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Author Topic: Guys: How Would You Feel if Fiance Wouldn't Change Her Last Name?  (Read 14861 times)

cooleylawstudent

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Re: Guys: How Would You Feel if Fiance Wouldn't Change Her Last Name?
« Reply #40 on: May 08, 2010, 04:42:04 PM »
I can think of several,

bittch,kunt,dikeintraining.......but he probally just meant "princess angel".


I wouldn't even get to the point where I was considering marriage with a woman who didn't want to take my last name. I'm not saying that we would even discuss it, I'm just saying that the type of woman that wouldn't take my last name or would try to make me hyphenate mine is not the type of girl I would end up with.

I get the whole equality thing, but IMO that's just making something way more out of it than it is. This is just the way it's always been done.

I wouldn't, however, have a problem with her keeping her own name. The kids would just be taking my name.

Exactly what is "the type of woman" who wouldn't take your last name? Feel free to use lots of adjectives.

This mindset just absolutely kills me. Let's examine the words you used: "wouldn't take" and "would try to make me hyphenate mine".

Not "wouldn't want to take" but "wouldn't take" implying that you're giving it, no matter what she wants, and not only has she got no choice in the matter, even if she did her choice means nothing. And "would try to make me hyphenate mine" means a level of force coming from her, that you're perfectly free to resist. It's like there's no discussion in the matter, no exchange of ideas, and the outcome is set simply because you say it is. Let me get this straight: you want a woman who would be perfectly happy being steamrolled into whatever you want, and who has no ideas or desires of her own? Am I off-base on that? Because I certainly hope that I am. I really hope that people today have grown beyond that kind of foolishness.

Trivium

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Re: Guys: How Would You Feel if Fiance Wouldn't Change Her Last Name?
« Reply #41 on: May 11, 2010, 08:21:35 AM »
I wouldn't even get to the point where I was considering marriage with a woman who didn't want to take my last name. I'm not saying that we would even discuss it, I'm just saying that the type of woman that wouldn't take my last name or would try to make me hyphenate mine is not the type of girl I would end up with.

I get the whole equality thing, but IMO that's just making something way more out of it than it is. This is just the way it's always been done.

I wouldn't, however, have a problem with her keeping her own name. The kids would just be taking my name.

Exactly what is "the type of woman" who wouldn't take your last name? Feel free to use lots of adjectives.

This mindset just absolutely kills me. Let's examine the words you used: "wouldn't take" and "would try to make me hyphenate mine".

Not "wouldn't want to take" but "wouldn't take" implying that you're giving it, no matter what she wants, and not only has she got no choice in the matter, even if she did her choice means nothing. And "would try to make me hyphenate mine" means a level of force coming from her, that you're perfectly free to resist. It's like there's no discussion in the matter, no exchange of ideas, and the outcome is set simply because you say it is. Let me get this straight: you want a woman who would be perfectly happy being steamrolled into whatever you want, and who has no ideas or desires of her own? Am I off-base on that? Because I certainly hope that I am. I really hope that people today have grown beyond that kind of foolishness.

I primarily meant someone who was laid back. My current GF is laid back and doesn't care about this type of thing and that's one of the reasons she's still my girlfriend. Also note that I ultimately said she could keep her own name if she wanted to, I just want my kids to have my name. My primary problem is that I think it's selfish for the parents to give their kids hyphenated names or have different names than them.

mbw

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Re: Guys: How Would You Feel if Fiance Wouldn't Change Her Last Name?
« Reply #42 on: May 11, 2010, 08:30:24 AM »

I primarily meant someone who was laid back. My current GF is laid back and doesn't care about this type of thing and that's one of the reasons she's still my girlfriend. Also note that I ultimately said she could keep her own name if she wanted to, I just want my kids to have my name. My primary problem is that I think it's selfish for the parents to give their kids hyphenated names or have different names than them.

Why bother hyphenating the kids' names?  My children have my name -- my spouse's name is hyphenated.  Why is your name more worthy than hers?
I'm in a lynch mob?  I had no idea.  This is really worrying; I really don't have time for another extra-curricular activity.

space for rent.

cooleylawstudent

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Re: Guys: How Would You Feel if Fiance Wouldn't Change Her Last Name?
« Reply #43 on: May 11, 2010, 08:51:11 PM »
I will ask you the same question, why is your name "more important" than your wifes? Clearly you think that way for multiple reasons.
1) You made sure your kids had yours and not hers(why?)
2) You made her attach yours to  hers and not just leave it alone(why?)
3) You didnt mention adding hers to yours(why?)



I primarily meant someone who was laid back. My current GF is laid back and doesn't care about this type of thing and that's one of the reasons she's still my girlfriend. Also note that I ultimately said she could keep her own name if she wanted to, I just want my kids to have my name. My primary problem is that I think it's selfish for the parents to give their kids hyphenated names or have different names than them.

Why bother hyphenating the kids' names?  My children have my name -- my spouse's name is hyphenated.  Why is your name more worthy than hers?

mbw

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Re: Guys: How Would You Feel if Fiance Wouldn't Change Her Last Name?
« Reply #44 on: May 13, 2010, 12:24:05 AM »
I will ask you the same question, why is your name "more important" than your wifes? Clearly you think that way for multiple reasons.
1) You made sure your kids had yours and not hers(why?)
2) You made her attach yours to  hers and not just leave it alone(why?)
3) You didnt mention adding hers to yours(why?)



I primarily meant someone who was laid back. My current GF is laid back and doesn't care about this type of thing and that's one of the reasons she's still my girlfriend. Also note that I ultimately said she could keep her own name if she wanted to, I just want my kids to have my name. My primary problem is that I think it's selfish for the parents to give their kids hyphenated names or have different names than them.

Why bother hyphenating the kids' names?  My children have my name -- my spouse's name is hyphenated.  Why is your name more worthy than hers?

My spouse is biologically male, I'm biologically female, so in most states in the US, I'm designated as the wife.  Thus, the kids have the "wife's" name.  Did I clear that up, or were you addressing Trivium... hard to tell with your strange formatting and lack of specificity.
I'm in a lynch mob?  I had no idea.  This is really worrying; I really don't have time for another extra-curricular activity.

space for rent.

cooleylawstudent

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Re: Guys: How Would You Feel if Fiance Wouldn't Change Her Last Name?
« Reply #45 on: May 13, 2010, 12:56:40 AM »
Are you trying to tell me that your kids dont have your husbands name,but the guy hypenated with your name? Did you hypeate with his?

I will ask you the same question, why is your name "more important" than your wifes? Clearly you think that way for multiple reasons.
1) You made sure your kids had yours and not hers(why?)
2) You made her attach yours to  hers and not just leave it alone(why?)
3) You didnt mention adding hers to yours(why?)



I primarily meant someone who was laid back. My current GF is laid back and doesn't care about this type of thing and that's one of the reasons she's still my girlfriend. Also note that I ultimately said she could keep her own name if she wanted to, I just want my kids to have my name. My primary problem is that I think it's selfish for the parents to give their kids hyphenated names or have different names than them.

Why bother hyphenating the kids' names?  My children have my name -- my spouse's name is hyphenated.  Why is your name more worthy than hers?

My spouse is biologically male, I'm biologically female, so in most states in the US, I'm designated as the wife.  Thus, the kids have the "wife's" name.  Did I clear that up, or were you addressing Trivium... hard to tell with your strange formatting and lack of specificity.

mbw

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Re: Guys: How Would You Feel if Fiance Wouldn't Change Her Last Name?
« Reply #46 on: May 13, 2010, 09:41:07 AM »
Are you trying to tell me that your kids dont have your husbands name,but the guy hypenated with your name? Did you hypeate with his?

1) yes, yes. 2) no.
I'm in a lynch mob?  I had no idea.  This is really worrying; I really don't have time for another extra-curricular activity.

space for rent.

cooleylawstudent

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Re: Guys: How Would You Feel if Fiance Wouldn't Change Her Last Name?
« Reply #47 on: May 13, 2010, 12:49:40 PM »
Either you are just lieing to sound funny, or your husband is the saddest sack of shitt on the planet, either way is fine with me. What is he  a unic?



Are you trying to tell me that your kids dont have your husbands name,but the guy hypenated with your name? Did you hypeate with his?

1) yes, yes. 2) no.

mbw

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Re: Guys: How Would You Feel if Fiance Wouldn't Change Her Last Name?
« Reply #48 on: May 13, 2010, 11:26:33 PM »
Either you are just lieing to sound funny, or your husband is the saddest sack of shitt on the planet, either way is fine with me. What is he  a unic?


I suspect that guys with balls, or better yet, actual self-worth, are generally the ones who don't need to parade their wives and children around as possessions to enhance their otherwise lacking personal and professional value.  Google lists over 9000 unique entries on my spouse, and that was after he took my name (20 years into his career.)  And after five kids, the last spawned at age 50, I think eunuch is probably out of the realm of possibility.  ::)

I like my name, I carried and birthed the kids, and my spouse and I both come from non-western matri-matri cultures.  It's really your problem you expect the real world to conform to your little corner of dying patriarchy. 
I'm in a lynch mob?  I had no idea.  This is really worrying; I really don't have time for another extra-curricular activity.

space for rent.

cooleylawstudent

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Re: Guys: How Would You Feel if Fiance Wouldn't Change Her Last Name?
« Reply #49 on: May 14, 2010, 02:26:48 AM »
Yes, and the only reason Obama ran for prez is because he's a scared little boys seeking approval..... :'(



Either you are just lieing to sound funny, or your husband is the saddest sack of shitt on the planet, either way is fine with me. What is he  a unic?


I suspect that guys with balls, or better yet, actual self-worth, are generally the ones who don't need to parade their wives and children around as possessions to enhance their otherwise lacking personal and professional value.  Google lists over 9000 unique entries on my spouse, and that was after he took my name (20 years into his career.)  And after five kids, the last spawned at age 50, I think eunuch is probably out of the realm of possibility.  ::)

I like my name, I carried and birthed the kids, and my spouse and I both come from non-western matri-matri cultures.  It's really your problem you expect the real world to conform to your little corner of dying patriarchy.