7 letters, I don't understand how this could ever work.

It is not only inefficient, but also pretentious.  What makes you feel like you are so important that people need to garbble out MULTIPLE last names to greet you formally.  And then the children being at school, having to explain why mommy and daddy have different names-  the whole thing is a mess.

Maybe in 1940 they did. Nowadays, nobody gives a *&^%. Nobody even gives a *&^% if you're a kid and you have two daddies.

At least not in the part of the country that believes in evolution. Not sure about your local area.

[Haynes7]

Gosh! You say that like its a bad thing! (I assume you meant estrogen)

Expect a whole bunch of self rightous estragin filled responces to that one.....

[cooleylawstudent]

I'm not a vagina doctor, so its just toxic waste to me.

Gosh! You say that like its a bad thing! (I assume you meant estrogen)

Expect a whole bunch of self rightous estragin filled responces to that one.....

[Haynes7]

    I agree that hyphenated names are awkward.  I also dislike them because it places the issue of picking a name on the next generation.  What happens when someone named "Brown-Stuber" marries a "Anderson-Leif"?  Do they become "Brown-Stuber-Anderson-Leif"?  It's impractical!
    I do not think it is very common for there to be a single breadwinner in families anymore.  Plus, you never know who will turn out to be the breadwinner.  My grandpa was the breadwinner for years and then he was unable to work anymore and my grandmother became the breadwinner.  Its simply not possibly to predict the economic contributions each partner will make to the relationship ahead of time.
    The decision of names and naming must be decided on a case by case basis based on the desires of preferences of those involved.  It turned out in my situation my husbands last name sounds AWFUL with my first name...I mean REALLY bad.  If his last name sounded good with my first name I might have taken it.  I'm not saying that in principle women ought to keep their maiden names, just that if she wants to keep her maiden name, he should respect that.    

Personally, I would not be interested in a woman who felt like she needed to keep her last name.  I think that displays too much type-A behavior and there is only room for one type A in a relationship(I being the other type A).  But I would support a couple who chose to go with the woman's last name.  

Really, there should be a new rule made that isnt gender specific. I propose, Whoever is the main breadwinner in the relationship should use their name.  So if you are a woman, and want to keep your last name- go on the search for a trophy stay at home type man (or school teacher)...  then everything is solved

But I absolutely LOATH people who hyphenate their names because they can't figure out what to do.  Because of their lack of ability to communicate effectively before marriage and make a decision they make the GENERAL PUBLIC suffer by having us pronounce extremely long last names.  It is not only inefficient, but also pretentious.  What makes you feel like you are so important that people need to garbble out MULTIPLE last names to greet you formally.  And then the children being at school, having to explain why mommy and daddy have different names-  the whole thing is a mess.

Just choose a name (for the entire family), and stick to it!

[the white rabbit]

Personally, I would not be interested in a woman who felt like she needed to keep her last name.  

You're in luck: such a woman would probably not be interested in you either. 

[cooleylawstudent]

screw it, lets all just go lezbo! You with me ladies!....

[CJScalia]

What the @#!* is with you people and bread anyway.

[cooleylawstudent]

don't know about "bread" but yeast can be suck a pain in the ....... 

What the @#!* is with you people and bread anyway.

[Trivium]

I wouldn't even get to the point where I was considering marriage with a woman who didn't want to take my last name. I'm not saying that we would even discuss it, I'm just saying that the type of woman that wouldn't take my last name or would try to make me hyphenate mine is not the type of girl I would end up with.

I get the whole equality thing, but IMO that's just making something way more out of it than it is. This is just the way it's always been done.

I wouldn't, however, have a problem with her keeping her own name. The kids would just be taking my name.

[cooleylawstudent]

yes since its the man, who legally decides the name of the kids....you really don't know how that works do you?

I wouldn't even get to the point where I was considering marriage with a woman who didn't want to take my last name. I'm not saying that we would even discuss it, I'm just saying that the type of woman that wouldn't take my last name or would try to make me hyphenate mine is not the type of girl I would end up with.

I get the whole equality thing, but IMO that's just making something way more out of it than it is. This is just the way it's always been done.

I wouldn't, however, have a problem with her keeping her own name. The kids would just be taking my name.