Guys: How Would You Feel if Fiance Wouldn't Change Her Last Name?

[cooleylawstudent]

You wouldn't want your kids to have the same last name as you? Wouldn't that feel weird and detached? Wouldn't you get tired of people assumeing the kid was born as a bastard(the normal reason a woman does that)?

What about those who assume that the kid must be not yours but your husbands from a prior marriage? You really wouldn't want the same name as your kid?

Whatever you do, don't make your kids hyphenate their names.  I worked with a married girl who had a triple name.  (Dad's last name -Mom's last name - husband's last name.)

That's just not very cool.  And are her kids going to have the triple hyphen?  Eventually even a Quadruple hyphen?

Yeah I can see where hyphenated names work for lots of people! It definitely seems like an equitable solution. It doesn't appeal to me personally, though.  I would just give the children my husband's surname.

[cooleylawstudent]

Racist!

That's just not very cool.  And are her kids going to have the triple hyphen?  Eventually even a Quadruple hyphen?

I have a feeling that College Lacrosse and Soccer Jerseys are going to look pretty strange in the next few years.

[CJScalia]

@stareindecisis, you sound just like my boyfriend; Thanks so much for being honest when the easiest thing to do is stick to a PC response. That goes for everyone, actually.

There's a difference between being politically correct and not living in 1955. I know that makes me sound like an ass, but then again, this is why I tend to try to avoid the south

[CJScalia]

I'm happy my wife took my name.  I didn't really consider the overall consequences to society, but it is nice for my immediate family to all have the same last name.

Yes, and any concern she has for wanting to still be associated with her immediate family is of course of no concern at all.

In the words of the great Blackstone; "By marriage the husband and wife are one person in law; that is the very being or legal existence of the woman is suspended during the marriage, or at least is incorporated or consolidated into that of the husband".

It's really romantic isn't it?

(and yes, I realize this topic has been dead for a few days.)

[cooleylawstudent]

who even needs to dude....yeah you know what i mean....

[Sheshe]

This is just another way for men to try and control everything.  As women we give in entirely to easy. Guys tend to stick to their guns, and girls just try and keep everyone happy.  Why don't you ask him to take your name? I honestly don't see any reason why this would be the breaking point for any relationship though.  If it's something that you are serious about, I just believe tht they guy should respect your wishes.

[cooleylawstudent]

Yeah, don't let you dad walk you down the isle either, that's hitler crap! Don't let the chaplain make you say "to obey and cherrish"-slavery! Don't let him say "till death do you part" either, thats morbid, who thinks of that goolish stuff when there's babymakeing to do that night?

This is just another way for men to try and control everything.  As women we give in entirely to easy. Guys tend to stick to their guns, and girls just try and keep everyone happy.  Why don't you ask him to take your name? I honestly don't see any reason why this would be the breaking point for any relationship though.  If it's something that you are serious about, I just believe tht they guy should respect your wishes.

[Haynes7]

I'm not a guy but I want to give my two cents. 

I am married and I kept my own last name.  My husband was really cool about it and even offered to take MY last name. 

If he doesn't love you enough to let you keep your name do you think he will love you enough to get you through years and years of marriage?   

Any guy who needs a woman to change her name for his peace of mind is too insecure, insensitive and stupid to make a good husband any way.

As to the kid issue, you can always do what my aunt did and alternate last names.  It seems to work well for them.   

[cooleylawstudent]

Yeah, your kids siblings names being different dosn't scream trailor park at all......that couldn't possibly complicate things....

I'm not a guy but I want to give my two cents. 

I am married and I kept my own last name.  My husband was really cool about it and even offered to take MY last name. 

If he doesn't love you enough to let you keep your name do you think he will love you enough to get you through years and years of marriage?   

Any guy who needs a woman to change her name for his peace of mind is too insecure, insensitive and stupid to make a good husband any way.

As to the kid issue, you can always do what my aunt did and alternate last names.  It seems to work well for them.   

[cooleylawstudent]

In the service woman tended to keep it(but not all) just to make it easier, that being said


You do realise that you still have your daddies last name right? Your still stamped with a dudes name. You want to be all "free" do what the slaves did, make your own. "barbi X" or whatever....