All my real interests are too weird/offensive to put on a resume

Not sure if I should just leave them off or take this as a sign that BigLaw isn't for me.
Speaking of "interests," I'm realizing that I'm going to have a hard time faking interest in things like "Capital Markets" or "Structured Finance" given that I don't even really know what they are. The only practice area I know anything about is Antitrust, which, while interesting to me, is competitive and doesn't really exist in my desired market.
Of course, this is assuming I get any interviews at all.