Cliche?

[greengirl10]

Anyone want to tell me whether they think my text in bold is a bad idea? I'm on the fence.

After gaining invaluable nonprofit experience, I joined the [Gov't Agency] as a pollution control specialist to learn another perspective on environmental protection. Most of my time is spent researching and interpreting the vast number of federal and state air quality regulations and EPA testing methodology. I have since realized that regulations are seldom black and white and are actually varying intensities of gray. Even so, regulated parties require definitive answers and I am charged with creating them. Though this poses a challenge, I enjoy deciphering regulations and even distilling a number of regulations into one cohesive understanding. Through this process, I have developed excellent analytical skills ripe for law school.

[MauveAvenger]

Yes.

[EarlCat]

Yes.  I bet, however, you can find a more profound realization regarding regulations, and that will go a long way in improving your PS.  Also, make sure there is a bit in here about YOU as a person and not just the skills you've acquired.  Your GPA and LSAT will indicate (at least they think it will) how prepared you are for law school.  Your PS needs to show how you, the person, will be a valuable part in the incoming class.

[greengirl10]

Thanks guys for the feedback! No longer on the fence!

[writetrackad]

Greengirl,

That does read very cliche.  Instead of speaking in gross generalities, why not expressly state how policies are generally more nuanced, complex, or in other words, grey?  Be specific, and make sure your language is polished and precise.  Cliche langauge can undermine your personal statement, and as a former admissions officer, I can personally attest to that.

If you need further help with your statement, please contact me directly.

Kal | Write Track Admissions