Exilcest LSD: Where The Rubber Meets The Road

[Scentless Apprentice]

HAHAHA, PJC, it was truly my intent to be sarcastic in a facetious manner, like Thales said he was being.

Sorry it went over your head.

I do appreciate the constant attempts (and eye rolls from you) to find some hypocrisy in my thread and my intents. If you're human, you're a hypocrite.

  

[Scentless Apprentice]

Oh, that was facetious? Who knew. Sarcasm implies negativity and/or ridicule, no matter how in jest it may be.

Now I suggest you do yourself a favor and go post your incredibly insightful comments in some other thread.

remeber that post I made about not getting to excited/reading stuff into other posts too much. BREATH, GO TO HAPPY PLACE

Ha, no, I gotcha, Matties. Since Thales was sarcastic by calling my recent topic "brilliantly intersting" or something like that, I told him to take his "incredibly insightful" comments elsewhere. I think we all know that Thales is a goofball.

[Scentless Apprentice]

Horrible story to follow.

I'm currently in Vegas, visiting a friend. It's f-ucking 9:30pm and shes passed out drunk in her room. Quite a welcoming.

This morning I had a lot of stuff to do before I left for Vegas. One of those things was to send a package at the post office.

I have a shed at my house. It's in the backyard..it's very convenient..lots of shelves for storage, etc. That's where I keep my bubble wrap, boxes, etc.

About a week ago I was in the bathroom with the window open..and I heard some meowing..but a very soft meowing, the meow that only a kitten can speak. I looked out the window, and sure enough, there was a kitten running in my driveway.

I see strays every once in a while, but never a kitten. I thought, jeez, I hope that little thing stays tough in this s-hitty neighborhood.

A couple of days later I remember hearing this same meowing in my backyard, coming from what I thought was around the bushes. Looked for kitty..didnt see anything.

Fast forward to today. I go to the shed to get my bubble wrap. I open the door. There..on the floor of the shed..laying perfectly horizontal with the door...is the cutest little black kitten. It was dead.

I said 'KITTY', and I slammed the door of the shed, and then reopened it..hoping it would maybe move..but I knew it was dead. When I reopened the door..the stillness was so f-ucking brutal. I felt tears coming..but they didnt. I put my hands to my head and started walking towards my house.

I couldnt believe it. The f-ucking little kitty had somehow gotten in my shed..maybe when I was getting something a few days earlier..although I only remember getting a folding chair out so I could sit in the sun...and I closed the door behind me. I never leave the door open.

The little kitty was laying there dead...in a perfect straight line, matching how the door would close. It was by the door when it finally died of dehydration after probably like 3 or 4 days (I'm guessing). I only glanced at it right when I opened the door, and then again after I had slammed the door shut and reopened it. I could tell that it had pissed itself while laying down. It never got to live its life because I got a f-ucking folding chair to sit on while sunbathing. When I heard it meowing in the yard...it was coming from the shed..and I didnt know.

I had to call my dad to come over to remove it. He made the comment "I don't think it's been dead for long."

I know this is only an animal, and it doesnt quite hold the value that human life holds. But still..it's so representative to me of the world, and reality. I've been facing a very tough decision recently that will definitely have an impact on the rest of my life..and today I've been thinking..my god..I better make the right decision..it can end so easily..so quickly..life can be snuffed from you. F=uck everything, do what you want? Is that the answer to such nonsense, to such unfairness? If you perceive life as short, and possibly as very fragile, do you live differently? Do you use this information to make decisions that you might not otherwise make?

I have that image frozen in my head...the black kitten..laying perfectly still on its side..right by the door. So close to fresh air..and water..so close.

[Matthies]

that's really sad, sorry you had to go through that.

[Scentless Apprentice]

Thanks, Matthies. I'm going to hate going in that shed now.

[Scentless Apprentice]

I'm in a very reflective period of my life, and I don't really have the space for this right now.

But, on one interesting note related to legal work - I ran into a friend of mine from high school. He went to a T4, and told me he recently started his own practice with a fellow friend from his T4. He gave me his card and I went on his site, looks pretty decent.

The one thing he told me is that he's constantly in court, and barely gets any sleep. Now..he just passed the bar..so..I'm really curious as to how things are working out. We're going to get together soon and I'm going to ask a bunch of questions..mainly: how do you get clients, and how much is your malpractice insurance?

If you read this board enough, you'd think such a thing wasnt possible. Or, even if it was, that it's a sure way to set yourself up for failure. I will report back.

[Scentless Apprentice]

Curious thing, this life. I mean..we're all here..for a reason we really don't know, though we may think we know at times..but ultimately, it appears to defy logic. Thanks Einstein. You know what Einstein said about life? He said that the things that made him able to go about his days cheerfully were: truth, beauty, and goodness. Do any of those things really exist? I mean, come on, it's highly subjective.

Many people claim that love is quite important in life. Remember that one Beatles song? But..I've loved..and I'm loved (as hard as it may be to believe, I do know that I'm loved for a fact)..it's not really doing that much for me. I've been IN love..now that's something. You know what..it wasnt really all that special. 

So..what is the answer for this kind of discontent? Alcohol? Maybe. But that would only be a bandaid. Heroin? Probably getting warmer. Perhaps a person can try to seek out their niche..you know..find what makes them happy and try to do that everyday. What a silly notion! 

Maybe I should adopt some children? Download some apps? I mean, I'm up for anything. I just have a feeling that there really isnt a point to life. Honestly, the sun will continue to come up for however long it continues to come up, and nothing that is ever done by anyone really, really means anything.

Isnt there that ol' cliche of some geriatric on their death bed..and what do they typically say? I wish I had done this, I wish I had done that, blah blah, and in the end it's really about spending time with your friends and your family. B-ullshit! Those people are confused from their disapointment over their impending death.

AHHHHHHH!!!! You know what? I had to type this out just to get to the answer...religion! That's what I need. I will accept a religious belief into my heart, and then put all my faith in it. Then, if I ever get negative like I am right now..I can just think about my relgious beliefs..and I can find some solace.

I'm thinking something biblical, you know, like christianity. Should Christ be capitalized? I'll gladly capitalize it..Christianity. I'll get back to you.   

[Scentless Apprentice]

Well, I'm not religious yet. But I just thought of something.

Remember the cat incident from a few posts ago? Why the f-uck would god let that happen? How is that part of his plan? I think it's further proof of my example that life is meaningless. What kind of god would let a little kitty die in a shed? Forget Africa and all that, I'm talking about what's happened in my own backyard! That bible is going to have a lot of explaining to do.

[Scentless Apprentice]

Ok, so why would god let the kitty die such a horrible death? And why would god allow so many children to starve in Africa? Where was god during World War I? II? The Civil War?

Well, god was letting man govern himself. You see, in the Garden of Eden, a rogue angel approached Eve. This angel told Eve that she could be as wise and strong as god, if only she ate the fruit from the forbidden tree. Eve ate the fruit, and so did her loser SO, Adam.

At this point, god was very upset. He banished them from the garden. He suppossedly threw this rogue angel into an "abyss". His thinking here is, oh, you want to be as strong as god? Ok, I will thrust you out of the garden, and you can rule yourself.

Satan does not control this world, man does. This is all god's way of showing man that, no, you can't govern yourself without god.

I think this was a bad move.

It seems kind of vidictive of god to do that. Like..why didnt he just say, listen, you guys, I'm god..you're not. Look what I can do, and look at all the things you can't do. They probably would have come around at that point. Let's say they didnt come around at that point..they were still like, god, you have a lot to prove to us. Ok, says god, and instantly they drop dead - Satan (the rogue angel), Adam, and Eve. Ok, now god can start over with a new Adam and Eve. Maybe John and Deb. Game starts over, they never eat the fruit from the forbidden tree, and bad angel Satan is gone forever.

BUTTTTT NOOOOOOOO. God had to use this complicated method of proving to all angels and humans (Adam, Eve, and all of their offspring), that they can not live without god. So they were cast out.

Fast forward thousands of years. Who knows how many years. Here we are.

Hey, god, do you think it's been enough? Have you proven your point yet? Did the 500,000 casualities in the Civil War alone do anything to persuade your punishment?

Do the millions of children that have died horrible, unfair deaths, do anything to persuade your decision to allow people to continue to suffer? Just last week a kitty died in my backyard.

Think about just the mental suffering that humans have endured during their time on the earth. The pain of seeing loved ones die, and then the pain of dying themselves. There is a lot of pain going around here with this plan.

What about the Tsunami? That looked like s-hit. How does that fit into your plan?

It says in the bible that god is loving and merciful. Honestly..those are the exact words. Can these statements be backed up by actions?

How can people actually pray to god? Why would you think that god would allow horrible things to continue to happen around the world, but he's going to "answer" some worthless prayer of yours? Pretty diluted thinking, friend.

Let's say god comes through. There are 2 different scenarios that people generally believe in. Some beleive the earth will be made into a paradise, and many of the people that have died will be resurrected and live on earth with everlasting life. That quote in the bible "the meek shall inherit the earth."

In the other scenario, people believe that you go to heaven. I tend to think that this one is NOT correct. God never intended for people to be in heaven..he intended for them to be on the earth, that's why he made them there. He intended for himself, his son, and the angels to be in heaven. But, hey, if you wanna believe it, god bless you.

Ok..so...what are you waiting for god. In Revelation it says that god destroyed the earth for the frist time with water (the flood), and that he will next destroy it with FIRE. That's not very nice. After all the things I've already outlined..we still need to have the place destroyed by fire? That sounds like s-hit. It sounds like things have really, really gone wrong.

[Scentless Apprentice]

I'm currently high on heroin while I read the bible.

Just following up.