PS topic too cliche?

[j_chouu]

Or better question: how could i refine it to be less cliche? (This is merely a starting point in the development of my PS), any feedback at all would be appreciated

general synopsis:

All of my older cousins, as well as my cousin the same age as myself are either doctors already or are on their way to becoming one (4 of them, and then me). I am the first, and only in the string to not become a doctor, which was synonymous with slapping my dad in the face. He immigrated to the US in his 20's and could have been very successful in medical school had he gone, but because of the lack of a green card, he was ineligible. For the longest time I thought he was me into healthcare profession (doctor/dentist), and I thought it was so he could have bragging rights regarding who raised the best kid with the biggest salary. I decided against that and thought I could be achieve equal financial success through business. However, during my studies, and after becoming a more avid reader, I realized that financial goals were not the only meaning of my life.... I would the continue into the portion where i explain why i want to go to law school (which i have yet to articulate, but I know the general reason is based on me wanting to learn more about laws)


again, any feedback would be great. thanks

[elle-y]

*yawn*

talking about becoming a lawyer for money...or not for money...is the last thing adcoms want you to care about. they want you to care about yourself, your achievements, your goals, and maybe a little about your faults.

you must have something worthwhile to say other than "i'm in this because I like to read".

[NYCFed]

I would the continue into the portion where i explain why i want to go to law school (which i have yet to articulate, but I know the general reason is based on me wanting to learn more about laws)

My understanding is that this (overtly stating why you want to go to law school) would belong more in a statement of purpose ("why I want to go to law school") more than a personal statement ("this is why I'm hot").
I see very few reasons that you can directly state to an adcom that they either haven't seen a thousand times or will not think is disingenuous, and that a solid personal statement should give them an idea of why law school is right for you or why you're right for law school.
Am I wrong on this?

[js11287]

Not to diminish what was undoubtedly a difficult choice for you, I would advise against writing the PS as you outlined it here. It sounds a little trite. If you must talk about your family and your father immigrating and wanting you to be a doctor, try to find a way to make it more interesting than simply, "he wanted me to be a doctor but I'm not." If you need to talk about his background and stuff, maybe discuss the way that his immigrating has affected your values or what is important to you, or the challenges you face being a first generation in your family, or how his experiences have made you want to be an advocate for immigration, marginalized groups-anything. Also, if you must include "this is why I want to go to law school," you probably shouldn't say its just because you want to "learn more about laws." Anyone with wikipedia can do that.

[haulin_oats]

D+

[saks5th]

I pretty much agree with most of the comment--a PERSONAL statement is about you and who you are. Just think of the personal statement as a "get to know you." You have to sell yourself to the law schools, why they should pick you, most people applying have similar GPAs and LSAT, so use your PS to distinguish yourself. Also the personal statement is about showcasing your communication and writing style.

So just think about all this when you come up with a topic--I think it is always better to pick a particular moment, or create your own questions like: what was one profound experience I had?, what is one difficult decision I had to make?, what was an obstacle I overcame?, what was the most interesting experience I had and how does this make me ready for law school? If you want, I can read your PS.

Good luck, I just finished writing mine, and I know it can be a female dog(it took me a whole month to write 2 1/2 pages)and I am still editing it every time I read it

[MauveAvenger]

I agree. I'd scrap this topic and start from scratch. Talk about one of your jobs/extracurriculars/etc, and how you define your contributions to it or how it has helped define you. Give them something more than "I stood up to my parents' wishes!"

[j_chouu]

thanks, i think i was regretting that post 10 minutes after i put it up (i was too lazy to remove it)