Guys: How Would You Feel if Fiance Wouldn't Change Her Last Name?

[mbw]

Yeah, your kids siblings names being different dosn't scream trailor park at all......that couldn't possibly complicate things....  

Yeah, because people from cultures throughout the world who don't use patriliny to trace descent always live in trailer parks. 

[SASS]

I didn't change my last name when I got married and many of my friends who are married have not either.  I just don't really see the point, I mean it is my name!  My husband didn't care one way or the other about it.  His family was a different story, at first, but I don't think they really care either. I think they just thought it was weird. I just couldn't imagine dating a guy that would actually attach importance to this, so I guess I have met my match. 

The only thing my husband cared about was whether the kids would get his name.  That was important to him because it is just his brother and he who carry on the name.  Given that I don't actually care about my name being carried on, or whether I have kids at all, the kids having his name doesn't matter to me.

[cooleylawstudent]

you better decide whether of not you want kids before you decide to name them. Otherwise it's like argueing what to name the aliens when they land on 2012. 

I didn't change my last name when I got married and many of my friends who are married have not either.  I just don't really see the point, I mean it is my name!  My husband didn't care one way or the other about it.  His family was a different story, at first, but I don't think they really care either. I think they just thought it was weird. I just couldn't imagine dating a guy that would actually attach importance to this, so I guess I have met my match. 

The only thing my husband cared about was whether the kids would get his name.  That was important to him because it is just his brother and he who carry on the name.  Given that I don't actually care about my name being carried on, or whether I have kids at all, the kids having his name doesn't matter to me.

[Haynes7]

Actually, obviously doesn't since both of them went to ivy league schools and one of them is now a professor of math. at Emory University.

Why are you so concerned about being from a trailer park anyway?  If you are smart, clever and hardworking no one is going to think there is anything wrong with you just because of your last name. 

How does the name complicate things?

And further more WHY should the woman take the man's name.  If you are so worried about inconsistency in the last name why don't you take your wife's name?  Women have sacrificed enough in the name of consistency.  I think it is time the men sacrifice for awhile   

Yeah, your kids siblings names being different dosn't scream trailor park at all......that couldn't possibly complicate things....

I'm not a guy but I want to give my two cents. 

I am married and I kept my own last name.  My husband was really cool about it and even offered to take MY last name. 

If he doesn't love you enough to let you keep your name do you think he will love you enough to get you through years and years of marriage?   

Any guy who needs a woman to change her name for his peace of mind is too insecure, insensitive and stupid to make a good husband any way.

As to the kid issue, you can always do what my aunt did and alternate last names.  It seems to work well for them.   

[cooleylawstudent]

Yeah, ok.....how about reperations to men for all the free food and shelter all these millenia then eh?  

[smm]

my husband when were just married and younger was insistant that i change my last name (and i did).  now he says he completely doesn't care (esp if the children have his last name with no hyphens)

[CJScalia]

my husband when were just married and younger was insistant that i change my last name (and i did).  now he says he completely doesn't care (esp if the children have his last name with no hyphens)

So he no longer loves you, but he still likes having his mark made on the children.

[cooleylawstudent]

Of course he "dosnt care" its done and over with. I "no longer care" what my undergrad teachers do, so what?  Unless you plan to change it back now, its a theory....

my husband when were just married and younger was insistant that i change my last name (and i did).  now he says he completely doesn't care (esp if the children have his last name with no hyphens)

[Luxhx77]

Personally, I would not be interested in a woman who felt like she needed to keep her last name.  I think that displays too much type-A behavior and there is only room for one type A in a relationship(I being the other type A).  But I would support a couple who chose to go with the woman's last name.  

Really, there should be a new rule made that isnt gender specific. I propose, Whoever is the main breadwinner in the relationship should use their name.  So if you are a woman, and want to keep your last name- go on the search for a trophy stay at home type man (or school teacher)...  then everything is solved

But I absolutely LOATH people who hyphenate their names because they can't figure out what to do.  Because of their lack of ability to communicate effectively before marriage and make a decision they make the GENERAL PUBLIC suffer by having us pronounce extremely long last names.  It is not only inefficient, but also pretentious.  What makes you feel like you are so important that people need to garbble out MULTIPLE last names to greet you formally.  And then the children being at school, having to explain why mommy and daddy have different names-  the whole thing is a mess.

Just choose a name (for the entire family), and stick to it!

[cooleylawstudent]

Expect a whole bunch of self rightous estragin filled responces to that one.....