How are single parents financing law school?

[novvy]

Hi Singlemomma76,
Hmm, well, seems like this thread has taken a little turn? Has anyone answered your question yet?  JK
I actually really identify with what you're going through though our situations are a bit different. I have a two and a half year old that I have stayed at home with from day one but have been wanting to apply to law school for a while, all the time feeling a bit guilty that I will be away from him for my own ambitions. Putting him in daycare or w/ babysitter isn't something that I want to do so, after a few months of soul searching, I came up with a pretty simple solution---I'LL JUST WAIT! I'm going to wait a little while until he's older and in school. Your kids are 3 and 4...so another year, maybe two, they will be in kindergarten and preschool for most of the day, right? Also, in the meantime, maybe make some arrangements with your work so that you could work part time and go to law school part time. Or start looking into loans that would make it easier to go to school and not have to work to support your family during that crucial first year. That way, you will have a little piece of mind about being around more for your kids and still doing your best in school, ie better chance of a good job/salary. There are LOTS of ways to get to your goals. Start researching and ask questions of which law programs would be the best bit for your family and your life situation and begin applying to those. Can't hurt right?
 Best of luck. I hope that you find the right answer for you and your children. And remember, where there's a will, there's a way!

[littlegirlblue57]

You need to pursue something that you enjoy in order to best take care of your children.  Moreover, your children are only a few years away from being in school most of the day so it isn't impossible or horrible for you to pursue a higher education.  As long as you make sure to spend time with them while they're home with you, they'll know you have their needs in mind.  Besides, that's more than a lot of kids get from parents who don't care about them even though they're home all day.  Many stay-at-home parents could care less about their kids and don't even give them "good" care.  Quality far outweighs quantity within reasonable limits. 

Should we say that fathers in two-parent, traditional situations shouldn't go to work because they'd be away from their children all day? Wouldn't that be great?  We'd have two people home all day eating off of welfare checks and food stamps!  That's a fantastic answer, don't you think? 

Truly, you need to pursue what you think is best for you and the kids.  You'll find your way.  Do the best you can - that's all that you can do as a parent. 

[archival]

Loans, grants and scholarships. I would only recommend part-time to be with your children. I would not recommend working - at least not the first year.

Agreed.  Schools will adjust financial aid packages to account for special circumstances like childcare needs.  Also, schools associated with a larger university may have high-quality subsidized childcare options.  Check into them early -- many have long waitlists.

Also, people who don't have kids, and those who have no expertise or educational background in child development, childhood education, or child psych, will continue to offer unsolicited advice in law school.  Law students tend to overestimate the stupidity of everybody else, too, so breeders get lots of emphatic, well-intentioned advice about parenting and priorities.  If you are not generally quick with the withering responses, I recommend practicing your best grateful nod/smile combo in the mirror before school starts.  They really do mean well, I think, and most times it is just not worth the time to do anything other than move on and have faith in karma.

[ksully]

Yea, but Matthies, that isnt the question.  Its not if the woman can handle it, but how her kid copes with having an absent parent.

And to freak...I actually do know a single parent who went through law school while her son was a toddler... she did very well, bought a house in marin while working in a decent law firm in SF.  Her son was my roommate as an undergrad and dropped out as a sophmore due to having a heroin addiction.  He absolutely hated his mother, and had major problems with self-esteem.

I also have a cousin who passed away from Methadone when he was 23.  Almost the same story... wealthy background but absent parents, no love, no discipline... both got into it around 12-14 cuz no one was around. 

The idea that people can have it all is a complete myth.  Everyone only has 24 hours to a day.  If you decide to have children, that necessitates sacrifices in other areas of life... thats just a fact.

Let this be warning:

I know THREE families who each had a stay at home parent, yet their children also had drug problems. Therefore, if a parent does not go to lawschool, there is a 100% chance their children will have a drug problem. 

[saradsun]

sure sara... typical that you would be in Berkeley.  Whats funny is that if you went to an animal shelter to get a dog around Cal and told them you were in your first year of law school and single... you would be rejected.  They wouldnt allow you to adopt an animal.  And Rightly so...  Because it is cruel to have a puppy and be gone 8-12 hours a day everyday.  But a woman with a 3 or 4 year old... who are we to judge?

 

Wow, what logical reasoning. I go to Berkeley and because of that you make some pretty stupid assumptions. I hope that logic does well for you in your career.

For the record, I'm 40 years old, lived in the midwest my whole life (until law school), and have 5 kids. Who I stayed home with for most of their early childhood. 2.5 is the earliest any of them went to daycare (one didn't go til 7) and I breastfeed all 5, the last 2 for 2 years each.

Berkeley happened to give me a FANTASTIC scholarship. But, I'm sure to you, the fact that I go to law school with kids (OMG BERKELEY!) totally invalidates any of my opinions or experiences.

[Angry Gorilla]

sure sara... typical that you would be in Berkeley.  Whats funny is that if you went to an animal shelter to get a dog around Cal and told them you were in your first year of law school and single... you would be rejected.  They wouldnt allow you to adopt an animal.  And Rightly so...  Because it is cruel to have a puppy and be gone 8-12 hours a day everyday.  But a woman with a 3 or 4 year old... who are we to judge?

 

Wow, what logical reasoning. I go to Berkeley and because of that you make some pretty stupid assumptions. I hope that logic does well for you in your career.

For the record, I'm 40 years old, lived in the midwest my whole life (until law school), and have 5 kids. Who I stayed home with for most of their early childhood. 2.5 is the earliest any of them went to daycare (one didn't go til 7) and I breastfeed all 5, the last 2 for 2 years each.

Berkeley happened to give me a FANTASTIC scholarship. But, I'm sure to you, the fact that I go to law school with kids (OMG BERKELEY!) totally invalidates any of my opinions or experiences.

Berkeley should teach you how to argue relevant points.  How about refuting his argument about animal shelters rather than bragging about your history of breast feeding toddlers?

[Matthies]

sure sara... typical that you would be in Berkeley.  Whats funny is that if you went to an animal shelter to get a dog around Cal and told them you were in your first year of law school and single... you would be rejected.  They wouldnt allow you to adopt an animal.  And Rightly so...  Because it is cruel to have a puppy and be gone 8-12 hours a day everyday.  But a woman with a 3 or 4 year old... who are we to judge?

 

Wow, what logical reasoning. I go to Berkeley and because of that you make some pretty stupid assumptions. I hope that logic does well for you in your career.

For the record, I'm 40 years old, lived in the midwest my whole life (until law school), and have 5 kids. Who I stayed home with for most of their early childhood. 2.5 is the earliest any of them went to daycare (one didn't go til 7) and I breastfeed all 5, the last 2 for 2 years each.

Berkeley happened to give me a FANTASTIC scholarship. But, I'm sure to you, the fact that I go to law school with kids (OMG BERKELEY!) totally invalidates any of my opinions or experiences.

Berkeley should teach you how to argue relevant points.  How about refuting his argument about animal shelters rather than bragging about your history of breast feeding toddlers?

I would not turn down someone adopting a pet because they were in law school. But if they told me they needed to study/be gone 12 hours a day for it then I would likely turn them down for being too dumb to own a pet. This *&^% isn’t rocket science. If you need 12 hours a day everyday to figure it out maybe that’s a good sign you should try a different profession. 

[saradsun]

Berkeley should teach you how to argue relevant points.  How about refuting his argument about animal shelters rather than bragging about your history of breast feeding toddlers?

Oh, that was an "argument?" LOL. Ok. Look some people like to tell other people what they should do. You and the previous poster seem to think that you have enough life experience to tell a single mother what to do. I doubt either of you really do. Pets, though, yeah, maybe you both have enough life experience to give advice about pets. Gerbils maybe?

[Luxhx77]

Congrats to you Matthies, you are a super law student who knows which items to skim through.  My classes generally assign readings that require 3 hours of study time for every hour of lecture... so 15 credits correlates to around 60 hours... and then law review/journals/clinics usually take up more time than that.  But that is awesome that you are so good, I am sure you are a superior man than I. 

And I gave anecdotal items because so many others were giving their personal stories.  There's no doubt some parents are so inept raising children that you could have both of them in the house 24/7 and the kids still would be F'd.  I still maintain that it is selfish to undertake law school/med school/and anything else that requires 60+ hours a week (20 hrs tops if you are of Matthies genius law man level) while being a single mother.  If you want the kids, spend time with the kids...

And I am not saying a woman must choose between law and having children.  I fully support women going out and getting themselves a trophy stay-at-home husband. 

And to the Berkeley animal shelter thing.  I am not exaggerating-  even Matthies of the 20 hour law school study/50+ hr internet commenting schedule couldn't get a puppy.  They hear law school and they say no way.   

[TaxLaw2010]

You know, this is the silliest thread I've ever read.  If you are a single mother, you have to support your children some how.  I am a single, divorced mother of four children, a CFO (which consumes way more than 60 hours per week), an elected official (which consumes a lot of time as well), and I still find time for my children.  In fact, I would argue that attending law school would allow you to have more time with your children, than working a demanding, executive level job.  Bottom line, if you want to go to law school, kids or not, you will find a way to do it.  I went through my MBA program in a Top 10 PT program, while working FT as an AVP for a major financial institution, and I managed.  Now I am a CFO, my children are in grade school, and in a year, I plan to leave my position to pursue law school.  I am actually looking forward to it because I will have way more time for my family than I have now working 60-80 hours per week at my job.

To the original OP - Do you.  Don't let anyone tell you that you can't possibly do something because it's too hard, or make you feel bad for what you are choosing to do.  You have to live your life for you, otherwise, you will look back on your life and have regrets.  Best of luck in whatever it is you decide to do.