Quote from: Thistle on September 04, 2009, 09:19:08 AMoh and btw.....i still have a load of fuckery. tom foolishness, and shenanigans left to accomplish.after 25 years with someone, i am learning how to live alone, and seeing if i like it. so far its ok, i guess, but i'm still sleeping with the lights on.I also like to think to think I have some shenanigans left to experience. The relationship thing is pretty intense. I can't say I relate, but I think we can all understand the pain and uncertainty that must go along with a situation like that. Don't feel bad about leaving the lights on, and leave them on for as long as you want. Try to take a little comfort in the fact that the sun is going to come up tomorrow, no matter what.
oh and btw.....i still have a load of fuckery. tom foolishness, and shenanigans left to accomplish.after 25 years with someone, i am learning how to live alone, and seeing if i like it. so far its ok, i guess, but i'm still sleeping with the lights on.
Yeah, one of the social paradigms of online socializing and making friends on public web pages that is very different from making and having friends/acquaintances strictly in person is the anonymity issue. It's not like in person conversations you have with people out in public places or where ever are recorded and archived for others to hear later in a place where you have no control of who is privy to the conversation like it is with public web interactions. To deal with that I try to operate by a simple rule of thumb. Don't say/post things or behave with/treat others online in ways that you would not with people in person, whether they are strangers or not. I think a big part of why many people, that may IRL be cool friendly people, sometimes get mean and nasty and treat others badly or behave in weird ways online in ways they would not behave with others in person is because you can to some extent hide behind an anonymous or semi anonymous pseudonym and operate under the assumption that people wont know who you are and that there will be no personal consequences for being bad or whatever. The common assumption of being completely anonymous and immune from consequences of ones online behavior sometimes brings out the worst in people and some people take that assumption as free license to be a total a-hole on discussion boards and other online places. The assumption is mainly false anyway. Pretty much nobody that socializes/social networks is completely anon on the web.Basically, people need to realize that online communication is not an 'Anything Goes' environment, there can be consequences for bad online behavior, and people should treat others online with the same common courtesy & respect they would with others in person.
Oh Miss P, I'm shocked! No, seriously, I agree with some things .Chuck said, and disagree with others. I had made the comment that my view of social communication on the internet has slightly been changed. I really think that my discussions with you (Miss P) in threads and in PM's helped make that change. Let me give you one example where I think anonymity helped me write something online that I wouldnt normally say in person. To me, this doesnt make me an a-hole, or someone who's "taking advantage" of anonymity. I made this RETARDED observation, and I was just free-flowing: from my mind, straight to the keyboard when I wrote this (from page 1 of this thread): "I remember thinking about love and marriage and such when I was younger...maybe like 10 or 11. You know, thinking normal stuff..like one day I will probably be married, etc. Now that I'm older..I now know how much the tongue is involved. Back then..I had no idea."Now, this is obviously a silly comment. But, you know what? I think it's true. I also think it's funny. And, if I was out socially, or I was on a date with multiple couples..or if I knew other people on this board knew my true identity..I probably wouldnt have typed it. I would have censored myself because of what others may have thought. I don't think this is an uncommon thing. We are walking contradictions. Many people say one thing, and actually think something else. Have you ever said something nice to a friend just to make them feel better? Many people do this all the time, and it's considered "nice." I think there are flaws in this behavior. For some reason I'm thinking of Michael Jackson. How many people do you think said to Michael, "dude, Michael..you look seriously screwed UP, your face is completely screwed up..you look like an alien. And with these allegations..you should run for the hills for a while, you're practically a laughing stock. In your current state you are nothing less than creepy, etc." Nobody said that. If anybody tried to make a comment to him, it was probably completely watered down. If there was an anonymous board where people could make comments to Michael Jackson, things probably would get pretty blunt and to the point. Things would get said that people THINK but don't have the guts to SAY. I don't think is an uncommon phenomena. So, ultimately, this makes me disagree with this comment from .Chuck's post: "Don't say/post things or behave with/treat others online in ways that you would not with people in person, whether they are strangers or not."I think that leads to a boring messageboard. I made comments in Exile that were considered quite rude by some users. I was being honest when I said that I thought certain posts were boring. I would be a liar if I said otherwise. Now, one thing I've learned, thanks to you Miss P, as well as .Chuck and Matthies, is that sometimes when you see something that bothers you on the board..and you're blowing it up in your head into some big deal..just relax, and take it for what it really is.I am a true believe that people commonly think things in their minds that they don't want to share with others, even their closest loved ones. I agree with certain parts of what .Chuck & Miss P think. I do think you should not be an a-hole. I do think you should not stalk people online through a messageboard and harass them. Let's say you have a friend who is overweight. Seriously overweight. You socialize with them a lot..and you notice that they always eat Mcdonalds, or Pizza Hut, ice cream, whatever. They're always complaining how they can't meet a guy or a girl, blah blah, woe is me, I'm so overweight. It's likely a friend might be supportive, might suggest a different diet plan, exercise plan, etc. Or just even say 'hey, I'm here for you, friend.'Now, if they were allowed to post their advice on an anonymous messageboard..it might be more like "Why don't you start by not eating fast food like 3 times a day? Why don't you stop eating pizza? Have you ever considered actually exercising?"Miss P, this reminds me of that post where I strongly disagree over something you told another poster. I think you know what I'm talking about. It involved censorship. To me, the other person was expressing this bluntness that I'm trying to describe. Sometime blunt talk like this, that is perceived as having no consequences because of its anonymity, can actually be helpful. Sometimes people need blunt honesty, and it doesnt always happen in "real life."I'm not sure if anything I've written has made sense. I respect the fact that some of you feel otherwise. I wrote it all the way straight through, and it was a total stream of consciousness. Miss P, you havent been around these parts in a while. I hope you come by Exilcest more often.
Hey whats up, Zippy. And Zap. I find myself on an island in the middle of the ocean. It's pretty weird so far. There are locals..and there are tourists. Quite a dichotomy. Makes me think of Jamaica Kincaid. I feel like less of a tourist since I have a family member that lives here, whose house I'm staying at..but..I'm still a tourist. They can spot me pretty easily. Oh well, not my fault. I'll have another shot of Crowne Reserve and follow it with a Heineken, once for Jamaica Kincaid, and another one for Exilcest.Who else puts this kind of care into a thread? It was an odd flight just knowing that I was landing on such a small strip of land..it just made it seem different. I've flown all over the 48..and never had a flight like this. Newlywed couples (thats what it seemed like) and geriatrics made up the bulk of the passengers. Maybe I need to get out more.